Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

into the rain behind them.

      Valkyrie turned, saw him there and the next moment she had her arms wrapped around him and her head on his shoulder. He laughed and hugged her back. He was soaking wet, but she didn’t mind.

      Thurid Guild hurried out after him and made straight for Skulduggery. “My family,” he said. “Sanguine has—”

      “They’re OK,” Valkyrie said, stepping away from Fletcher and composing herself. “They’re in Howth, around Nashville Drive.”

      He looked at her, surprised. He was drenched too. “He let them go?”

      “I let them go,” she said. “But I don’t think he was going to hurt them anyway. You’re the one they wanted to hurt.”

      “What happened?” Shudder asked Guild. “Where’s the bomb?”

      “Mr Renn teleported us over the ocean somewhere,” Guild said.

      “I took this cruise once,” Fletcher said. “Thought I’d like it. It was boring so I left halfway through. But I needed somewhere safe, somewhere without any people, and that popped into my head. I teleported there, dropped off the Grand Mage and teleported away again.” He turned to Valkyrie. “Your window’s fixed by the way.”

      She frowned. “You teleported into my room?”

      “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t have time to think, you know? I just needed to get somewhere safe and I ended up there. No one saw me. Your room is still a mess though.”

      She scowled and he laughed.

      “The Desolation Engine detonated,” Guild said, picking up the story. “The blast left me unharmed, but I expect it vaporised every fish around me.”

      “Better fish than people,” Ghastly said.

      “Not if you’re a fish,” Shudder pointed out.

      “I was in the water,” Guild continued, “and I tried to imagine what it would have been like to have detonated that bomb with all those people around. You saved over 80,000 lives today, boy.”

      Fletcher’s smile kind of froze. “I … I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

      “I owe you everything.”

      “Uh … wow.”

      “I owe all of you everything.”

      “But mostly me,” Fletcher said.

      “Scarab is still alive,” said Skulduggery. “Marr has taken him into custody.”

      Guild’s face slackened for a moment. “Then she will learn the truth.”

      “She might keep quiet about it,” Ghastly offered.

      “No. No, she won’t. And she shouldn’t. After today, after what I was prepared to do, I think I deserve to be held accountable for my actions. If I am brought up on charges, so be it.”

      “Thurid,” Skulduggery said, “we’re talking about possible jail time.”

      “I am aware of the implications, Detective. But as for right now, I must go to my family. Thank you again, all of you.” He walked away.

      “But mostly me,” Fletcher called after him and Valkyrie punched his arm. The moment her fist made contact they teleported.

      She looked around. They were in Kenspeckle’s Medical Bay.

      “I thought you might want that bite looked at,” Fletcher grinned as he rubbed his arm. His hair was flattened and spiky in all the wrong places.

      “Your hair looks wonderful,” she said.

      He laughed and was about to retort when she grabbed his collar and pulled him into her. She clamped her lips around his mouth and mashed her face into his. He took a step back in surprise and she went with him, stepping in a patch of wet floor. Her legs went from under her and she flailed as she fell, whacking him in the throat on the way down. She looked up at him as he gagged and coughed, and from across the corridor she could hear Tanith laughing hysterically.

      “I think I need practice,” Valkyrie muttered.

      

      ow many times have I saved your life?” Kenspeckle Grouse asked her. “More than a few, I’d wager. I’ve cleaned cuts and sewn wounds and fixed bones, and every time you leave here I tell you to be careful. Are you ever careful? It seems to me you never are. Do you think I’m joking when I tell you to take care? To stay out of trouble? To try and not get yourself killed? It appears to me, to poor, neglected, misunderstood, unappreciated little old me, that you do think I’m joking. This worries me. Apart from anything else, it credits me with a sense of humour I neither possess nor desire.”

      “I don’t think you’re joking,” Valkyrie offered.

      “A vampire bite,” Kenspeckle continued. “You’re a victim of a vampire bite. Do you really think this is an appropriate injury for a young woman to have?”

      “Probably not, though now I’m curious as to what is an appropriate injury.”

      “You got yourself bitten, Valkyrie. Your magic clothes didn’t stop that from happening, did they? Your sharp tongue didn’t fend off those sharp teeth, did it? You could have died, you silly girl, or at the very least be turned into one of those things.”

      She looked at him and said nothing.

      His craggy face softened. “The cure for a vampire bite is radically different depending on how long the victim waits before seeking treatment. You’re lucky you came to me immediately afterwards.”

      “I’m cured?”

      “You’re cured.”

      “Does that mean you’ll stop referring to me as a victim?”

      He sighed. “Sometimes my bedside manner leaves something to be desired. I don’t mean to lecture you all the time.”

      “I don’t mind it.”

      “But I just wish you’d be more careful.”

      “So do I.”

      “And how is the headache?”

      “Almost gone. I don’t know what’s causing them. Maybe my brain is leaking.”

      “For a brain to leak, you would first need a brain.” Kenspeckle smiled, and his smile wavered. “I think Tanith Low is scared of me.”

      “Tanith’s not scared of anyone.”

      “Fear and hatred are easily confused.”

      “Just give her time. She knows it wasn’t you who hurt her. How are you doing though?”

      “I’m fine. A nightmare or two, but that’s to be expected. It’s a blessing actually, the fact that I can’t remember a thing that happened. I think that would be too much for me to handle. I never wanted to hurt anyone else ever again.”

      “You didn’t hurt Tanith,” Valkyrie said as firmly as she could. “The Remnant did. You’re you now, the Kenspeckle who lectures me while he heals me. He’s the only one that’s real.”

      “You are wise beyond your years.”

      “I’ve always thought so.”

      Kenspeckle kept her confined to bed for two days. Tanith was transferred to the bed next to her. Skulduggery called by