Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

they just want to use me to destroy the world, and seeing as how I’m in the world, that would still be a bad thing for me. I know you all think that I’m really confident and nothing can faze me—”

      “None of us think that,” Ghastly said.

      “My point is, I’m not going to walk over there and risk being caught. And I’m not even sure why you’d want me to.”

      “Mr Bliss wants Guild back,” Skulduggery said, “and his argument is valid. Guild’s death could have catastrophic consequences.”

      “Could have,” Fletcher pointed out. “But if they get me to bring back the Faceless Ones, that will have catastrophic consequences! The first one’s a possibility, the second is a certainty! Why am I the only one to be logical about this?”

      Skulduggery looked at him. “When you have lived as long as we have, you see things in the long term and you plan accordingly.”

      Sanguine emerged from the other tent and strolled happily across the bridge.

      “It’s starting,” Tanith said. “Fletcher, I’m really sorry about this, but you’re going to have to trust us.”

      “Oh, bloody hell …”

      Sanguine was a few steps away.

      “You’d better not let them take me,” Fletcher whispered.

      “Knock knock,” came Sanguine’s slow, lazy drawl. He walked in, smiling, hands up and empty. “How ya’ll doin’ today? You don’t mind me sayin’, there are some serious faces lookin’ back at me. A more sensitive fella than me might believe not everyone’s excited about this. Come on, people, it’s a trade! It’s meant to be fun!”

      “You talk an awful lot,” Tanith said, “and you say precious little.”

      “Sword-lady,” Sanguine smiled. “I have missed you, y’know that? Many a night I have lain awake, thinkin’ of all the different ways I could kill you. My favourite scenario, it’s a silly little thing, but it’s where I cut your throat and your head rolls back, and your eyes are wide open and really, y’know, pleading, and I grab your hair and just …” He stopped and laughed. “Listen to me, getting’ all sentimental when there’s business to be done. I been sent over here to orchestrate this whole affair, so … So I suppose let’s get to orchestratin’.”

      “Send Guild over,” said Skulduggery.

      “Now that ain’t how it’s gonna be played, an’ you know it. Rules of the game are fairly simple, but I’ll go slow on account of the dumb-lookin’ one – and I’ll let you decide among yourselves which one of you I’m referrin’ to.”

      Moving slowly, he took a pair of handcuffs from his pocket. “I’m gonna latch these here shackles on to Fletcher-boy’s wrists,” he continued, “just to make sure he don’t do nothin’ dumb like teleport away. Then he’s gonna walk across to my friends there, as they send your boss man over here to you. It’s fairly simple, all things considered. Even a child could understand it.” He looked around. “Speakin’ of children, where’s the girl? I’m kinda missin’ the scowl.”

      Skulduggery ignored the question. “You’re staying this side of the bridge until the trade is complete.”

      Sanguine shook his head. “I got my orders. I gotta get back.”

      “We’re not running the risk of you grabbing Fletcher and disappearing with him.”

      “It’s a bridge, Bones. I travel through the ground, I travel through walls, I travel wherever I can fit – how am I supposed to fit beneath that little walkway?”

      “All the same, you’re staying here.”

      “All the same, no I ain’t.” Tanith’s sword slid from her coat and pressed against his neck. Sanguine hesitated for just a moment. “You know what? I’ve just changed my mind. I’ll stand over there and won’t say a word.”

      Ghastly moved up behind him, twisting his arm into a lock that, if he moved, would result in excruciating pain and torn ligaments.

      “I can’t see why you don’t just put me in shackles,” Sanguine grunted.

      “Because you said last year that shackles don’t affect you,” Tanith told him.

      “I said that?”

      “Yes, you did.”

      “I was lyin’. Shackles render me powerless. I swear.”

      “Try not to talk so much,” Ghastly warned. “It annoys me.”

      “Tanith,” Skulduggery said and stepped out of the tent. Tanith joined him and together they walked slowly across the bridge. Gallow and Murder Rose came to meet them.

      The Liffey was dark and dirty beneath them.

      “Skulduggery,” Gallow said when they reached the middle. “Have you come to beg perhaps? To cry? Maybe you’d like to switch sides? It’s too late, but it would be highly amusing to watch you try.”

      “Where’s your master, Gallow?”

      Gallow smiled. “I have no master. The Diablerie is a family of like-minded—”

      “Batu is your master,” Skulduggery interrupted. “He’s the one giving you your orders, handing out your assignments, patting you on the head whenever you need it. So where is he? He’s watching, isn’t he?”

      “He’s around,” Gallow smiled. Murder Rose whispered in his ear. “Oh yes, a very good point, Rose. Where is our Texan associate?”

      “He’s staying with us for the moment, until the trade is complete.”

      “A wise move, I suppose. You wouldn’t want us cheating you, after all. Send the boy out, with the shackles on.”

      Gallow turned and walked back to the tent, Murder Rose behind him.

      Tanith and Skulduggery returned to their tent.

      “Are you ready?” Skulduggery asked Fletcher.

      Fletcher looked at Tanith and she saw that he wasn’t bothering to hide it any more – he was afraid. His eyes flickered back to Skulduggery and he held his hands out while Skulduggery cuffed him. “You have a plan, right?”

      “I do.”

      “Can you tell me what it is?”

      “We save the world, we all go home.”

      “That’s a good plan.”

      “I have my moments.”

      Raindrops started to tap lightly on the tarpaulin cover.

      “I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Skulduggery said.

      “Do you think Valkyrie is all right?”

      “Crux probably has her in one of the holding cells. To be honest, there’s a fair chance that she’s safer than any of us right now.”

      “OK. OK.”

      “They’re not going to hurt you,” Tanith said. “They need you.”

      Fletcher nodded. “After this, what say you and me go for a coffee or something? You’d really like me if you got to know me. I’ve known me for years and I love me.”

      She smiled. “Maybe.”

      “Really?”

      “No.”

      He returned the smile with a shaky one of his own, and then he stepped into the bubble and vanished from sight. Tanith put her hand through, watching how it became instantly invisible, and then she took a step forward and now she could see him leaving the tent. Skulduggery was beside her, and Ghastly dragged Sanguine up so he could see what was going