One Hundred Proposals. Holly Martin

add insult to injury, as I tried to arrange myself subtly into a sexy pose on the bed next to him as he chomped through his Bacon and Egg McMuffin, I had simply slithered off the bed into a crumpled heap on the floor. Nowadays it seemed much easier and more comfortable to sleep in my regular pyjamas.

      Harry handed me a coffee fresh from the café round the corner. I took a sip – it was made exactly how I liked it, with three sugars and a dash of hazelnut syrup. As I went to take another sip, I realised that a small heart had been drawn in the froth on the top. I smiled and hovered near his side, peering round him to the brown paper bag I could see tucked by his hip.

      He was busy reading so I coughed loudly to gain his attention. When he glanced up, I looked deliberately at the bag.

      ‘How do you know this is for you?’

      ‘Because you always bring me nice things from the café. What is it this morning, an apricot Danish, ooh a walnut plait or…’

      He whisked it out the bag and showed it to me, and the words dried in my throat. Iced into the top of my favourite cinnamon swirl were the words ‘Marry Me.’

      I had almost forgotten about this silly hundred proposals thing. I’d hoped he’d forgotten as well. But now it looked like he really did mean to torture me. One hundred days. One hundred different ways to break my heart.

      I looked at him and he was watching me hopefully.

      ‘It’s certainly unique.’ I took the bun from him, and picked a currant out of it, averting my gaze from his. I forced my voice to sound normal before I spoke again. ‘If I bite into this am I at risk of swallowing a diamond ring?’

      He shook his head. ‘No ring. You said a ring was clichéd. Besides, why propose with diamonds when you can propose with cinnamon and coffee?’

      ‘You should take a picture of it before I eat it. Put it on the blog.’ I had a huge lump in my throat.

      ‘Good idea.’ He whipped out his phone, pressed a few buttons and pointed it in my direction. I held it out for him to get a good angle and realised my hands were shaking. Harry realised it too. To my shame, tears swam in my eyes.

      Harry was off the bed in a second. ‘What’s wrong, what’s happened?’

      ‘Nothing, I’m fine. Just tired.’ I stepped away from him but he pulled me back, holding me tight and squashing the bun between us. I breathed him in, his wonderful earthy smell as he started to stroke my back.

      ‘Did something happen with Tiny Tim?’

      I couldn’t keep up with the lie any longer and it had achieved nothing anyway.

      ‘We broke up,’ I said into his chest, hoping that would explain why I was soaking his shirt with my tears.

      ‘Oh honey, I’m sorry.’ His hand moved to my hair and my breath caught in my throat. ‘Had you been seeing him long?’

      Oh what a tangled web we weave.

      ‘A few weeks. It wasn’t serious, but I really liked him. But obviously I liked him more than he liked me.’

      ‘Well then the man’s an idiot. Who wouldn’t love a girl in a cow print onesie?’

      I giggled.

      He tilted my face up to look at him.

      ‘Right, enough tears. Any man who makes you cry is not worth it.’

      If only he knew.

      ‘Anyway, I have a day out planned for you today, so stop moping around and get yourself showered and dressed.’

      He released me and we both looked at the squashed bun. Although it looked a bit worse for wear, the words ‘Marry Me’ were still very obvious on the top. Harry took a photo and I quickly ate it so I wouldn’t have to stare at the empty words any longer. It tasted good, despite the fact that with every mouthful my heart broke a little bit more.

      ‘So, as proposals go, is this what you imagined for yourself?’ Harry asked, when it was gone.

      ‘Undoubtedly. The perfect proposal. So you don’t have to bother with the other ninety-eight different ways now. Write on the blog that you bought me a cinnamon swirl and I caved. I’m a cheap date, easily pleased.’

      Harry pulled a face. ‘It was a bit cheap and naff, wasn’t it? Ok, for my next one it will be something huge.’

      ‘Really, the cinnamon swirl was cute… and don’t underestimate the value of cute.’

      But Harry was already walking away into the office, scrolling through his phone as he went.

      ‘Harry, are you listening? Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a personalised cinnamon swirl.’

      ‘Get in the shower, woman, I need to make some calls.’

      I sighed. I had to sway him from this path. Ninety-eight heart-breaking days stretched ahead of me like an endless desert, with no respite from the sun.

      I got in the shower and stuck my head under the stream.

      No, I could do this. Proposals were my entire waking life. My dreams were plagued by them too. Something like this could only be good for business. I just had to become immune to the words. They were empty and meaningless. And now I knew that I was to expect it every day, I could prepare myself for it, pretend in my head the words meant something else.

      I got dressed quickly and walked into the office.

      ‘Hey.’ Harry was busy typing. ‘Our blog has nineteen followers already.’

      ‘Our Proposer’s Blog? This hundred proposals malarkey?’

      ‘Malarkey? I’m offended.’ He smiled up at me briefly before returning his attention to the screen. ‘Yes, I guess they want to see what I come up with next.’

      I leaned over him to see what he had written and caught a whiff of his wonderful clean earthy smell. There was the close-up picture of my squashed bun, and another picture I hadn’t realised he had taken – of me eating it, my hair a full bird’s nest, my face red and blotchy from the tears, dressed in my rather unflattering cow print onesie. Great!

      Under the picture was Harry’s blog.

      Proposer’s Blog

      Day 2: The Cinnamon Swirl Proposal. Location: Suzie’s bedroom (I assure you, nothing saucy going on here).

       Is the way to a woman’s heart through her stomach?

       Our Suzie McKenzie has a very sweet tooth and so I thought to charm her with a sweet proposal of her own. Nadia’s Bakery, St Patrick’s Road makes the best Cinnamon Swirls in the world and it’s one of Suzie’s all-time favourite things to eat for breakfast. So when I explained the situation to the lovely Nadia this morning she was more than happy to provide me with a personalised one along with a heart-topped latte.

      So what was Suzie’s reaction? She seemed a bit blasé about it actually. Wolfed it down and barely registered the words.

      That wasn’t true of course, but it was better he wrote that than writing that I burst into tears.

      I always thought those proposers that pop the question with a ring at the bottom of the champagne glass were silly – who wants to fish the diamond ring out of the toilet a few days later? Though now Suzie’s eaten my proposal, there’s nothing left of it apart from the icing on her lips.

      I immediately checked my lips and I saw Harry smirk out of the corner of my eye.

      Next time, I will do something grand. Something she can’t possibly miss. Plus, who would really say yes over a 59p Cinnamon Swirl?

      ‘That makes me sound shallow,’ I said, squeezing past him to log on to my own computer.

      ‘Not shallow,