In His Eyes. Gail Gaymer Martin

She’d grasped the mug of chocolate and was blowing on the top. Connor patted the cushion beside him.

      Caitlin noticed, but hesitated.

      “Hi, Caitlin. I’m glad to meet you,” Ellene said, watching the child’s unsteady journey with her hot drink.

      Caitlin gave her a shy look, then moved closer and finally settled beside Connor.

      Ellene took a sip of the coffee, surprised that Connor remembered she liked it with milk, and studied the child. She saw Connor’s image in the little girl, and it was more than the blue eyes. Caitlin had the same determined set to the jaw. What looked different was her nose, more delicate and slightly rounded at the tip. The early thought rose in her mind. What would her and Connor’s little daughter have looked like? If…

      No ifs. She clinched her jaw, struggling to gain control of her thoughts and let her question slide. She focused on Caitlin, wishing she could do something to bring a smile to the child’s face, something to help her relax. “Do you know why I’m here?”

      Caitlin shook her head as she glanced toward her dad.

      “I’m here to fix your new house for you.”

      “I don’t want a new house,” she mumbled.

      Her response startled Ellene. She figured most kids would love the excitement of moving to a new house. “You don’t think it’ll be fun to have new adventures and make new friends?”

      The child looked away, never letting her gaze land on Ellene. “I don’t want new friends. I hate it here.”

      Ellene flinched again at the child’s vehemence. “Why?”

      The simple question seemed to stump the girl. She looked down at the floor, then into her cocoa mug and shrugged.

      “I’d love to live on an island,” Ellene said, knowing that she’d stretched the truth a bit. She’d enjoy the island in the summer.

      Caitlin gave her a wary look, but for the first time, had finally looked into her eyes.

      Ellene’s chest tightened at the visual contact. “Your daddy—” The word hurt to say. “—can take you in a boat in the summer, and you can go swimming on the beach. And in the wintertime, you can—” Can what? Freeze to death was all she could think of.

      “Tell Ellene what we’re going to do with your bedroom,” Connor said, filling Ellene’s abrupt silence.

      Caitlin shook her head. “I don’t want a new bedroom.”

      Hearing the child’s plaintive voice, Ellene felt rocked with compassion and set her cup on the table. She and Connor needed to get to their business, but Caitlin’s unhappiness engulfed her.

      Ellene’s mind spun with actions. Not confident in her tack, she rose. “Why don’t you show me your room? Maybe you could tell me what another girl might like if she lived in this house. I bet you have good ideas.”

      The child studied her a minute, and to Ellene’s amazement, she stood, eyed her dad and then headed toward the stairway. Ellene gave Connor a sidelong look and followed.

      Connor watched them head up the stairs, then stood to follow but changed his mind. He’d leave well enough alone. Maybe Caitlin would soften her belligerence, and Ellene would see the sweet child she really was.

      He drained his cup, set it on the table and wandered to the glass doorway that led to the porch. Outside he saw the crystallized snow that rimmed the lake. His gaze drifted to the porch love seat while memories swept him away.

      He and Ellene had visited the cottage more than once, and they’d sat on the porch, occasionally alone, where he could sneak a kiss. He recalled her soft lips. They were young and inexperienced, not that he’d wanted to be. He’d listened to the guys in the high school locker room relate their conquests, brag about their prowess, and he’d laugh and nod as if he knew what they were talking about.

      But he’d respected Ellene too much even to suggest anything like that to her. Now that he thought back, he wondered where he’d gotten such self-control. He’d wanted to know the secrets that his buddies bragged about, but his morals had stopped him from tempting fate.

      So why in college had he succumbed so easily to Melanie? He’d been hurt by Ellene’s rejection. Rejection? The excuse sounded so weak. They’d promised to marry after he graduated from college—only a couple of years to wait. Ellene had been the only woman he’d really loved.

      Rejection was no excuse for his behavior. He’d gotten involved with Melanie on the rebound. She’d been attractive and more romantically experienced, and he’d thought…

      Connor listened to the sounds above him, longing for life to have taken a different turn. Would his life have been different if he’d controlled himself with Melanie? Could he have resolved the problem with Ellene and gotten back together?

      Though he’d tried, Connor couldn’t remember how he and Ellene had become friends, but they had. They had been raised differently. She’d been born into a family he’d never experienced. Her parents lived well, enjoying their Italian heritage. He could picture the lovely home surrounded by flowers and trees. Her mother, always neatly dressed, wore jewelry and perfume. She attended social functions and volunteered at one of the charity foundations, while her father ran the family business. They had money and luxuries. Their family gatherings were loud and full of food and love.

      His own family struggled to make ends meet. His mom worked behind the counter at a dollar store, and his dad worked in a small factory, coming home with grime beneath his fingernails and smelling of cigarette smoke.

      Another noise from above caused Connor to turn and look up. Enough of wondering what was happening with Caitlin and Ellene. He strode across the room and up the staircase.

      The second story reminded him why Ellene had come to the cabin. The upper floor held two small rooms with limited closet space, hardly a place for a young girl to feel at home. Caitlin had the larger room, but the smaller one had become a storage area with boxes and unused furniture that needed to be tossed out. Connor longed to make one lovely room for Caitlin with space to spare.

      He strode past the smaller room and stood outside Caitlin’s door. “So how’s it going?” he asked as he stepped inside.

      Ellene was sitting on the corner of the bed while Caitlin stood in the middle of the room, pointing toward the closet.

      “Are you telling Ellene what you want up here?”

      “I don’t want anything. I told you.” Her piercing voice was followed by the sweep of her hand across a night table. The contents clattered to the floor. “You never listen to me. I’m telling her what the other girl wants.”

      “What other girl?” he asked.

      The child’s face darkened to crimson as she shook her finger at him. “The girl Ellene said who’ll live in this house.”

      “That’s enough, Caitlin.” Connor struggled to keep his voice calm. He stepped forward, catching her by the arm and drawing her to his side. “I’m sorry. I forgot, but you can’t be rude like this.”

      Ellene rose from the bed and edged toward the door, looking uneasy. “I’ll be downstairs.”

      He returned his attention to Caitlin, embarrassed that Ellene had to see his daughter’s worst behavior. He closed his eyes a minute to gather his thoughts. “I can’t let you treat an adult this way, Caitlin. If I were mean to you then I might deserve this, but I love you, and I only want the best for you.”

      Her belligerent look faded as tears pooled in her eyes and she reached up for him to lift her into his arms. She tilted her head forward and rested her chin on his shoulder, tears flowing onto his shirt. His chest heaved with sadness as he cuddled his daughter. Lately she’d changed from a shy, quiet child to a withdrawn, angry one.

      Connor held Caitlin in his arms, smelling the lemony scent of