Daddy Lessons. Carolyne Aarsen

his coat and his backpack. “Why do I have to put on my coat? It gets so hot in the bus.”

      Hailey knelt down. “If something happens, we want you to be properly dressed.”

      As she helped him with his coat, the doors at the end of the noisy hallway opened up again. A tall figure strode around the much smaller bodies, shifting to avoid the headlong rush of children released from the confines of the class.

      Although she had seen Dan Morrow every afternoon for the past week, each time an echo of her old feelings lifted her heart.

      He was taller than he had been in high school; his shoulders had filled out and broadened. His blond hair had darkened, his face had gained a few more lines, but it was his gaze that snagged and held her attention.

      His deep-set eyes used to mesmerize and melt her heart. Now they looked at her with a calm indifference that hurt her more than anger would have.

       You broke up with him because he wanted to leave. Why do you care how he looks at you?

      The question mocked her as she forced her attention back to Adam, who was squirming like a snake.

      Dan reached for the door to the class, but Hailey held out a hand to stop him. “Natasha’s teacher, Miss Tolsma, wants to talk to you before you take Natasha home,” she said.

      “Why?”

      Hailey hesitated, then angled him a quick glance. “Today was not … not Natasha’s best day,” she said, deliberately keeping her comment vague in front of Adam, Natasha’s classmate.

      “At least she got out of the truck right away today,” Dan said, with a hopeful note in his voice. He shot a quick glance through the window in the classroom door at his daughter, who sat perched at the edge of a tiny chair, clutching her backpack.

      Hailey followed his glance and suppressed a sigh as she zipped up Adam’s coat.

      It was Friday afternoon and school was done for the week. As he had the past four days, Dan had come to pick Natasha up. Megan Tolsma had asked Hailey to tell Dan she needed to talk to him. However, Megan was still in a staff meeting, leaving Hailey to fill the awkward silence between her and Dan with idle chitchat.

      At one time Hailey could have regaled Dan with stories about people they knew. Passed on a bit of gossip. Talked about the snow conditions on the mountain.

      Now their history and the silence of the past seven years yawned like a chasm between them, and above that space floated memories of Austin’s death. The tragic event that pushed them apart. That sent Dan west to Vancouver and Hailey in the opposite direction.

      Dan drummed his fingers against his thigh, obviously also aware of the awkwardness trembling between them.

      Hailey dragged her attention back to Adam. “Are you still coming to the ranch next week?” Adam asked as Hailey tugged a toque on his head. “Mommy made your favorite chocolate cupcakes and put them in the freezer so me and Carter won’t eat them.”

      “I’m excited for cupcakes,” she said, hoping Dan didn’t hear the waver in her voice.

      Please, Lord, she prayed, help me get over this. I don’t want to feel so confused around him. This has to get easier.

      It’s that whole first love thing, she reminded herself. You never really forget the drama and emotions of that first love. She just had to try.

      Yet, as she wrapped Adam’s scarf around his neck, she knew her reaction to Dan was beyond that of former high school sweethearts. Dan had been part of her dreams and the promise of a settled and secure future—something she had lacked with a mother who always wanted to be anywhere but Hartley Creek. And a father who had left her and her sisters long ago.

      While she tied up the ends of the scarf, Adam turned his attention back to Dan.

      “Are you Natasha’s daddy?”

      “Yes. Are you friends with her?” Dan asked back.

      “I want to be, but she doesn’t play with me. She’s not fun.”

      Hailey tugged on Adam’s scarf to get his attention. “Remember? We only say good things about our friends,” she said, adding in a warning frown when Adam met her gaze.

      “She’s not my friend yet,” Adam protested. “She won’t play with me because all she does is cry.”

      She needed to work on the potency of her frown, Hailey thought. Obviously it had no effect on Adam. As Hailey glanced back at Dan she caught a shadow of pain cross his expression.

      All week she and Megan had tried to be diplomatic with Dan in their discussions about Natasha. Dan kept insisting Natasha only needed a few more days to get used to the routine.

      But Natasha needed more than a few more days to settle in. They hadn’t told him yet that Natasha had spent all of today hunched over her knapsack, her hair hanging over her face, silent tears streaming down her cheeks.

      Megan was saving that information for the parent-teacher meeting this afternoon.

      Hailey pushed herself to her feet. “Out you go, buddy. Say hi to your mom and Carter for me,” she said, sending Adam out the door, watching to make sure he got to the bus. When she saw the principal of the school urging Adam on, she turned back to Dan.

      “So, how does that kid know your cousin Carter?” Dan asked.

      “His mother, Emma, and my cousin Carter are engaged.”

      “Glad to hear that,” Dan said, slipping his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. “Carter’s had it pretty rough the past few years. What with losing his wife and then his little boy.”

      Hailey tried not to read too much into his knowledge of her family. Carter was her cousin, but he was also a part of the Hartley Creek community. Dan’s mother and father would have kept Dan abreast of what was going on.

      “Carter’s happy now.”

      Dan nodded, then blew out a sigh. “What did that little guy mean when he said all Natasha does is cry?”

      “Today wasn’t a good day for Natasha.” That was all she felt comfortable telling him.

      “She’ll have her good and bad days, I guess,” Dan replied. The look he gave Hailey seemed to contain both challenge and hope.

      She swallowed, unable to look away, wondering if he ever thought of their last time together and the fight they had. Had he done the same thing as she had done in the months that followed? Relive that conversation over and over? Say things differently?

      After Austin died, Dan had pulled back. She had understood that and had given him room to grieve. Then, when he finally asked to get together again it was to tell her that he wanted to move away from Hartley Creek. When she asked him why he said only that he needed space.

      As she’d faced him down, Hailey had relived the pain she felt when she’d watched her father silently pack his suitcase, then walk past her and out of the house. She had been eight years old then and vividly remembered her helplessness.

      Added to the past memory was the reality that four months before Austin’s accident, when Hailey had just graduated from high school, her mother, Denise, decided her youngest daughter was old enough to fend for herself. Her sisters, Naomi and Shannon, were out of the house already, so Denise packed up and moved away from Hartley Creek, leaving Hailey behind.

      Then Dan wanted to leave her too?

      It was all too much. This time she would be in charge, Hailey had thought. This time she wasn’t going to be left behind. So she’d broken up with him.

      Part of her had hoped, even yearned, that he would plead with her not to break up. That he would change his mind and want to stay in Hartley Creek with her.

      But nothing.

      The first six months he was gone, she nurtured the faint hope he would return.