The Amish Nanny. Patricia Davids

closed her eyes in shame. “I was afraid you would beat him.”

      He didn’t reply. She chanced a look at him and saw disbelief written on his face. Quickly, she said, “When my parents died, my sisters and I went to live with our onkel. He wasn’t kind.”

      “He was cruel to you?”

      She nodded, unable to speak past the lump in her throat.

      After a long pause, he said, “I see. Have your fears for my children been eased, or have I given you more to worry about?”

      He was offended. She didn’t blame him. She swallowed hard. “I was wrong, and I beg your forgiveness. I don’t need that ride home. Tell the children I said goodbye.”

      She rushed out of the house before he could say anything else, before he could see the tears of shame that sprang to her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.

      * * *

      It was a long hot walk home, but Clara barely noticed the distance or the growing heat of the early July day. She was too humiliated to care about the sun beating down on her shoulders or the dust she kicked up on the road. It was unlikely that Ethan would bring Lily to visit her now. Although she had only met the children briefly, she was quite taken with Amos and Lily. She would have enjoyed seeing them again.

      Clara looked up at the cloudless sky. It seemed that her poor behavior had cost her more than dented dignity. It was a hard lesson that she wouldn’t soon forget.

      When she finally reached her grandfather’s home, she found her sisters hard at work. Lizzie stood at the stove sweating over a huge pan of simmering ears of corn. At the back of the stove, a pressure cooker began to whistle. Lizzie used a pair of thick oven mitts to move it off the heat. At the kitchen table, her youngest sister, Betsy, was cutting the kernels off the cobs into a bowl while Greta packed them into glass jars.

      “Oh, good, you’re home.” Lizzie smiled brightly.

      Surrounded by her family, Clara let go of her self-pity. She had made a mistake. It couldn’t be undone. It couldn’t be changed. Life went on. She would remember Ethan and his family in her prayers, but that was all she could do. Perhaps in time, he would forgive her, but she couldn’t dwell on her blunders.

      She looked around the room at the people who loved her and accepted her as she was.

      “What can I do to help?” she asked, not wanting to think about Ethan anymore.

      Lizzie checked the simmering corn ears with a long fork, then put the lid back on the kettle. “You can gather and shuck more ears for us. We’ve put up thirty pints, but we should hurry and put up thirty more before the corn hardens in this heat.”

      “Okay. Where is Naomi?” Clara asked.

      Naomi was their grandfather’s new wife. After years of loving each other from afar, the Lord had finally given them the courage to begin a new chapter of their lives together. All the girls adored her. It was easy to see how happy she made their grandfather.

      “Naomi and Daadi have gone into town to visit Naomi’s daughter. We got word this morning after you had gone that Emma had her baby.”

      “How wonderful. Is it a boy or a girl?” Clara asked even as she shook off a stab of jealousy. She wanted children, too, but that required a husband. After her narrow escape, she was content to remain single. Teaching would be her calling.

      “Emma had a baby girl. She and Adam haven’t decided on a name yet,” Greta said.

      Betsy tossed her empty cob into a bucket at her feet and picked up another ear of corn. “Naomi will be spending a week or two with them so she can help with the baby and with running the inn.”

      “How was your day, Clara?” Greta asked.

      “It was fine. I’ll go bring in some more corn.” She didn’t want to talk about Ethan and his family. Her embarrassment was too fresh in her mind.

      Outside, she faced the corn patch Greta had tended so carefully through the spring and early summer. A red wagon with an empty crate in it sat beside the garden gate. She took the handle and pulled it to the end of the row. Leaving the wagon, she walked in among the green stalks. The smell of the corn and the rustling of the broad leaves in the breeze were a painful reminder of her visit to spy on Ethan.

      She grasped the first ear. The corn silk reminded her of Lily’s baby-fine blond hair. Clara peeled back a strip of corn husk to reveal the kernels beneath. Using her thumbnail, she pressed into one. A small splatter of juice told her the ear was perfect for picking. She pulled both ears off the stalk and moved to the next plant.

      Who would be canning corn for Ethan and his family? Perhaps some of the women in his church planned to do it for him. Or maybe he had family members who would come and take care of such things. She couldn’t envision Ethan happily canning vegetables in his kitchen, but she knew there were men who enjoyed such tasks.

      He would need a wife now that he had his brother’s children to care for. Even her short time with his family was enough to see he needed a woman’s touch in the home.

      And why was she thinking about him again?

      She sighed and kept working. It wasn’t as easy to forget about him as she had hoped.

      * * *

      “I want Clara to do this.” Lily sniffled and pulled the hairbrush from Ethan’s hand. She had been crying and asking for Clara all evening. He was at his wit’s end. Hopefully, a good night’s sleep would put Lily in a better frame of mind.

      “Clara isn’t here, and if I don’t braid your hair tonight it will be full of tangles in the morning.” He held out his hand.

      She threw the brush across the room. “I don’t care. I want to see my friend. She said you would take me to her house to meet her dog and her sheep. Why can’t we go there?”

      He walked across the room and picked up the brush. “It’s getting dark outside, and it’s time for bed, Lily. Clara will be asleep soon, and so should you.”

      He sat down at the edge of her bed. “Let me finish your hair.”

      “I’ll do it.” She took the brush from him and managed to smooth most of the strands between her sniffles.

      When she was done, he gently braided her soft blond locks and tied a ribbon on the end. It was a lopsided braid, but it was the best he could do.

      She rubbed her red-rimmed and swollen eyes with the back of her fists. “Can I go see Clara tomorrow?”

      “We’ll talk about it in the morning.” He covered her with a light sheet. The truly surprising thing was how much he wanted to see Clara again, too.

      “I miss her.” Lily started crying and buried her face in the pillow.

      Ethan sat beside her stroking her head until her sobs tapered off and eventually stopped. When she was asleep, he went downstairs and climbed wearily into his own bed.

      It felt as if he’d only had his eyes closed for a minute when he felt someone patting his face. He opened one eye. Lily, with her braid undone and her hair in a mat of tangles, stood beside his bed. Only the faintest hint of light showed around the edge of the blind over his window. It wasn’t even dawn yet.

      “Can we go see Clara now?” Lily asked hopefully.

      “Nee, we can’t. Stop this nonsense.”

      Lily burst into tears and sobbed harder than she had yesterday.

      He sat up. There wouldn’t be any more sleep for him.

      He tried to console her without success. Even her brothers couldn’t distract her when they got up. Lily refused to eat her breakfast and sat hiccuping at the table. The boys kept casting worried glances in his direction.

      What did he do now?

      The answer was clear. He needed Clara.