Apprentice Father. Irene Hannon

In his definition, “accidents” entailed injury and blood. But Josh didn’t appear to be hurt. However, his pajama bottoms did look funny. They were clinging to him. Like they were wet.

      All at once, Clay understood.

      “It happens s-sometimes at night, if he’s afraid.” A tremor ran through Emily’s voice. “I can clean it up. You don’t have t-to be mad.”

      Clay took a step into the room—but came to an abrupt halt when Josh cowered behind Emily with a whimper.

      They were scared. Really scared, he realized with a jolt. Anne had said that Martin had never hurt them, but now he wasn’t sure that was true. Softening his tone, he moved slowly into the room. “Accidents happen. It’s okay. Emily, why don’t you help Josh change into dry pajamas while I put new sheets on the bed?”

      She took her brother’s hand and tugged. “Come on, Josh.”

      The little boy followed, skirting him warily.

      After scrubbing and blow-drying the mattress, remaking the bed and tucking a folded towel under the fitted sheet on Josh’s side, Clay beckoned the children. “Okay. Good as new. Climb in.”

      Emily got in first, then pulled Josh up beside her. She pressed him down on the pillow and lay next to him, taking his hand. Clay tucked the blanket under their chins and sat on the edge of the bed.

      “I know everything is new, and that you miss your mommy. But I’ll take care of you. You don’t need to be scared.”

      “How come you didn’t get mad at Josh?” Emily searched his face.

      “He didn’t do it on purpose.”

      “I know. But Daddy always got mad.”

      With an effort, Clay kept his expression neutral and tried for a measured tone. “What did he do when he got mad?”

      “He yelled at Josh. And at Mommy.”

      “Did he spank Josh?”

      “No. But I think…I think he hit Mommy. He said it was her fault we had accidents. I spilled a glass of milk once, and Daddy yelled at Mommy. She had big bruises on her arm the next day.” Emily’s features contorted with misery. “We didn’t m-mean to hurt Mommy.” The last word caught on a sob. “We tried t-to be good.”

      Clay felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. With an unsteady hand he brushed the hair back from his niece’s forehead. It was soft and fine and gossamer.

      “It wasn’t your fault that your mommy got hurt, Emily. Or Josh’s. Your daddy shouldn’t have yelled at you about accidents, and he shouldn’t have hurt your mommy. That was a wrong thing to do.”

      “I wish M-Mommy was here now.”

      “So do I.” More than Emily would ever know, he reflected. “But she would want you to be brave. Will you try to do that?”

      Emily gave a tearful nod and looked at Josh, who had fallen asleep again, cuddled up beside her. “Josh is kind of little to be brave, though.”

      Clay swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Then we’ll have to help him.”

      “Okay.” Emily snuggled next to Josh, and her eyelids drifted closed.

      For several more minutes Clay sat there. Once their even breathing told him they were asleep he rose and headed toward the door, pausing on the threshold. The two youngsters were lost in the queen-sized bed, their bodies an almost indiscernible bump beneath the blanket. They seemed so tiny. So forlorn. So defenseless. And they were relying on him to see to all of their needs.

      Their physical needs, Clay could handle. Food, clothing and shelter weren’t hard to provide.

      But when it came to matters of the heart, he was in way over his head.

      She was about to hear bad news.

      Cate Shepard knew it the minute she walked in the back door of the Dugan home and found both Brenna and Steve waiting for her. In the two years she’d provided in-home child care for their son they’d become good friends, and she’d learned to read their moods.

      “Good morning.” She closed the door and summoned up a smile, steeling herself. “Why do I think this isn’t my lucky day?”

      Brenna sent a quick look to Steve, who cleared his throat and rose.

      “It’s one of those good news, bad news scenarios, Cate. I’ve been offered a great position with a new company in Chicago. Starting in two weeks. The bad news is we’ll have to leave behind the best child care provider we’ll ever hope to find.”

      She was out of a job.

      Cate managed to keep her smile in place. This had happened before; it would happen again. She’d manage, as she always did.

      “I’m happy for you, Steve. But I’ll miss all of you.”

      “We feel the same way about you, Cate.” Brenna stood and came forward to give her a hug. “You know we’ll give you a stellar recommendation.”

      “Thank you.” Cate gave her a squeeze, then stepped back. “Now tell me about the new opportunity.”

      She listened as the young couple explained Steve’s new position, commiserated with Brenna about her angst over finding a new job, and took care of Timmy for the rest of the day when the couple went to work.

      Only later, as she drove through the streets of Washington to her condo—with a quick detour for a fudgesicle at a convenience store—did she let herself think about the future.

      She always hated her jobs to end. In ten years of providing on-site child care, she’d been lucky to go through this only three times. Now she had to start the process over again. And while she’d never had trouble connecting with a family in need of her services, she usually had far more notice than this to find a new position.

      Pulling into the parking place near her condo, she picked up the fudgesicle. It was already softening in the unseasonable warmth of this early March Missouri day, she noted, walking to her front door as fast as her slightly uneven gait allowed.

      Once inside, she headed for the kitchen and unwrapped the treat. Leaning over the sink while she ate, she savored the fleeting sweetness as the rich chocolate melted on her tongue. And recalled, as she always did, the day she’d indulged in one after receiving the letter that had offered her a bright and shining future.

      But two weeks later, that future had melted away, as surely and irrevocably as her dissolving fudgesicle.

      Rinsing her sticky hands under the sink, her gaze lingered on the fingers of her left hand as a melancholy pang echoed through her. Long, slender and graceful, they looked the same as they always had. They just didn’t work as well.

      Yet dwelling on memories of a time when hopes were high and dreams came true was fruitless, she reminded herself. Her life was good now. She had a satisfying career. A loving family. A solid faith that had seen her through some rough stretches. If she didn’t have the one thing she most yearned for—a loving marriage blessed with children—she needed to accept that it wasn’t in God’s plan for her. And she was working on it.

      But it wasn’t easy.

      Securing the pillow under his head with a firm shove, Clay fought off consciousness—and reality—as long as possible. A week and a half into his new role as surrogate father, he was sinking fast.

      The kids had been thrown out of day care on Friday because four-year-old bed wetters weren’t acceptable, so he had to come up with alternative arrangements by tomorrow. And he had a ton of work to do that he hadn’t gotten to last week, thanks to all the changes in his life.

      It was not shaping up to a be a good Sunday.

      And the sober faces peering at him when he finally pried open his eyes suggested it was only going to get worse. Emily