Tell Me No Lies. Lisa Hall

at me, head on one side.

      ‘Oh, you poor thing. Yes, that must be terribly tough on you and … Henry, isn’t it? It must be especially hard for him, poor little boy, not having his daddy home every night. Well, I’m sure we can come up with something. It is so nice to see all the PTA children playing together, and they all become such good friends. Catch up later.’ She leans forward and kisses the air next to my cheek, sweeping off to join a gaggle of yummy mummies in the corner of the playground, all of whom have been watching our exchange with goggle-eyed interest. I watch as they close ranks around her, all except one, a slim woman with dark hair who stands a little way off to one side. She gives me a small smile and I smile uncertainly back, still unsure as to what actually just happened. Did Jasmine just insinuate that Henry doesn’t have any friends, and now that will be my fault as all the PTA children play together and my refusal to join means Henry won’t be included? Or am I just being paranoid? The gaggle of mums all turn simultaneously as I turn to leave the playground, Jasmine waving one gloved hand at me as I leave.

      I am still unsure hours later when I walk into the Hole in the Wall to meet Lila. This is only Henry’s first year at school, so I am feeling my way a little bit when it comes to playground etiquette, especially when it comes to things like joining the PTA. Maybe I should have just said yes, if that’s what all the other mums do. Anxiety about being seen to fit in playing on my mind, I take a deep breath as I walk into the pub, casting my eyes about quickly to see if Lila has already arrived. She is sitting at the best table in the pub, a tiny booth in the far corner, near the roaring open fire, her coat hanging on the back of her chair and a glass of red wine in front of her. She smiles as she sees me and gets to her feet.

      ‘You look frozen, you poor darling. Here, take my seat, it’s closer to the fire.’ She gets up and kisses me on the cheek, then shuffles round to the other side of the table and I gratefully take her seat. It’s only a short walk to the pub, but outside the weather is still below freezing, an icy wind cutting through to my bones.

      ‘It’s much warmer in here – I’m so glad we could get together. And I’m sorry about yesterday evening.’ She waves my apology away as I pick up the menu and quickly glance over it before opting for my usual jacket potato – it’s all I can keep down at the moment. While we wait for our food to come, I tell Lila about my morning, and how Jasmine Hale had accosted me in the playground.

      ‘She sounds like a perfect horror.’ Lila laughs, as I come to the end of my story. ‘Don’t worry, Steph, Henry is a delightful little boy. He’ll make friends. It just takes a while at that age. She sounds like she’s just a bit enthusiastic, that’s all.’

      I bask in the glow of her reassurance, relieved we seem to be back on track and that she hasn’t taken offence at my turning her down the previous evening. I realise Lila is talking to me, and I’ve missed what she’s saying.

      ‘I’m sorry, what was that? I was in my own little world for a moment.’

      ‘I said I was just like Henry as a little girl. Quite insular, not the most popular girl in the class. I was shy and really struggled to make friends, and my family wasn’t exactly the most … well, never mind. Look at me now – totally different.’ She takes a sip of her wine. ‘I have a lovely house, a gorgeous boyfriend and I’m having a glorious lunch with a good friend. Winning at life, don’t you think?’ She grins at me and chinks her glass against mine.

      ‘Speaking of which, how is Joe?’ Despite the close friendship we have developed, I am still yet to meet Joe. He’s rarely there, spending even less time at home than Mark if that’s possible, and when he is there, he seems to leave the house and return at odd times, meaning I haven’t quite managed to spot him yet. I’m guessing that Mark has met him, after Lila’s reference to her and Joe talking to him in the garden, but the man remains a mystery to me.

      ‘Oh, he’s fine.’ Lila waves her fork around airily. ‘Busy, busy. You know. He’s working hard, as usual. I told you he’s a photographer, right? He goes away on location for shoots, kind of like Mark. That’s why he’s not around much. You’ll meet him next time he’s back, I’ll make sure of it.’ Another thing we have in common, although I didn’t realise Joe was a photographer. The conversation moves on to our respective other halves and how easy it is to seem to go for days without seeing them, they are so busy. We finish lunch and I realise that, for the first time in a long time, I have enjoyed myself. I don’t feel sick; I’ve laughed until my stomach hurt at Lila and her witticisms; and it’s been lovely not to feel so anxious about everything, just for a brief time. It’s like how things used to be between me and Tessa, when she still lived close by, and I realise how much I’ve missed having a close girlfriend. We split the bill and Lila surprises me by telling me she is going to come with me to pick Henry up from school.

      ‘Are you sure? You don’t have to, you know.’

      ‘I’m coming.’ Lila’s voice is firm as she winds a colourful scarf around her neck. ‘I want to see Henry, and this afternoon has been so lovely, why shouldn’t we string it out a bit longer?’

      ‘Why not, indeed?’ Smiling, I link my arm though hers, and as she pushes her hair behind her ears I notice she is wearing a pair of beautiful tiny diamond studs.

      ‘Beautiful earrings; I have a pair just like them,’ I say, smiling at her as a faint blush rises to her cheeks. One thing I have noticed about my new friend is that she is not very good at accepting compliments, and blushes like a fiend every time she receives one. It’s sweet, really.

      ‘They were my mother’s,’ she says. ‘They’re the last thing she gave me before she died. Now, come on, let’s go and get Henry.’ Lila gives one of her tinkly laughs, and we stride out of the restaurant, down the hill towards the school.

      Henry is delighted to see that Lila has come with me to fetch him and shows off on his scooter, doing little bunny hops and jumping on and off the kerb while she claps her hands in delight. He takes her over to meet his teacher, who seems utterly charmed by her, just like everybody else, and I can’t help but feel a little bit of pride that this shiny, beautiful, dazzling creature has chosen me – dowdy, permanently sick, tired me – to be her friend. As we leave through the front gate, I point out Jasmine Hale to Lila, discreetly of course, but Jasmine spots me and jogs over.

      ‘Steph – lovely to see you.’ She air kisses my cheeks on both sides. ‘Have you had any more thoughts about what we talked about this morning?’

      ‘Sorry, Jasmine, I haven’t had a chance. Let me wait until Mark gets home. I might be able to help then?’ I cross my fingers inside my coat pocket that I have said the right thing.

      ‘Oh, of course, I forgot that your husband isn’t around. Such a shame. Well, we can maybe speak about it then, if you have time, of course.’ She smiles sweetly, before jogging lightly back to her friends, while I am left wondering whether she meant it, or if sarcasm laces her reply. Lila shrugs at me, and we walk out together, her arm tucked through mine.

      At the bottom of the hill, Henry waits outside the little convenience store, chocolate smeared across his mouth.

      ‘Henry,’ I scold, ‘I told you not to scoot down the hill without us!’

      ‘It’s OK, Mrs Gordon, I kept an eye on him.’ Mrs Spencer, the lollipop lady, appears next to me, lollipop in hand. ‘He said you were just coming – got carried away, I expect.’ She gives a little chuckle before returning to her post on the opposite side of the road.

      ‘Henry, come here.’ I crouch down to his level, meeting him face to face. ‘That was naughty – you must never scoot away like that again.’ Tears fill his eyes, making me feel awful, so I pull him in tight for a hug. ‘Don’t cry – it’s done now, but you must never do it again. What’s that around your mouth? Chocolate? Did Mrs Spencer give it to you? You shouldn’t really take sweets from people, baby, even if you know them.’

      ‘It wasn’t Mrs Spencer, Mummy.’ Henry’s tears are forgotten now, and he takes his scooter back from where Lila stands, holding the handlebars in one hand. He starts to scoot slowly ahead