Plays on the 5,6,7,8,9,10 people. Collection №4. Nikolay Lakutin

from the other side of the door.

      PHILIPP: (playing voice) My love! I'm here! Meet your baby bird soon!!! loud

      rhythmic music of a panicked nature is playing (the introduction to the "jester's Hymn" is recommended)

      Yulechka runs around the apartment in a panic, does not know what to grab. The man grabs his things from the chair, gestures and asks the girl where to go. After a short thought and panic throwing, Yulechka helps the man hide under the bed, he hardly fits under it. The girl covers the visible space with a blanket to the floor, gets better, goes to open the door.

      Philip enters the apartment beaming with joy with a bouquet of flowers, takes out the phone, throws off the call. The music stops abruptly.

      PHILIPP: (working tone) It's not working time, I'm still out.

      He puts the phone in his pocket, looks at the girl, and smiles.

      PHILIPP: (gently) Hello, my Bunny, how I missed you.

      Yulechka closes the door runs up to Philip and jumps on top of him with a squeal, wrapping her arms and legs around him. Philip can barely hold his ground.

      JULIA: (passionately kissing the neck, cheeks and nose) My love, you came, I did not prepare for nothing!

      Philip puts his arm around the girl, holds her by the waist, and Yulia goes down to the floor.

      PHILIPP: (gently) Really waiting for?

      JULIA: (very honestly, reverently) Very! PHILIP

      : (gently) But I'm supposed to be on a business trip right now, right? I decided things quickly and first of all to you, I wanted to make a surprise.

      JULIA: (gently, pressing his cheek to the man's shoulder) Filechka, my love, I'm waiting for you all the time. It doesn't matter where you are! In my heart you are always, you are always here (puts Philip's hand to his left breast). Feel that, honey? Do you feel how much love is placed in this fragile chest?

      PHILIPP: (embarrassed, bursting with compliments) It is not so you have too fragile…

      JULIA: It's an allegory, silly. I'm speaking figuratively. In General, the fewer words, look at this!

      The girl turns Philip to the center of the room and the man is presented with a romantic view, a ready, untouched table, two wine glasses, a bed spread out.

      Philip opens his mouth in surprise, wiping his lips with his fingers in anticipation and delight.

      JULIA: Everything for you, my love, everything for you!

      from UNDER the BED: (short, indignant): Ahem-ahem…

      Philip turns around, not UNDERSTANDING what it was just now.

      Yulia immediately begins to clear her throat, trying to make her voice as rough as possible.

      JULIA: I've been waiting for you so much, hoping so much, I couldn't say a word because of the experience of our separation, my voice sank completely. But this is nothing, the most important thing is that my (loudly, addressing under the bed) WOMEN'S FUNCTIONS ARE NOT OTRAFIROVALIS IN RELATION TO ONE MAN FROM THESE AWKWARD CIRCUMSTANCES!

      Philip hugs Julia gently, carefully stroking her on the back.

      PHILIPP: (gently, carefully) My girl, I had no idea that our separation was so painful for you. Do you really love me that much?

      YULECHKA: (recoiling, looking into her eyes) Are you still in doubt? Yes, I'm already pounding all over with emotions and separation! With you, I generally have every time as the first time. I didn't even know it happened.

      PHILIPP: (guiltily) I'm sorry, my girl, I blurted out without thinking. You're really shaking all over. Here, take the flowers, the ones you love.

      Philip gives the girl flowers, she shows that she was offended, but accepts the flowers, goes with them to the kitchen, dubbing Philip a biased look.

      Philip shakes his head guiltily, showing his disappointment in himself, and covers his mouth with his hand.

      Takes off his jacket and sits down at the table.

      PHILIPP: (loudly, sucking up) Yule? Really, how long have we been Dating?

      From somewhere behind the door jamb, Yulia's frightened face looks out.

      PHILIPP: (loudly, fawning) My love, we're probably already celebrating our anniversary! For…

      JULIA: (interrupts, doesn't let me finish) Five minutes you're already tearing my heart out! For five minutes, Pilecka, well, what does it matter now? Hold me quickly, can't you see how much I'm yearning? Enough words, run to the shower and get down to business, otherwise I'm just going to tear apart from the tension!

      Philip jumps up happily, grabs something from the table, shoves it into his mouth as he goes, and tries to unbutton his shirt in the process.

      JULIA: (moans, dripping sexy down the closet) Rather cute, rather!!!

      Philip excitedly grunts, gestures something to himself, runs off to the bathroom.

      The girl sees that he is gone, whispers in the direction of the bed, corresponding to the situation by changing the intonation.

      YULECHKA: (in a whisper, to her lover) You've got three minutes to get ready, come on, get laid!

      A man starts to get out from under the bed, a door slams from the bathroom, and Philip quickly returns to the room without his shirt. He smiles affectionately and flirts.

      The man fussily crawls back under the bed. Philip doesn't notice him.

      PHILIPP: Sorry, another bite, I'm so hungry, I just had a Cup of tea at work, and everything here is so delicious.

      He grabs something from the table and puts it in his mouth.

      Yulechka runs up to Philip, passionately stroking his back, scratching his stomach with her claws, moaning.

      JULIA: (very sexy) Yleaaaa, I can not, rather, in the shower, rather. Let's go there together, and we'll eat later…

      Yulechka drags Philip into the bathroom, and a man hastily, cautiously crawls out from under the bed, grabs his things, and leaves the apartment.

      ZTM.

      PHILIP'S HOUSE

      Yana is sitting in a chair, knitting something, listening to music in large headphones. She looks quite presentable, this is not a typical housewife. Makeup, manicure, hairstyle, high – heeled shoes, dress is not at home. She closes her eyes from time to time, listening to the musical motifs and getting great pleasure from them, dances, bringing out the rhythm with the movements of her head.

      The door opens and a grim-faced Philip enters. His wife doesn't see him, and he doesn't look at his wife. He takes off his jacket, hangs it on a hanger at the entrance, takes out his mobile phone, scrolls through something, puts the phone away with a dejected expression, and, taking a step towards the room, suddenly freezes in confusion, looking at his wife.

      His wife does not see him, she is interested in knitting and music.

      PHILIPP: (in doubt) Dear?

      The wife does not hear, only dances to herself and knits.

      PHILIPP: (loud) Yana?

      The wife starts in surprise, takes off her headphones, but continues knitting.

      YANA: (calmly, without emotion) what are you making noise about?.. What happened?

      PHILIPP: (thoughtfully) No, it's just… Are you waiting for someone? the

      Wife looks at her husband strangely, the husband looks at his wife strangely.

      YANA: (angrily) What's going on?

      : (jealously) Yes, nothing starts. It's just that the husband suddenly returns from a business trip, and the wife, you know, is sitting all dressed up, in heels, listening to music, knitting, getting high. How should I react to all this? (Shouts) What's going on in my house?

      YANA: (calmly) Hmm… so if the wife is sitting at home not as a chuvyrla, but as a woman, if she gets high, then she is already in fact to blame for something?

      PHILIP: