Taboo 2:. Yoshe

and climbed into the driver’s seat of her truck. Rasheed opened the back door and slid into the backseat, next to Messiah’s car seat. When he closed the door, he immediately removed the baby from the seat. Messiah was half asleep and sucking on a pacifier. His body jerked when his father pulled him out of the seat. Rasheed inspected Messiah carefully, with love in his eyes.

      Rasheed looked at Sierra while holding his son in his arms. He softened up a bit. “I’m gonna answer your questions once and for all, okay? Just let me get some time in with my baby boy.”

      Sierra rolled her eyes up in her head. “Yeah, okay,” she sarcastically replied.

      Rasheed looked at Sierra, and, for a split second, he thought about choking the hell out of her. But while holding the baby in his arms, nothing else mattered at that moment.

      With Messiah dozing in and out of sleep, Rasheed sighed. His paternal instincts kicked in and he yearned to experience more of those special moments with Messiah. This meant that he would have to clear the air with Sierra so that they wouldn’t have any more misunderstandings.

      “I’m gonna say this and I’m not gonna repeat myself. You know the reason I have an attitude is because, yes, I feel that you should be with me. We went through a lot to be with each other, and at the end of the day all I can say is, what was it all for? So the only way that you gonna get any type of reprieve from me is if we be together and make this right. We have a child and I just want me, you, and Messiah to be a family, Si. Is there somethin’ wrong with that?” Rasheed paused. “So don’t come at me with the ‘am I mad because you moved on’ shit! No, I’m mad because I can’t move on! Now does that answer your questions?”

      Sierra didn’t respond. Instead, she sighed loudly and turned around in the driver’s seat. She pulled out her cell phone and began talking to one of her girlfriends. Rasheed stared at her for a few moments, and then looked down at his beautiful baby boy.

      The smell of Baby Magic made Rasheed forget that he was upset with Sierra. Messiah had opened his eyes and stared at his father. Rasheed made a funny face and the baby began to giggle, spitting the pacifier out of his mouth. Messiah looked a lot like his mother, inheriting her dimples and slanted eyes. But everything else was him all the way, from the pointy nose to the lips and reddish-brown complexion. Messiah was a sight to behold. Rasheed knew at that moment that even at six months his son was going to definitely break some hearts.

      As Sierra yapped on the phone about nothing special, Rasheed sat in the backseat of her truck, growing angrier by the second.

      “Yo!” he shouted out. Sierra took the phone away from her ear and gave Rasheed the look of death. “Can I just have a peaceful moment with my son without hearin’ all that chitchat?”

      “Who are you talkin’ to?” she asked Rasheed. Sierra went back to her phone call. “Girl, look, I’m bein’ rudely interrupted. I will talk to you later,” she explained to the person on the phone. Sierra hung up the phone and put it in her bag. She then turned around to the backseat to face him.

      “What the hell is your problem, Rasheed? I would think that you would be happy that you’re holdin’ your son in your arms. But you over here all up in my business and actin’ like you want my undivided attention!”

      Rasheed kissed Messiah, carefully placing him back in the car seat. He then put the pacifier in the baby’s mouth, watching as Messiah happily kicked his thick legs. Suddenly, Rasheed reached over the front seat and grabbed Sierra by the neck. As she struggled to breathe, she attempted to remove his strong grasp, but to no avail.

      “Get the fuck off me!” Sierra uttered. He began to shake Sierra so hard while choking her that he didn’t realize that he was banging her head against the car window.

      “Who do you think you are?” Rasheed calmly stated. He pulled Sierra’s face close to his. “I’m tired of you disrespectin’ me, Correction Officer Howell. I’m tired of you actin’ like I had no part in makin’ Messiah, and I’m tired of you talkin’ down to me!”

      “Get off,” she whispered. Sierra’s face was turning red and Rasheed finally loosened his grip. He had blacked out. She instantly began coughing and rubbing her neck. Tears ran down her dimpled cheeks. “You fuckin’ bastard,” she muttered.

      While his parents were struggling with each other, Messiah was crying hysterically. As he attempted to calm the baby down, Rasheed instantly regretted putting his hands on Sierra. Being from the streets, he didn’t know any other way to settle his disputes.

      Messiah quieted down when Rasheed put a bottle in his mouth. “I think it’s time for me to get out of here,” Rasheed exclaimed, opening the back car door to get out of Sierra’s truck.

      The winter cold hit him in the face like a brick. He kissed his crying son, whose bottle fell out of his mouth, on the cheek. He felt like crying himself. Rasheed already knew that when he put his hands on Sierra, Messiah was going to be nothing but an afterthought in his confused mind.

      At this point, Sierra was hysterical. “I hate you, Rasheed Gordon! I regret the day I ever laid eyes on your ass!”

      “Is that right?” Rasheed chirped with a smug look on his face. “Well, I’ll never regret fuckin’ with you!”

      Suddenly, Sierra flew across the front seat and tried to punch Rasheed in the face. He would have thought that after getting choked she would have calmed down. But she didn’t. He was convinced that Sierra loved that type of drama.

      As she attempted to hit him again, he grabbed her small fists and pulled her to him. At that moment, Rasheed began kissing her. Straight out of a scene from the movies, Sierra allowed herself to succumb to passion, and reciprocated. Messiah instantly stopped crying and began smiling, as if he felt the love radiating from his parents.

      Rasheed got out of the truck and got into the passenger seat next to Sierra, where they continued their kiss. They were all over each other, massaging each other’s body parts. The interlude was so hot that the windows of Sierra’s X5 began to steam up. After a few moments, Sierra finally pulled away from Rasheed.

      “I can’t do this, Rah,” Sierra said, wiping the saliva from her lips.

      Rasheed put his hand in Sierra’s crotch area. He could almost feel the heat coming through her tight-fitting Citizens of Humanity jeans. He turned her face to his and began kissing her again.

      “Si, I apologize for puttin’ my hands on you. But I’m not gonna lie, I still love you. It’s killin’ me knowin’ that you and Lamont are happy, that you two are raisin’ my boy together and I can’t have that with you. I really want us to be with each other.”

      Sierra sighed. The tears began to flow again. “But, Rasheed, you know that I can’t be with you anymore. Our lives are goin’ in two different directions.”

      “But you want to be with me, don’t you?” Sierra looked away and wouldn’t answer him. He knew what that meant.

      Opening the door, Rasheed got out of the truck and stood there staring at Sierra for a few seconds before he spoke.

      “I love you and Messiah, but I can’t stand by and watch Lamont take my family away from me. So I’m gonna step back and just leave y’all alone for good.”

      “What are you talkin’ about, Rasheed? Don’t you wanna see Messiah anymore?”

      “I love my little man, but if me and you can’t be together, there’s no need for me to come around. I can’t continue to meet all these different places just so I can see my son. It doesn’t make any sense. This shit hurts too much.”

      Sierra started the engine. Rasheed could tell that she was irritated. He didn’t care about her feelings; he was just being honest with himself. What was wrong with him wanting to have a relationship with the mother of his child?

      “Close the door and lose my fuckin’ number!” Sierra yelled at him. “I can’t go through this shit with you anymore! Good-bye, Rasheed. Have a safe trip back to Atlanta!”