Take Her Man. Grace Octavia

find someone who sees our flyness. We deserve it.”

      I picked up my glass and joined the toast.

      “To my girls,” I said. “To my ride-or-die girls.” I drank the City Girl almost as quickly as my shot and shook my head as the liquid danced down my throat. Silence fell over the table. It was time for the dish—time for me to tell my girls what had happened.

      “I don’t know, y’all,” I managed to say before picking up my second drink. “I don’t know where this one went wrong.” I looked down into my glass, searching the pretty liquor for answers. “I don’t know why he dumped me.” I could hear myself crying. I was already drunk. “I just feel fucking pitiful. You know? Like, why am I not good enough?” I looked down at my lap and sighed. “I know that sounds stupid and ridiculous, but that’s how I feel. Like I’ve been loving this man and he could give a rat’s ass about my dumb ass. I feel stupid.”

      “Girl, fuck that feeling-stupid shit. We all go through that shit,” Tasha said, pouring me another shot. “Don’t think it’s just you. That’s just how it feels. It hurts. Just let it out. And let it go.”

      “Exactly,” Tamia said.

      “But I just feel like maybe I missed something or should’ve seen something or done something or maybe even—” I looked up at Tamia. She was looking directly past me toward the front of the restaurant. Her eyes were as wide as they could get and she hadn’t moved her drink from her open mouth.

      I tried to go on with my sad little speech.

      “I thought we’d be together forever. I thought he…” I looked at Tasha sitting on the other side of Tamia and she was looking past me, too. Her eyes also were as wide as soup spoons and I could tell that she was hitting Tamia beneath the table. I decided to turn around to the door to see what they were looking at.

      “No, that negro didn’t,” Tasha said.

      “Don’t turn around,” I heard Tamia say in slow motion as I turned to face the door and see what Tasha was talking about.

      It was Julian. My baby, my future husband, my ex-boyfriend was standing at the maître d’ stand. What the hell?

      “Grab her ass,” Tamia said. Tasha swung around to my side of the table like a superhero, sandwiching me between her and Tamia.

      “What are y’all doing?” I asked, trying to sound more confident than I really was. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was about to faint. “I saw Julian. It’s no big deal. I’ll go say hello. Remember, I have to show the Face of Grace.” I looked over at Tamia. She was looking toward the door. There was fear in her eyes. “Maybe he’s here with his grandmother. He usually hangs with her on Thursday night.” Even I didn’t believe what I was saying. Who takes their grandmother to Justin’s on Thursday night?

      “Is it her?” Tasha said to Tamia. “Is it that bitch?”

      “I can’t remember,” Tamia said.

      “Remember what?” I asked. I tried to stand up to see what Tasha and Tamia were talking about, but they were both holding me down.

      “You can’t see the girl behind him.” I felt like someone had just gutted me like a fish. Tamia looked intently into my eyes. “We think it’s Miata.”

      I turned from Tamia and looked back toward Julian at the door. He smiled at the maître d’ and signaled for a table for two. He put his arm back (the arm that used to hold me at night; the arm that I used to love) and pulled the trick he cheated on me with a month ago from behind him. I couldn’t believe it. He was with fucking Miata, at Justin’s, the night after our breakup! The night he was supposed to be with his sweet old grandma!

      I was about to go postal; rationality was leaving me; prison time was a possibility!

      “I’ll kill him,” I heard myself say just before I stabbed the table with a butter knife and stood up. The people around us looked and Tamia pulled me down so Julian couldn’t see me. I pulled away from her and fought to get up from behind the table. I didn’t know what I was about to do, but I knew where I was going, and I was still holding that butter knife. Clearly, I wasn’t going to kill anyone—that’s just dumb—but someone had to explain to me just what in the hell was going on. I’d almost escaped the table when Tasha and Tamia tackled me back to the chair.

      “Don’t embarrass yourself,” Tamia said, pulling me under the table with her. “Don’t embarrass yourself over that clown. Face of Grace. Face of Grace. Have the fucking Face of Grace.”

      “Fuck the Face of Grace, Tamia. My man is with another woman,” I cried.

      “No, Tamia’s right,” Tasha said, easing her legs under the table with a drink in her hand. She looked almost as mad as me. “You know I’m always ready to roll crazy with you, but he isn’t worth it. And neither is that hoe standing next to him. I won’t let you go out like that.” She swallowed everything that was left in the glass. “Now we have to get out of here silently so I’ll lead the way.”

      The City Girl Martini: A Must-Have for Any Breakup Party

      Mama said there would be days like this. The good and the bad. You can expect them, and you must accept them. Invite the ladies to join you for a sip and see who can get to the bottom of the glass first.

      Do’s:

       1. Drink out of a fancy glass.

       2. Flirt shamelessly as you sip.

       3. Have cool company to drink with.

      Don’ts:

       1. Think about anything other than having a good time.

       2. Have just one.

       3. Drive drunk, because that’s just dumb.

      Warning: Sipping these drinks might cause you to have a good time. Don’t serve to lame asses and people you don’t like.

      The City Girl Martini

      Ingredients:

      1 part cranberry vodka

      1 part orange liqueur

      1 part sloe gin

      1 splash sour mix

      1 splash apple-cranberry juice

      1 splash of orange juice

      Directions: Mix equal parts of liquors and a splash of each juice.

      The Plan

      “I can’t believe that motherfucker’s with that bitch,” Tasha said angrily. It was exactly what I was thinking, but at that point I was too upset to say a word. We were all sitting in Tamia’s car in front of Justin’s. Tasha had convinced the manager to open the kitchen exit so we could get out without walking past Miata and Julian. Though I wanted so badly to approach them, Tamia and Tasha convinced me that it would be a bad idea to confront them in the restaurant. After climbing out from under the table, I moonwalked the entire way to the kitchen, watching their every move. Julian slid his arms around her shoulders and pulled her head into his chest. He kissed her on the cheek and whispered something in her ear. It looked like he said, “Mrs. James.”

      With every moment that passed, as I maneuvered my way around each table, my heart broke a little bit more. I wanted to scream, jump on top of the bar, and demand that Julian come home with me. Not her. Not the girl named after a car.

      “Tasha, calm down. You’re only making things worse saying things like that,” Tamia said, looking at Tasha behind me in the backseat. “I knew it was a bad idea to come here. Are you okay, Troy?”

      “I can’t believe this. Why her? Why here?” I looked out of the passenger-side window and shook my head. “I don’t understand. One minute everything’s perfect, then he just dumps me. Now he’s here with her? This shit is crazy.”