Shadows of Belonging. Ron Rockey

himself and, hence, acts as a happy or sad, aggressive or meek, secure or anxiety ridden person depends, in part, on the messages he gets about himself in the womb.”

      •“The chief source of shaping those messages is the child’s mother. This does not mean that every fleeting worry, doubt or anxiety a woman has rebounds on her child. What matters are deep, persistent patterns of feeling. Chronic anxiety or a wrenching ambivalence about motherhood can leave a deep scar on an unborn child’s personality. On the other hand, such life-enhancing emotions as joy, elation and anticipation can contribute significantly to the emotional development of a healthy child.”

      •“New research is also beginning to focus on the father’s feelings. Until recently his emotions were disregarded. Our latest studies indicate that this view is dangerously wrong. They show that how a man feels about his wife and unborn child is one of the single most important factors in determining the success of a pregnancy.”

      Be assured that Dr. Verny has extensive experience and has done considerable research in preparing his writings. This has been his lifetime work. He states that in assembling his books, he visited, compared research and consulted with psychiatrists, psychologists, physiologists, fetologists, obstetricians and pediatricians in London, Paris, Salzburg, Berlin, Nice, Rome, Vienna, New York, Boston, San Francisco, New Orleans and Honolulu. Also, he conducted several research projects of his own and treated hundreds of patients affected by traumatic pregnancies or deliveries. His book is the product of six years of intensive study.

      According to a large team of expert neurologists and audiologists, Dr. Verny reports that:

      “ . . . there is hard, incontestable physiological evidence that the fetus is a hearing, sensing, feeling being and what happens to him, what happens to all of us in the nine months between conception and birth, molds and shapes personality, drives and ambitions in very important ways.” Ibid., page 15.

      Bonding

      What is bonding? In the late 1960’s, science discovered a post-birth experience of mother-child communication called bonding. According to this discovery, Mothers and Fathers bond and babies attach.

      Given what we know about the effects of diet, alcohol, tobacco and drugs, it seems to make sense that a mother’s thoughts and feelings would have a potentially beneficial or detrimental effect on her unborn child. Since a woman is almost always positively or negatively connected emotionally to the man who impregnated her, it is reasonable that their relationship would affect her thoughts and feelings and, thus would impact the developing child in her womb. Studies that back this discovery are from laboratories around the globe. Many scientists and authors agree that the period of time in the womb impacts a child throughout life and is most affected by the relationship between the pregnant mother and the man who impregnated her during that gestational period.

      Add to this, the birthing experience of the baby. The French obstetrician Frederick Leboyer, author of the book Birth Without Violence, argues for gentler birthing methods, and his works have instigated similar methods around the world. Science tells us that traumatic births, with lengthy labors, fetal distress, the use of forceps or suction cups to aid delivery, and even the attitude of the physician who delivers the child, all have an influence on the amount of distress experienced by the baby.

      According to Dr. Verny, it is important that the child benefits by a warm, humane and reassuring environment after birth because he is aware of how he is born. The unborn child’s mind is conscious and aware, but not as deeply complex as an adult’s. He is not capable of understanding the shades of meaning that an adult can put into a simple word or gesture but is sensitive to remarkably subtle emotional nuances. He can react to such uncomplicated emotions as love and hate, and also to more “shaded complex feeling states like ambivalence and ambiguity.” The Secret Life of the Unborn Child, pages 18 and 19.

      In one study performed by Dr. Michael Lieberman, it was shown that

      “an unborn child grows emotionally agitated (as measured by the quickening of his heartbeat) each time his mother thinks about having a cigarette. She doesn’t even have to put it to her lips or light a match.” Ibid., page 20.

      Another interesting ability learned from our mothers while we are in the womb is our pattern of speech. It comes from our mother and is as distinct as our fingerprints. Dr. Henry Truby, Professor of Pediatrics, Linguistics and Anthropology at the University of Miami, has determined that the fetus hears clearly from the sixth month of pregnancy onward and moves his body rhythm to his mother’s speech. A mother who speaks soft and soothing words to her unborn child makes him feel loved and wanted not because he understands the words, but because he is mature enough to understand the emotional tone of the maternal voice.

      The fetus also responds to music. Put Vivaldi’s compositions on, and the baby relaxes. Put Beethoven on, and even the calmest child starts kicking and moving. Boris Brott, Conductor of the Hamilton, Ontario Philharmonic Symphony explained that even at a very young age, he could conduct some musical scores, and the cello part stood out to him. These were the very scores that his mother, a professional cellist, reports she was practicing while pregnant with him.

      It is important to understand that the experiences in adolescence and adulthood affect us quite differently than experiences in the womb. An adolescent or adult has had time to develop defenses and responses and can soften or deflect the impact of an experience. A fetus, on the other hand, is affected directly.

      “That’s why maternal emotions etch themselves so deeply on his psyche and why their tug remains so powerful later in life. Major personality characteristics seldom change. If optimism is engraved on the mind of an unborn child it will take a great deal of adversity later to erase it. Where our new knowledge can legitimately make a difference is in helping to identify and prevent the roots of serious personality problems.” Ibid., page 25.

      Scientist’s recent research has shown that the more active children are in the womb the more anxious they will be after birth. They will be the most comfortable, most relaxed and least anxious when they are alone. In adulthood these anxious ones will prefer aloneness, avoiding spouses, their own children and even friends, or be attracted to others who provide the gentle acceptance they needed in the womb. The unborn child has to feel loved and wanted more intensely than adults do. He has to be talked to and thought of, lest his spirit and often his body start wilting. Studies of schizophrenic and psychotic women show conclusively that their offspring have far more devastating physical and emotional effects. Time Magazine’s October, 2010 article reports further:

      “Studies have suggested that women who are pregnant during historical periods of stress or famine give birth to offspring who are more likely than those born in calmer times to develop schizophrenia in young adulthood. Maternal malnutrition may disrupt neural development, contributing to the illness.”

      Regarding depression, the article states: “Research has found increased rates of premature delivery and low birth weight among babies born to depressed women. Scientists are also discovering possible links between a mother’s mood and a fetus’s sensitivity to stress, and perhaps even the temperament it exhibits after birth.”

      Prenatal communication between mother and child is as important as the bonding communication after birth. A child’s world is totally and completely his mother – he sees, hears, feels and experiences through her. He is lulled to sleep by her steady heartbeat, and she is a major component of his security after birth as well.

      Vitally important is what a mother thinks about her child – it makes an important difference. Dr. Dennis Stott considers this to be crucial. As reported in The Secret Life of the Unborn Child, he “rates a bad marriage or relationship as among the greatest causes of emotional and physical damage in the womb.” In a study done with over 1,300 children and their families, he estimates that a woman locked into a stormy marriage runs a 237 percent risk of bearing a psychologically or physically damaged child than a woman in a secure, nurturing relationship. His study found that unhappy marriages produced babies who were five times more fearful and jumpy than the offspring of happy relationships. These babies continued to be plagued by problems well into childhood. At four or five,