Naked Ambition. Dan Roberts

warm in the guest room of the Baker home. Now, with his mind clearer, his eyes darted toward the glowing numbers of the digital clock on the nearby nightstand. It was 3:19 am.

      Nick felt the bed sheet beneath him. It was damp. So was his skin. More specifically, it was moist and clammy. It felt as if he had just gotten out of a steam bath. That, he thought, was due to the heat of this summer night. It was way too hot not to have air conditioning. Unfortunately, there was no A/C at the Baker home that night due to the central unit having broken down earlier in the day. That’s why, just before turning out the lights, Nick had switched on the fan that Mr. Baker had brought him. The fan, positioned in front of the open bedroom window, was somewhat of a joke since all it did was blow more hot air into a room that was already horribly stuffy and close. Usually by this time in the morning, Nick, who preferred sleeping naked, would have had, at least, a sheet on top of him, covering him for a bit of warmth. But not this morning, not with the room being so oppressively hot. So, that was how he awoke—naked, hot and perspiring.

      In this mostly awake state, Nick recalled the last evening. He remembered being very tired—actually, exhausted—from a day of doing the work of a landscape laborer and an evening of teaching at the volleyball camp. He had been both physically drained and emotionally fatigued when he got into bed around 11:00 pm. His body wanted so much to shut down and rest. But, even though Nick closed his eyes, sleep evaded him. The problem was that he couldn’t turn off his mind.

      A host of thoughts popped up, each one bringing a myriad of questions that needed answers. There were thoughts about the new school year that would be starting in a few weeks: the expense of it and how would he pay for it. And, of course, he wondered if he could make the grades needed to stay there. Then there were the thoughts about the Sylvan Acres’ “Summer Shakedown,” a local volleyball competition coming up in a little over a week. Who was coming? Who would he team up with? Would his team take the championship again? Then there was Black Oak’s ‘Super Volley Bowl’ which would be coming up soon. SVB was the mother of all volleyball competitions, one that he had been gearing up for all year. Logistics, travel plans, food supplies—the list went on as he mulled it all over in his head. However, most of his sleepless time had been focused on Coach Clarkson: finding out the truth about him and why he was so friendly with Jack. The latter was his main focus and concern, one that kept his mind occupied for what seemed like hours. Finally, sometime past midnight—and after a lot of tossing and turning—Nick’s mind gave itself over to sleep. That’s when the ‘something’ happened.

      Now, as Nick lay in the dark, his bank of memories began to open. He knew what that ‘something’ was. More than a dream, it was a nightmare; one that he had experienced several times before. But not recently, thank god. In fact, it had been almost a year since this nightmare had last interrupted his sleep.

      The scenario was almost always the same. Nick is lying on his back as if he is floating on a cloud. A hand, attached to a vague, ghost-like figure, slowly approaches him with fingers flared. The hand hovers over him, emitting a warm glow that is inviting. Then, at the most intense part, the hand finally touches him. The touch is both pleasing and disturbing. It is a touch that eventually causes Nick to gasp with delight. That’s when he would awaken, feeling defiled and dirty. And confused. And that’s how he felt now.

      With his eyes wide open, Nick knew that sleep was not in the near future. So, using the light coming in from the street lamp, he got up, put on his boxer shorts and, trying hard not to make any noise, walked to the Baker’s kitchen. Once there, Nick turned on the light over the breakfast bar and made his way to the refrigerator. Within minutes, he had poured himself a glass of milk and was eating some chocolate chip cookies pulled from a nearby jar.

      “Hungry, huh?” That was the voice that came from across the darkened room, from a sleepy Zach Baker.

      Nick jumped at the sound. “Damn, boy” he said, “you frickin’ scared me!” Then, with a grin, he held up a cookie and said, “Want one?”

      “Just some O.J.,” said Nick’s tousled-haired friend as he opened the refrigerator door.

      Once the juice was poured, Zach walked to the breakfast bar and sat across from Nick who was now on his third cookie. After a long yawn, Zach said, “So, you couldn’t sleep either?”

      “Naw. Too much to think about.”

      “Clarkson?” asked Zach.

      “Yeah. Can’t get him out of my mind.”

      “Dude, if this thing is too much for you…”

      “It’s cool. No problem. Just thinking, that’s all.”

      “Thinking about what?”

      “Thinking how fucked up these guys are who do this kind of stuff. You know, screwing around with kids.”

      “Yeah,” said Zach, “shit like that can really mess a boy up.”

      Nick immediately looked off into the darkness of the room. Then, softly, he said, “Yeah. Believe me, I know.”

      Zach picked up on Nick’s last sentence. “What do you mean by that?”

      Nick dropped his head for a moment and then, looking back up at his best friend, said, “I’ve never told anyone this but…but I know what it is to be messed with.”

      Zach’s face reflected shock, as did his one word response. “Damn!”

      A momentary silence followed Nick’s revelation. For a few seconds there was no eye contact between the two young men. That changed when Nick began to speak.

      “I was twelve years old. It was in the summer. Mom was going to an artist workshop for the weekend, and my brother was on a camping trip, so I was supposed to stay with my grandmother. But she got sick. So my mom asked a neighbor if I could stay with them for a couple of days.”

      Over the next several minutes, Nick shared with Zach the story of a night that will stay in his memory for the rest of his life. He told of being excited about going to spend time with the DeBlasio family, especially their sixteen-year-old son, Tony, who Nick looked up to.

      “He was a cool dude. And a really good athlete. Played several sports, including volleyball. He was on my brother’s high school team. And he really took an interest in me. Treated me like a little brother.” As he remembered that part, Nick said, “In fact, he treated me better than my own brother did.”

      Nick then spoke of how Tony’s parents were out late at a party one night. That left Nick and Tony alone at the house. Unknown to Nick, Tony had asked a friend of his to stop by.

      “Tony had put on a movie for me and said he and this guy were going outside to talk. After awhile I smelled something strange.”

      There was a bit of a smile on Nick’s face when he said, “I remember going outside and seeing Tony and his friend smoking pot. By that time they were giggling and laughing a lot. Both were really fucked up. When they tried to send me back inside, but I told Tony I would tell his parents unless he let me take a few puffs. It was my first time. Damn, that was powerful stuff!”

      Nick went on to tell Zach of how he got so buzzed that he ended up lying on the lawn in the backyard. “I remember looking up at the sky and seeing the stars swirling around. And around. And around.” He chuckled at this point as he said, “I started getting like woozy. I thought I was going to get sick.”

      Nick, looking at Zach, saw that his friend was following the story with interest. “At that point, I closed my eyes and just laid back. It was a hot night so I just had some shorts on. Nothing else. I was feeling so nice, like, warm and mellowed out. You know? Just floatin’ along. And I remember this feeling. It was like I was feeling something wonderful, yet weird, happening to my body. It was like somebody was touching me and then… then it become more like, well, sorta like someone fooling around with me. You know, real personal like.”

      “You mean like foolin’ around with your…”

      As if lashing out at Zach, Nick broke