Cougar of Spirit Lake. Linnette MDiv Eller

and the worried expressions, but he knew that there was really nothing he could say to them right now to ease their worry. Anything he could tell them would probably worry them a great deal more. He would be glad to leave this house, a surprising thought to him since it held such precious memories of Lilly!

      Jessica spent a restless night. She could tell from the rustle of the quilts out in the hall that Tommy was as well. He had mentioned moving back downstairs but Papa told him he would appreciate him sleeping near Jessie’s door after the news they’d had.

      Thomas arrived bright and early the next morning to take Jessica and the boys to town with him to have some sturdy shoes made for their upcoming journey. Although they were taking the huge Conestoga wagons there would still be a great deal of walking to be done. Thomas was a big man. He clearly showed his Nordic heritage in his blonde hair and blue eyes, and as many a girl had noted was a very handsome man indeed!

      Having exceptionally wide feet, in addition to relatively large ones, he had been coming to have his boots made special since he was fifteen years old. He had three more pairs of them made up since he didn't know whether he would find anyone on the trek West, or when they arrived at their destination, that could make boots as well as he could have made here. Jessica and the boys had been fitted and sized a week ago and Thomas had placed his order the day after he had talked to Jessica about the wagon train. His would be done and theirs should be done in plenty of time. They had only three weeks left now! Thomas breathed a sigh of relief over that.

      Thomas had felt uneasy ever since the Constable had stopped by yesterday at his folk's farm to tell them of Carrie Carpenter. Not, of course, that he had any reason to feel uneasy. There was no way for the man to have any way of knowing who killed the stupid little halfwit. He had even admitted that! No, it would just be better to be gone from this place and he wished it was tomorrow not three weeks from now! Thomas realized that Jessica had been saying something to him and turned to look at her. Damn but she was a beauty and soon, very soon, she would be his. Now he turned his full attention on her and asked her what she had said.

      “I knew you hadn't heard one word I have been saying to you about Papa!” Jessica said, feeling more than a little irritation that he was not paying attention to her important news.

      “I'm sorry, Jess, I just have a lot on my mind with this move coming.”

      “Oh, I know that, but this is important, Thomas. What I was saying is that Papa is right as rain! Yes! I just can't believe it! Yesterday he came into the kitchen and was just like his old self. I still have a hard time believing it, but it is true! The boys and I were never so happy!”

      “Just like that he came around, Jess?”

      “Yes, just like that!”

      “Hmmm. Strange isn't it?” He asked, not liking this news at all!

      “Thomas if I didn't know better I would think that you weren't a bit happy about it!”

      “Aw, no, that isn't it at all. I just find it strange that it just happened so sudden after all of these months. Did something happen to bring it on?”

      “No. I told you, I can't explain it myself, it just happened! Why, just a few hours before that I had been in the bedroom trying to ask him if he had any way for us to buy some provisions for this trip! I told him it would be just the bare necessities, nothing extra at all, but now that we hadn't paid any of our accounts in town for so long we couldn't put anything else on credit.”

      “YOU DID WHAT?” Thomas exploded at her.

      Jessica jumped in her seat when he turned on her and yelled. “Thomas, whatever is wrong with you?” Jessica couldn't believe he had yelled at her like that, no, not yelled, bellowed at her. What on earth could be wrong with him this morning?

      “Uh, oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to holler at you like that. It’s just, well, uh, it’s just that when a man has been in the condition your Papa has been in its sort of ill advised to be talking to him about what he's let happen to his affairs. See what I mean? That's all! I just think that talk like that would just do more to upset him. No, Jess, I don't think you should be talking to him about these things, I mean, I can handle everything, and you don’t need to worry about everything so much. Just leave all this to me!”

      “But Thomas this is our problem not yours! I can't let you take care of us, besides, Papa can do that now. He was always a good manager and Mama used to remark about that quite often!”

      “Well, for now Jess, I think you should just let me handle it! When John gets back on his feet entirely, that's fine. Why, he probably can't even remember what he has done these past months. After all he has been right near crazy.”

      “Thomas, don't you ever, and I do mean EVER say that about my Papa again, do you hear!” she ground out, green fire flashing from her eyes, showing the fury surging through her veins.

      He didn’t like the tone she was taking with him and damned sure didn’t like being hollered at, but now was not the time to teach her what doing that could mean so he tried to mollify her instead. “Oh, come on Jess, don't get so riled up! I didn't mean to make you mad, but half the country has known that he's been anything but sane these past months, even you know it if you would just admit it!”

      “Let’s just not talk about any of this anymore.” She said, trying to quell her anger and lighten the mood. “It’s our first really nice morning in months, why it’s almost warm, so let’s just enjoy the ride!”

      Thomas cast a sharp look at her. He didn't much like being told what to do, but he guessed that this wasn't the time to say much to Jess about that either. He damned well had enough to think about anyway. So...old John had suddenly gotten well had he? Thomas just hoped that he wasn't going to have any problems about John. Oh hell, if anything came about with John he could handle it. Nothing else mattered as long as he got Jess out of all of this damned mess.

      The rest of the trip was spent mostly in silence. Everyone trying to enjoy the morning it seemed. Tommy and Jessica exchanged some small talk about the wagon Papa was getting ready, but other than that it was a quiet trip.

      Jessica was in a pensive mood on the return trip, which did not make Thomas happy in the least. She was upset about what Thomas had said, more directly, the cold blooded way in which he had said it. A caring person would not think of having said such a thing about one's father. At least not if one had feelings! Yet that was not the only thing that had disturbed her. She could feel in Thomas the need to totally dominate her in all matters. Many marriages were exactly this way, certainly it was not unusual. Her parents had more of a partnership and deep mutual respect for the opinion of the other. She truly felt this would not be the case with Thomas. His word would have to be law. They had not rushed into anything but she suddenly felt rushed by Thomas.

      Thank God, that Papa was back, she thought, only to realize that she had to make this decision herself, not Papa. She didn't need Papa to tell her what to do like a child any longer. He could protect her when she did make her decision if it wasn't to Thomas' liking, however. Suddenly she realized what she was thinking. Was she afraid of Thomas? Oh, surely not! Still, she had felt the need to be protected from Thomas for some reason. It was as though she had glimpsed something in Thomas on the ride into town that she had not been aware of before. Like viewing a stranger. This needed some long hard thought she realized. Much thought and the long journey on the wagon train should the ideal time to do such thinking, and a great deal of observation.

      CHAPTER SIX

      “Cougar, what is it you do when you go from here for long periods of time?” Winter Woman had finally asked her son. It was a thing she had wondered if he was ever going to share with her. She knew without knowing, that he went to the white settlements, sometimes it must be even farther due to the length of his absence.

      “I travel to many places Mother, mostly to the white settlements. Then, there have been other times I have gone to two of the Forts. You have not asked me this before when I know that you have had a great deal of curiosity about my absences. I do not discuss where I travel with the men in the village. I do