Your Life. Bruce McArthur

that you do not recognize it at all on the conscious level, so you strongly reject the idea that you have that failing. But it can still be there. Many readings pointed out to individuals who were complaining about others: “Know that the fault you find in others is a reflection of a fault in yourself.” (1688-9)P

      This reflective action of the law “like begets like” is sometimes referred to as the mirror principle.

THERE IS A BETTER WAY

      The reflective nature of “like begets like” tells us that when you judge another, the only person you are being judgmental of is yourself. There is a better way as suggested in this reading: “… you cast judgments upon others. By whose standard are you measuring your brother? By God’s love for you?” (3660-1)AR

      The individual who received that reading was obviously measuring others by his own standard and not by God’s love for him. God’s standard eliminates judging and faultfinding; there is no “guilty” or “not guilty” involved in love. When we truly love, we do not judge. We accept others just as they are. If we can do that, we have no need to judge. More wonderful is the fact that others then accept us just as we are—without judgment, for “like begets like.”

      A first step in accepting others without judgment is to stop judging ourselves. We need only apply the standard set out in the above reading: “God’s love for you.” Know that God loves you and accepts you just as you are. Therefore, it’s O.K. to love yourself just as you are. To love yourself is to help eliminate the guilt and fear that pushes you to judge yourself and others. The acceptance of God’s unconditional love as your standard is, therefore, a wonderfully freeing experience.¹⁴

      Jesus well knew and understood the fundamental laws of our beings. He knew that the faults we see in others are our own faults and that we hide this fact from ourselves. He spoke of it graphically:

      Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye, with never a thought for the great plank in your own? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when all the time there is that plank in your own? You hypocrite! First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s.¹⁵

      I have found that getting the plank out of my own eye is not easy, but it can be done. When something that someone is doing is disturbing or upsetting me, I write down as clearly as I can what is affecting me, what it is that I don’t like about that individual or what he or she is doing. I am usually absolutely sure that I am in no way like that or doing that. But since I know that “like begets like,” I know it must be there somewhere, so I sit down and carefully examine all phases of my life to see where it is. If I am truly honest with myself, I find it.

      Tom, a co-worker of mine, seemed to completely ignore my ideas. When I needed something for my project, he did nothing about it until I really pressured him. This irritated me. I, of course, was certain that I was never like Tom, that I was very considerate of others and always promptly responded to their needs! However, in desperation one day, after he ignored an urgent request of mine and after I reminded myself that like does beget like, I sat down to seriously analyze why I had to put up with the situation. After considerable time and effort, I was still completely baffled and was ready to give up. Finally the thought suddenly came to me that I should do something about the washing machine which my wife had been telling me for two months was not working properly. Then it hit me! I had been doing to her exactly what Tom was doing to me. I had been completely ignoring her ideas and her needs for her projects. “Like begets like!” That washing machine got fixed fast!

      I wish I could report that the next day Tom happily cooperated on my project. He didn’t. It took months of my working on my relationships with others—not only with my wife—and their needs until I truly began to really care and listen and try to help others. Over this period of time Tom’s attitude toward me changed gradually, but I knew I had finally made it when one day he came in and asked, “What can I help you with today?” This example illustrates the following facts:

      1. I can never change the attitude I dislike in another person unless I change myself.

      2. This is so because “like begets like”; therefore, life mirrors back to me what I am like.

      3. So if I do not like what I see, I must change. When I do, what I see will change.

      4. But when I change myself, that person will seem to change (because I see only my reflection)!

      5. Be careful now, for I do not change the other person. He or she does not make any change. The person may still have the same characteristic which I disliked. But since I have changed, I am different from what I was before.

      6. Therefore, I no longer beget the same result from that individual, or no longer see it, or no longer react to it. To me, therefore, that person is different—a changed individual.

      7. But the other person is only a mirror for me. What I am really seeing in him or her as change is the change I have made in myself!

USING “LIKE BEGETS LIKE” TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

      Our relationships with others give us great opportunities for utilizing this law and the above-listed concepts in life-changing ways. You can make your life much happier. For example, regarding the marriage situation and the temptation to judge and find fault with our spouse, the readings offer excellent advice:

      … the peculiarities, the oddities, the errors are to be minimized, not dwelt upon and increased! Minimize rather than crystallize or magnify any faults in the other. Know that your associations are to be on a fifty-fifty basis, not forty-sixty nor twenty-eighty but fifty-fifty! and that you must adjust yourselves to each other’s idiosyncrasies or peculiarities. (1722-1)AR

      To me that is a classic statement for the application of the law “like begets like” in the finest way to any marriage or close relationship. Try it. The results will amaze you.

      The following reading gives another clue as to how to overcome our negative attitudes toward others and thereby apply “like begets like” in a higher way:

      Quit finding fault with others and others will quit finding fault with you … And let this be a new experience for you—to recognize the abilities as well as the faults. (3544-1)

      This suggests a shift in focus—for a very good reason. We know that nature abhors a vacuum. It is not enough to stop a bad habit. Better to substitute a positive and constructive act or thought to take its place. For example, when I was working as an engineer, a supervisor seemed to check up on my work more often than necessary and that irritated me. When I recognized my reaction, I realized that I could choose a different one. So I chose to use his checkups as opportunities to clarify any questions I had about the project. This gave me an entirely different feel about his visits, for I then saw them as a help to me. I was surprised to find I began to look forward to his coming. We eventually became good friends.

      Anyone can find fault. The wise person finds ways to encourage others in the turmoils and problems of life. A smile, a word of praise, a hope, a sharing of an uplifting thought, or a bit of humor are great alternatives to faultfinding. By use of these suggestions, instead of finding fault we then apply “like begets like” in a totally different way and create rewarding results in our lives.

      When we are tempted to find fault, we can consider this concept from the readings: Every one of us has a place. Like trees, we come in a great variety, but we each have our place. The other person may be a pine and you may be an oak. Therefore, you can’t expect that one to be or act like an oak, like you. People are different—God bless them. Let each do it his or her way, you do it your way!

      In view of the operation of “like begets like,” our ideal should be to see the good in others and not judge them or find fault with them. We have an ancient precedent for that view in Jesus’ statement, “Love your enemies and pray for your persecutors.” (Matthew 5:44) Doing this, we emulate the Creator “who makes his sun rise on the good and bad alike, and sends the rain on the honest and