Feeding with Love and Good Sense:18 Months through 6 Years. Ellyn Satter

considering family meals puts you on a guilt trip and makes you feel overwhelmed, skip ahead to Have family-friendly meals. Especially read the section, “prepare food you enjoy.” Here is the bottom line: Family meals are first and foremost about family. They are not about food virtue: about providing only fresh-cooked food that earns a gold star from the food police.

       Meals give a time and place to provide your child with food and reassure her she will be fed. You can pay attention and enjoy food when it is time to eat, then forget about it between times.

       Meals let you conduct the business of the family, keep up with what is going on with everybody, help each other out, and tell family stories.

       Meals teach your child how to behave at mealtime. That lets you enjoy her, and lets her be comfortable when she eats with other people.

       Both you and your child eat better when you have family meals. You learn to enjoy a variety of food. Going to the meal hungry and eating until you get enough supports eating the amount you need and weighing what is right for you.

       Children and teens who have regular family meals feel better about themselves, get along better with other people, and do better in school. Teens who have family meals are less likely to abuse drugs and have sex.

       Meals are about family

      You are a family when you take care of yourself. Whether your family numbers one or ten, whether you are related or a group of people living together, have family meals.

       Sit-down snacks solve feeding problems

      Planned, sit-down snacks are the ace in the hole of the beleaguered parent. When you know a sit-down snack is coming up in a couple of hours, you can say, “that’s it for now, snack time is coming soon.” You can say to your school-aged child, “snack time is now. Sit down and eat now, or you have to wait for dinner.” The planned snack solves these feeding problems:

       Your child leaves the meal having eaten little or nothing. He is back 5 minutes later begging for food.

       Your child has eaten well at the meal, but happens to think, “cookie,” and starts begging.

       Your child did not eat much and seems okay with that, but you worry that he will not make it until the next meal.

       Your child comes home famished, is too busy to take time to eat, and wants to munch along with other activities.

       Your child eats constantly until dinner, in front of the TV or while doing homework.

3. Understand your child’s development

      Being able to recognize and understand your child’s stages in development lets you trust and enjoy her and parent in the best way. From 18 months through 6 years, she moves through being a toddler and then a preschooler and becomes an early school-age child. To identify her developmental stage, go by the description rather than her age.

       Toddler: 18 months to 3 years