Writing the Comedy Blockbuster. Keith Giglio

Develop the Theme

       Upping the Stakes

       The Jolt

       Comic Exercise: The Soundtrack

       CHAPTER TEN

       COMIC SEQUENCE (F)

       WHAT WAS I THINKING? A.K.A. YES, I’M A LIAR BUT

       A Final Push

       Good Times Never Last

       Expose the Character’s Weakness

       The Calm Before the Storm

       End of Act Two: Bad Things Happen

       OTHER WAYS TO END ACT TWO

       CHAPTER ELEVEN

       ACT THREE

       COMIC SEQUENCE (G)

       TIME TO GROW UP A.K.A. WHY ARE ASHTON AND NATALIE SO SAD EVEN THOUGH THEY SAID NO STRINGS ATTACHED?

       SO WHAT IS ACT THREE?

       WHAT ELSE SHOULD HAPPEN IN MY ACT THREE?

       Singing the Blues

       Who Am I?

       Help from the Mentor

       The Last Great Decision

       CHAPTER TWELVE

       COMIC SEQUENCE (H)

       THE NEW ME A.K.A. WHY BEN STILLER, JIM CARREY, HUGH GRANT, NATALIE PORTMAN ARE RUNNING AT THE END OF THE MOVIE

       The Battle

       Convergence

       Sacrifice

       Resurrection

       Epiphany

       The Final Race

       The New Me

       TAKE A BREATH AT THE END

       A WORD ABOUT SATISFYING ENDINGS

       CHAPTER THIRTEEN

       WRITING THE SCREENPLAY

       Writing the Screenplay

       TURNING THE SCRIPTMENT INTO THE SCRIPT

       WHY DO SCREENPLAYS FAIL?

       THE WRITING BEGINS

       Some Words about Dialogue

       TRUST THE WORK YOU HAVE DONE

       HOW DO I KNOW WHEN IT’S DONE?

       The Business of Writing

       FUNNY IS MONEY

       FILMOGRAPHY

       ABOUT THE AUTHOR

      DEDICATION AND THANK YOUS

      Thanks to the Breckmans — to Dave, for friendship and many years of laughter and joy away from Staten Island; and to Andy — for showing me the yellow brick road and for pointing me in the direction of Oz.

      Thanks to Dr. Linda Venis and everyone else (then and now) at UCLA Extension for giving me the opportunity to develop the class that became this book.

      Thanks to my family (Mom, Dad, Aunt Ella, and my brother and sister, inlaws, outlaws, and all the rest) for putting up with my foolishness.

      And special thanks to my Giglio Girls — my daughters, Sabrina and Ava, for laughing at my good jokes, not laughing at the bad ones, and for having such great senses of humor — an amazing feat considering one quarter of your ancestry. I fully expect a “Thank You” note from the two of you for earning a mention in the dedication.

      To Juliet, for laughing with me, and for making me laugh and making me smile even when you’re yelling at me for something I stupidly said, did, or was thinking of doing. I’m very happy you married this fool.

      INTRODUCTION

      BY ANDY BRECKMAN

      Andy Breckman is a television and film writer and a radio personality. He is the co-creator and executive producer of the Emmy Award-winning television series Monk on the USA Network, and is co-host of WFMU radio’s long-running conceptual comedy program Seven Second Delay. He has written screenplays for a number of comedy films including Sgt. Bilko and Rat Race and is frequently hired as a “script doctor” to inject humorous content into scripts written by other screenwriters. He has worked on Saturday Night Live and Late Night with David Letterman.

      Let me tell you about my first day in Hollywood.

      I had flown to Los Angeles to pitch some movie ideas. I had worked on some TV shows back in New York, but this trip was my first time trying to sell to a major studio. I pulled up to the main gate at Universal Studios. The guard handed me my drive-on pass, and waved me through. My movie geek heart was pounding! I’d been watching — absorbing — movies since I was a kid. All I ever wanted to do was make movies.

      Write movies.

      That was the dream.

      There was a truck in front of me. It stopped. Some workers started loading movie scripts onto the back. They must have been cleaning out a warehouse or something. There were thousands — tens of thousands — of scripts piled up in cardboard cartons. I could see their titles — in bright magic markers — handwritten on the spines. Some — I suppose — were movies that had been produced. But most were scripts that had never been made, and never would be made. A truckload of broken dreams.

      My heart sank. I felt humbled and intimidated. I suddenly saw what I was up against. In one horrific moment, I understood the odds against me. Each of those scripts had been written by professional screenwriters, right? How could I possibly compete with all of them? Why should I even try?

      I pulled over. I was shaking. I wanted to go home.

      Since you’re reading this, I assume that you have the same dream. Here’s my guarantee: You will soon be tested. It will feel like the whole town — the whole industry — is conspiring, in a nutty Oliver Stone sort of way, to break your virgin heart. To discourage you. To send you home. You’re going to feel like the guy in that Gladys Knight & the Pips song, “Midnight Train To Georgia.” I tear up every time I hear it. “L.A. proved too much for the man…”

      Here’s my advice: DO NOT GET ON THAT MIDNIGHT TRAIN. If Gladys Knight calls, hang up! Avoid the Pips altogether. Persevere. Wait tables. Drive limos. Take improv classes. Work for free on the set of your roommate’s Godawful indie film.

      Don’t give up. Keep your eyes open. Be prepared to be lucky.

      And learn your craft. That’s where this book comes in.

      As Professor Giglio says… sorry, it feels weird calling him “Professor” — I’ve known him since he was a kid.

      As Mr. Giglio says… no, that doesn’t feel right either.

      As Keith says… this book won’t write your script for you. Only you can provide the Divine Spark. Think of this text as an instruction booklet