A Smart Girl's Guide: Knowing What to Say. Patti Kelley Criswell

      Adults can be intimidating, but it’s simple to make small talk if you really

      listen to what the adult is asking. Then add to the conversation with a bit

      more information or by asking a question.

      If the uncle you haven’t seen since you were a little kid asks,

      “What have you been doing for fun lately?”

      Instead of this: “Not much.”

      Say this:

      I joined a travel soccer team—

      that’s been fun. Mom said you went to Spain.

      What was that like?

      If your great-aunt says, “Look how much you’ve grown!”

      Instead of this: “I guess.”

      Say this:

      Yeah, I’ve grown out of my clothes

      this year. The doctor says I’m going to be

      taller than Mom.

      If your friend’s dad asks, “So what are you two hard at work on?”

      Instead of this: “Homework.”

      Say this:

      Carly and I have to do homework about

      Mexico, so we’re looking for pictures in

      these old travel magazines.

      If you’re waiting for class to start and your art teacher asks,

      “Are you ready to make clay flowers today?”

      Instead of this: “OK.”

      Say this:

      I’m excited. My mom has a flower garden,

      so I already have ideas that I want to try.

      If a woman in your mother’s book club sees you and asks,

      “Gabriella, do you like to read?”

      Instead of this: “Uh-huh.”

      Say this:

      I read all kinds of books, but I love graphic

      novels. Have you ever read one of those?

      If your neighbor is working in her garden and asks,

      “What have your parents been up to lately?”

      Instead of this: “I don’t know.”

      Say this:

      Mom’s busy with work, and Dad’s

      cleaning out the garage.

      A TIP

      When someone asks you a question, it’s important that you say some-

      thing other than “good” or “nothing.” If you don’t have much to say,

      ask a question. Questions help move the conversation back and forth

      like a ball in a tennis match—only in the end, you’re both winners.

      what to say

      compliments

      Admiring something about a person is a great way to start a conversation.

      It opens the door to even more talking and sharing. And who doesn’t love

      a compliment? Check out these dos and don’ts when giving and receiving

      compliments.

      GIVING compliments

      Do speak from the heart with honest and positive comments.

      Instead of this: “I liked your speech.”

      Say this:

      Your speech really kept my attention.

      You’re a great speaker.

      Do give specific details about what you like or liked.

      Instead of this: “Cool poem.”

      Say this:

      I loved your haiku,

      especially the line about your cat

      being a sushi specialist.

      Don’t expect a compliment back.

      Instead of this: “Nice sweater. Do you like mine?”

      Say this:

      You look pretty in that sweater.

      It makes your eyes look so blue.

      Don’t add a “but” statement after complimenting someone.

      Instead of this: “Your party was fun, BUT my sister’s party

      was amazing.”

      Say this:

      Your party rocked! I loved

      your decorations.

      RECEIVING compliments

      Do accept compliments with a sincere thank-you.

      Compliment: “Your artwork is really cool.”

      Instead of this: “Yeah, a lot of people have given me

      compliments.”

      Say this:

      Thank you! That means a lot to me.

      Do give credit to a partner or partners if you receive a

      compliment on a group project.

      Compliment: “What a great project on recycling!”

      Instead of this: “Thanks!”

      Say this:

      Thanks! I did the presentation, but Sophie

      and Natalie did most of the writing.

      Don’t agree in a bragging way.

      Compliment: “Another 100! You’re so smart.”

      Instead of this: “Yeah, I think it’s easy to get all A’s.”

      Say this:

      Thanks. I really like social studies.

      Don’t disagree or cut yourself down when receiving a compliment.

      Compliment: “Wow! You have an awesome voice.”

      Instead of this: “Thanks, but I don’t think I sang that well.”

      Say this:

      Thank you!

      I was nervous

      singing my

      first solo.

      confident

      body language

      It’s not just what you say but how you say it that matters. If you want to

      sound confident, you need to look the part. Negative body language can

      send signals that say you’re not interested in talking. Follow these tips to

      show a potential friend that you’re interesting and ready to be a part of

      her world.

      Smile. Nothing makes a person feel more relaxed when he or she

      meets