Beyond Sunday. Teresa Tomeo

are different, over the years I’ve run into so many Catholics who have struggles very much like those I experienced, and I suspect like yours as well. I was baptized into the Faith as an infant and grew up going to Mass with my family. I even attended Catholic school. Yet I didn’t see my faith having much to do with my life after Mass each weekend. At one point in my life, I was one of those Catholics who had fallen away from my faith completely. So, as one who has walked this journey herself, I hope that sharing my story will provide encouragement and hope as you step out in faith.

      It’s been said by some Catholic converts that “cradle Catholics” are sitting on a spiritual Fort Knox, and they don’t even know it. This is partly because, for generations, most of the culture shared the same moral values as the Catholic Church, and there was a certain comfort level that came along with that. As Archbishop Allen H. Vigneron of my Archdiocese of Detroit details in his 2017 pastoral letter, Unleash the Gospel, there is not as much urgency in a message when it’s understood that most appreciate and agree with that message. As a result, sadly, “parishes and dioceses slipped almost imperceptibly into a mode of maintenance rather than mission. Many Catholics came to think of evangelization as a special calling, primarily for priests and religious in the foreign missions.”²

      The shifts in the culture over the past sixty years have made it clear that we need to revisit our understanding of the Church, of its place in the world, and of our role as Catholic Christians. In other words, many of us in the Church today need what Saint John Paul II referred to as “the new evangelization.” The mission fields aren’t just faraway places where people with a special call to be missionaries can go take care of the poor and spread the Faith. We ourselves need to be evangelized. We need to hear the Good News, especially those of us who have grown up in the Church but have never really gotten past going through the motions.

      We live in a high-tech information age, and it might be a bit of an exaggeration, but just about anything and everything you ever wanted to know about the Catholic Church (and Christianity in general) can be found at the click of a mouse. The entire Catechism of the Catholic Church is free and readily accessible online, not to mention countless Catholic ministries, apostolates, Bible studies, papal documents, podcasts, radio shows, books, and personal testimonies. The list of available resources is (and this is not a stretch by any means) pretty much endless. Yet too many of us have no idea these resources even exist. Many are drowned out or overshadowed by everything else that’s out there, from the twenty-four-hour news cycle to social media, pop culture outlets, and anything else that’s got a hold of our time and attention. (By the way, you’ll find some of my favorite Catholic resources in a detailed list in the appendix of this book.)

      Let’s take a quick stroll down memory (or history) lane to get a better understanding of just how much cultural norms have changed today from twenty, thirty, or fifty years ago. The so-called sexual revolution that began in the 1960s occurred at the same time that the mass media exploded onto the world stage. This was an explosion of very loud and consistent voices that were, and still are, busy painting Christianity — and especially Catholic Christianity — as backward and oppressive, while touting the values and norms of the sexual revolution as the only true way to freedom and happiness. The sudden prevalence of the “me” culture coupled with the mass media gave the microphones and megaphones to people with a very different message, often directly opposed to the teachings of the Church. And far too often, the Church’s voice got drowned out in an increasingly fast-paced and noisy culture, driven by the media. Meanwhile, the culture itself shifted to one of instant gratification and “it’s whatever I want and feel,” which naturally became more and more hostile to basic Catholic principles. The idea of embracing suffering and picking up your cross daily became a foreign one to many. Living out the virtues as a wholesome Catholic in today’s society has continued to become more and more unpopular. This has caused many to hold back from living out their faith with courage.

      Fast forward to today, and we see the fallout. Only about 24 percent of the more than seventy million Americans who still identify as Catholic attend weekly Mass. And for many Mass-going Catholics, that hour each week is basically the only time during the week when they’re hearing about God. Compare that to what they’re hearing on a daily basis from mass media, social media, advertisements, and the culture at large. No wonder it’s difficult for so many of us Catholics today to go beyond Sunday.

      Stop and think for a moment about the relationships in your life. You probably have at least a few relatives and friends whom you love deeply and with whom you’re very close. These are committed relationships. You’ve invested, and continue to invest, a great deal of time, sacrifice, and effort because of the love you have for them. These relationships were built over time as you got to know them more intimately.

      Now think of the casual acquaintances in your life. You know “of” them through association. You may see them or come in contact with them even somewhat regularly in your comings and goings. But because you are somewhat removed from them, the relationship isn’t very deep or very strong. Maybe it has reduced to just a Christmas card exchange every year.

      Finally, think about your relationship with God. He wants us to be his intimate friends, but for many of us God is more like a casual acquaintance. God is our creator and knows us better than anyone else. The concept of bringing God and our faith into our everyday life has rarely been truly explained or, more importantly, made evident by the actions of the people around us. We see God off on the sidelines somewhere and not as a major player in the game called life. And most of us don’t really know what to do to fix that.

      That’s where I was many years ago. Looking back, I realize that even though I did not have bad intentions, I found myself relegating faith to one hour per week. I hadn’t left the Church by any means. My husband and I wanted to practice our faith, but we just didn’t really feel like we had the knowledge or the ability to live our faith beyond doing what we know we’re “supposed to”: going to church on Sunday.

      For far too many Catholics, faith is mostly defined by Mass attendance. Many Catholics have no real, flesh-and-blood examples of what “beyond Sunday” means or looks like. For the older generation, faith means weekly Mass; for the millennials, baby boomers, and others, faith means Mass attendance on major holidays, if at all.

      This book is designed to be a practical and honest look at where we’ve been and where we need to go. I’ve heard from folks around the country — whether at speaking events or among radio followers — that they felt judged or unwelcomed by the Catholics who are very involved at the parish level. They don’t feel “holy” enough or educated enough in the Faith to participate in other activities outside of Mass. They feel like they’re back in high school, being rejected by the “in” crowd. Let me just say, I’m very sorry if you’ve been made to feel that way in any church setting, whether that’s your local parish or a church you have visited in the past. Please know, you have every right to be involved, and it doesn’t matter how much you know about your faith. We’re all always learning more. Your journey is just important as anyone else’s. Don’t let your sense of being unwanted or unworthy keep you from God — the truth is, he does want you. Very, very much.

      Hopefully this book will help you start digging a little deeper, no matter where you are in your journey today.

      It may surprise you to hear that even if you go to Mass every week and hear the Bible readings, you still might not know the Gospel of Jesus. Being somewhat familiar with someone and having a deep, committed relationship with him or her are two very different things. That was the case with me and my husband growing up Catholic, and it’s not an exaggeration to say it’s the case with a large majority of Catholics, including those who are in the pews regularly. God is the only one who can judge hearts. And God, who created us, understands us better than we understand ourselves. Therefore, he realizes we can’t love him without truly “knowing” him.

      Getting to know Jesus and our faith on a personal level actually makes a lot of difference when it comes to true happiness. Yes, God loves us right where we’re at. But as I heard a preacher say once, he also loves us enough not to keep us there. Why settle for a so-so relationship with God, when you can have a great relationship with him that is filled with abundant joy? That’s right, abundant joy, as