Made for This. Mary Haseltine

of my being the worth of every single baby and every single moment,

      To the ones who were with me and supported me during my own births, To my sisters in heaven who have seen this project through, Thank you.

      Of course, my gratitude also to the many women who have given me the honor of sharing in their births as they welcome their babies into the world. My special thanks also to the women who were willing to share their stories in this book: Amanda D., Amanda P., Amelia, Angie, April, Bridget, Carolyn, Carrie, Cherie, Christina, Christy, Colleen, Dwija, Erin, Ginny, Haley, Janelle, Jennifer, Jill, Katie, Kendra, Lauren, Lindsay, Lisa, Lydia, Madeline, Mandi, Marchelle, Margaret, Mary, Megan, Melody, Micaela, Molly, Nancy, Nell, Nicole, Shannon, Teresa, and Theresa (and John and Greg, too!). May God bless you for blessing others with your stories.

      Foreword

      We are honored and excited to write this foreword to Mary Haseltine’s most welcome and needed book, Made for This: The Catholic Mom’s Guide to Birth. Since our reversion to the Catholic faith ten years ago, we have come to deeply appreciate the uniqueness of a Catholic approach to all aspects of parenting. The books we have written over the years were intended to pass on to other mothers and fathers what we had learned both as healthcare professionals and through our own pregnancies, births, and parenting, and to present God’s design for the woman’s body, which is made to grow a baby and give birth, and then feed and care for the child.

      The main point we make about childbirth, one that all mothers need to know, is what we call the “hormonal symphony of birth.” Mom is the conductor in this symphony, and when all the players are working in harmony, beautiful music — as she gives birth — occurs. The hormonal harmony during birth continues to cascade through both the mother’s body and the newly born baby’s body. God’s design is in place to ensure a smooth transition from baby’s life in utero to his or her new world of air-breathing and breastfeeding, and being held, warmed, and comforted skin-to-skin. This symphony can only unfold seamlessly when this design is given the time and conditions it needs. This is the science and the art of birthing you will be learning about in this book.

      We experienced birth as naive young parents fifty years ago (fresh out of nursing and medical school), through seven more births, the last one in 1992, when we were present for our adopted daughter’s birth. These ranged from our firstborn’s birth with spinal anesthesia and forceps (1967), through two more hospital births (one of those unmedicated), then on to having the blessings of four home births. Each of these very different births taught us so much that we’ve been privileged to write about in several of the books in The Sears Parenting Library. We know firsthand the importance and the need for women to be fully informed and empowered on birth!

      We have seen, in these past fifty years, both the art and the science of childbirth developing. Women have learned to trust their bodies in birthing, and at the same time they have learned to embrace the scientific advances that can help them benefit from truly evidence-based birth practices that are completely respectful of mom’s and baby’s natural biology. Partnering of the art of childbirth with the science of childbirth leads to making informed choices, and there are many choices to consider as you work toward the goal of a safe and satisfying birth. This goal fits perfectly with the culture of life we strive for, and it respects the dignity of women, understanding our feminine genius, as Pope Saint John Paul II taught in his Letter to Women.

      As a Catholic mother, you want to follow God’s plan for you and your baby, and it is good to know you truly are Made for This. You are made to be the mother of and to give birth to this child. There is a lot to learn about your pregnant body, and even more about your pregnant mind. And there is a lot to learn about what labor and birth will be like and what you need to know to meet the demands of giving birth. Recent research has correlated a happy, relaxed, informed pregnancy with having a healthy birth and baby. Still, there is no better stress-buster throughout your pregnancy, and especially as the time draws near for your baby to be born, than daily prayer.

      Pregnancy is a precious nine months of physical growth and development for mom and baby, and emotional growth for mom and dad. Taking time for spiritual growth during pregnancy will bring husband and wife closer to God and to each other. We encourage you to use these nine months wisely. Made for This offers solid spiritual direction in addition to the excellent childbirth preparation you are looking for. Preparing spiritually for birth enhances every aspect of being ready, not only for birth, but also for the parenting of your child and the shaping of family life. This book is a unique resource: The author holds a degree in theology, and she is also a childbirth educator and a birth doula. Her book provides a clear road map for your journey of faith on your way to welcoming your baby into the world.

      Dr. William and Martha Sears Authors of The Baby Book, The Birth Book, and The Healthy Pregnancy Book

      Introduction

       How to Use This Book

      I am the mother of six children, five of whom I’ve been given the privilege to raise. I’m also a Catholic birth doula, birth instructor, and have been blessed to be with many women as they brought their babies into the world. I’ve studied, experienced, and seen firsthand the beauty of evidence-based birth and the complications that can result from the opposite. I’m not a doctor, a midwife, or a nurse. What I am is a disciple, a woman, a mother, a doula, a student of theology, a teacher, and a writer in whom God has placed a passion for the beautiful design and act of birth.

      This book is meant to be a companion to your other preparation and prenatal care. I want to make very clear that this book is not meant to be a substitute for your own research or to provide any medical advice for your specific situation. My prayer is that it will help you approach your unique birth and motherhood with more information and draw deeply from the grace present during pregnancy and birth, entering more fully into your feminine genius. I highly recommend attending a quality birth class, conducting your own research, reading more books, and talking with your husband and medical provider when making plans for your birth.

      It is outside the scope of this book to provide comprehensive information on every unique circumstance. However, I do believe there is something within these pages for every single woman as she approaches her birth. My prayer is that in these pages will be found encouragement, grace, hope, beauty, and truth. I hope that you come away knowing deeply that no matter what kind of birth you are called to have, you are indeed made for this.

      May you and your baby be blessed with a healthy, happy, and, yes, holy birth.

      Why Birth Matters

       “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”— 1 Corinthians 10:31

      “I did it. I can’t believe I just did that!” Her words as she held on her chest the wriggling, slippery baby boy fresh from the womb were exhausted but euphoric. “I’ve never done anything so amazing.”

      It was the moment she had been waiting for, the moment so many women long for. And she, like so many other mothers before her, was transformed. Her hair was matted, her face sweaty, her body bleeding and aching, and yet she was radiant. Just moments before she had been absolutely certain she couldn’t do one bit more, and then, like so many mothers before her, she did it.

      And it changed her.

      The shocking, raw, messy, agonizing reality of birth has an incredible power. In its very nature, birth — every birth — is designed by the Creator to be one of the most profound and intense moments of our lives, and women know that deeply. Millions of women have felt its power, and countless women long for it. It isn’t just the intellectual and spiritual reality of becoming a mother, though most certainly that is part of it, but the actual process of childbirth itself has the potential to transform us. And it is meant to.