The King of Schnorrers - The Original Classic Edition. Zangwill Israel

that the broad grin was one of gratification as well as of amusement, and part of the gratification sprang from a real kindliness of heart--for Grobstock was an easy-going man with whom the world had gone easy. The Schnorrers were exhausted before the packets, but the philanthropist was in no anxiety to be rid of the remnant. Closing the mouth of the considerably lightened bag and clutching it tightly by the throat, and recomposing his face to gravity, he moved slowly down the street like a stately treasure-ship flecked by the sunlight. His way led towards Goodman's Fields, where his mansion was situate, and he knew that the fine weather would bring out Schnorrers enough. And, indeed, he had not gone many paces before he met a figure he did not remember having seen before. Leaning against a post at the head of the narrow passage which led to Bevis Marks was a tall, black-bearded, turbaned personage, a first glance at whom showed him of the true tribe. Mechanically Joseph Grobstock's hand went to the lucky-bag, and he drew out a neatly-folded packet and tendered it to the stranger. The stranger received the gift graciously, and opened it gravely, the philanthropist loitering awkwardly to mark the issue. Suddenly the dark face became a thunder-cloud, the eyes flashed lightning. "An evil spirit in your ancestors' bones!" hissed the stranger, from between his flashing teeth. "Did you come here to insult me?" "Pardon, a thousand pardons!" stammered the magnate, wholly taken aback. "I fancied you were a--a--a--poor man." "And, therefore, you came to insult me!" "No, no, I thought to help you," murmured Grobstock, turning from red to scarlet. Was it possible he had foisted his charity upon an undeserving millionaire? No! Through all the clouds of his own confusion and the recipient's anger, the figure of a Schnorrer loomed too plain for mistake. None but a Schnorrer would wear a home-made turban, issue of a black cap crossed with a white kerchief; none but a Schnorrer would unbutton the first nine buttons of his waistcoat, or, if this relaxation were due to the warmth of the weather, counteract it by wearing an over-garment, especially one as heavy as a blanket, with buttons the size of compasses and flaps reaching nearly to his shoe-buckles, even though its length were only congruous with that of his undercoat, which already reached the bottoms of his knee-breeches. Finally, who but a Schnorrer would wear this overcoat cloak-wise, with dangling sleeves, full of armless suggestion from a side view? Quite apart from the shabbiness of the snuff-coloured fabric, it was amply evident that the wearer did not dress by rule or measure. Yet the disproportions of his attire did but enhance the picturesqueness of a personality that would be striking even in a bath, though it was not likely to be seen there. The beard was jet black, sweeping and unkempt, and ran up his cheeks to meet the raven hair, so that the vivid face was framed in black; it was a long, tapering face with sanguine lips gleaming at the heart of a black bush; the eyes were large and lambent, set in deep sockets under black arching eyebrows; the nose was long and Coptic; the brow low but broad, with straggling wisps of hair protruding from beneath the turban. His right hand grasped a plain ashen staff. Worthy Joseph Grobstock found the figure of the mendicant only too impressive; he shrank uneasily before the indignant eyes. "I meant to help you," he repeated. "And this is how one helps a brother in Israel?" said the Schnorrer, throwing the paper contemptuously into the philanthropist's face. It struck him on the bridge of the nose, but impinged so mildly that he felt at once what was the matter. The packet was empty--the Schnorrer had drawn a blank; the only one the good-natured man had put into the bag. "IT STRUCK HIM ON THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE." 4 The Schnorrer's audacity sobered Joseph Grobstock completely; it might have angered him to chastise the fellow, but it did not. His better nature prevailed; he began to feel shamefaced, fumbled sheepishly in his pocket for a crown; then hesitated, as fearing this peace-offering would not altogether suffice with so rare a spirit, and that he owed the stranger more than silver--an apology to wit. He proceeded honestly to pay it, but with a maladroit manner, as one unaccustomed to the currency. "You are an impertinent rascal," he said, "but I daresay you feel hurt. Let me assure you I did not know there was nothing in the packet. I did not, indeed." "Then your steward has robbed me!" exclaimed the Schnorrer excitedly. "You let him make up the packets, and he has stolen my money--the thief, the transgressor, thrice-cursed who robs the poor." "You don't understand," interrupted the magnate meekly. "I made up the packets myself." "Then, why do you say you did not know what was in them? Go, you mock my misery!" "Nay, hear me out!" urged Grobstock desperately. "In some I placed gold, in the greater number silver, in a few copper, in one alone--nothing. That is the one you have drawn. It is your misfortune." "My misfortune!" echoed the Schnorrer scornfully. "It is your misfortune--I did not even draw it. The Holy One, blessed be He, has punished you for your heartless jesting with the poor--making a sport for yourself of their misfortunes, even as the Philistines sported with Samson. The good deed you might have put to your account by a gratuity to me, God has taken from you. He has declared you unworthy of achieving righteousness through me. Go your way, murderer!" "Murderer!" repeated the philanthropist, bewildered by this harsh view of his action. "Yes, murderer! Stands it not in the Talmud that he who shames another is as one who spills his blood? And have you not put me to shame--if anyone had witnessed your almsgiving, would he not have laughed in my beard?" The pillar of the Synagogue felt as if his paunch were shrinking. "But the others--" he murmured deprecatingly. "I have not shed their blood--have I not given freely of my hard-earned gold?" "For your own diversion," retorted the Schnorrer implacably. "But what says the Midrash? There is a wheel rolling in the world--not he who is rich to-day is rich to-morrow, but this one He brings up, and this one He brings down, as is said in the seventy-fifth Psalm. Therefore, lift not up your horn on high, nor speak with a stiff neck." He towered above the unhappy capitalist, like an ancient prophet denouncing a swollen monarch. The poor man put his hand involuntarily to his high collar as if to explain away his apparent arrogance, but in reality because he was not breathing easily under the Schnorrer's attack. "You are an uncharitable man," he panted hotly, driven to a line of defence he had not anticipated. "I did it not from wantonness, but from faith in Heaven. I know well that God sits turning a wheel--therefore I did not presume to turn it myself. Did I not let Providence select who should have the silver and who the gold, who the copper and who the emptiness? Besides, God alone knows who really needs my assistance--I have made Him my almoner; I have cast my burden on the Lord." "Epicurean!" shrieked the Schnorrer. "Blasphemer! Is it thus you would palter with the sacred texts? Do you forget what the next verse says: 'Bloodthirsty and deceitful men shall not live out half their days'? Shame on you--you a Gabbai (treasurer) of the Great Synagogue. You see I know you, Joseph Grobstock. Has not the beadle of your Synagogue boasted to me that you have given him a guinea for brushing your spatterdashes? Would you think of offering him a packet? Nay, it is the poor that are trodden on--they whose merits are in excess of those of beadles. But the Lord will find others to take up his loans--for he who hath pity on the poor lendeth to the Lord. You are no true son of Israel." The Schnorrer's tirade was long enough to allow Grobstock to recover his dignity and his breath. "If you really knew me, you would know that the Lord is considerably in my debt," he rejoined quietly. "When next you would discuss me, speak with the Psalms-men, not the beadle. Never have I neglected the needy. Even now, though you have been insolent and uncharitable, I am ready to befriend you if you are in want." 5 "If I am in want!" repeated the Schnorrer scornfully. "Is there anything I do not want?" "You are married?" "You correct me--wife and children are the only things I do not lack." "No pauper does," quoth Grobstock, with a twinkle of restored humour. "No," assented the Schnorrer sternly. "The poor man has the fear of Heaven. He obeys the Law and the Commandments. He marries while he is young--and his spouse is not cursed with barrenness. It is the rich man who transgresses the Judgment, who delays to come under the Canopy." "Ah! well, here is a guinea--in the name of my wife," broke in Grobstock laughingly. "Or stay--since you do not brush spatterdashes--here is another." "In the name of my wife," rejoined the Schnorrer with dignity, "I thank you." "Thank me in your own name," said Grobstock. "I mean tell it me." "I am Manasseh Bueno Barzillai Azevedo da Costa," he answered simply. "A Sephardi!" exclaimed the philanthropist. "Is it not written on my face, even as it is written on yours that you are a Tedesco? It is the first time that I have taken gold from one of your lineage." "Oh, indeed!" murmured Grobstock, beginning to feel small again. "Yes--are we not far richer than your community? What need have I to take the good deeds away from my own people--they have too few opportunities for beneficence as it is, being so many of them wealthy; brokers and West India merchants, and--" "But I, too, am a financier, and an East India Director," Grobstock reminded him. "Maybe; but your community is yet young and struggling--your rich men are as the good men in Sodom for multitude. You are the immigrants of yesterday--refugees from the Ghettoes of Russia and