Our Mutual Friend - The Original Classic Edition. Dickens Charles

'Do I know the worst of father!' she repeated, opening her eyes. 'Do you know the suspicions to which your father makes himself

       liable? Do you know the suspicions that are actually about, against him?'

       The consciousness of what he habitually did, oppressed the girl heavily, and she slowly cast down her eyes.

       'Say, Lizzie. Do you know?' urged Miss Abbey.

       'Please to tell me what the suspicions are, Miss,' she asked after a silence, with her eyes upon the ground.

       'It's not an easy thing to tell a daughter, but it must be told. It is thought by some, then, that your father helps to their death a few of

       those that he finds dead.'

       The relief of hearing what she felt sure was a false suspicion, in place of the expected real and true one, so lightened Lizzie's breast for the moment, that Miss Abbey was amazed at her demeanour. She raised her eyes quickly, shook her head, and, in a kind of triumph, almost laughed.

       'They little know father who talk like that!'

       ('She takes it,' thought Miss Abbey, 'very quietly. She takes it with extraordinary quietness!')

       'And perhaps,' said Lizzie, as a recollection flashed upon her, 'it is some one who has a grudge against father; some one who has threatened father! Is it Riderhood, Miss?'

       'Well; yes it is.'

       'Yes! He was father's partner, and father broke with him, and now he revenges himself. Father broke with him when I was by, and he was very angry at it. And besides, Miss Abbey!--Will you never, without strong reason, let pass your lips what I am going to say?'

       She bent forward to say it in a whisper.

       'I promise,' said Miss Abbey.

       'It was on the night when the Harmon murder was found out, through father, just above bridge. And just below bridge, as we were sculling home, Riderhood crept out of the dark in his boat. And many and many times afterwards, when such great pains were taken to come to the bottom of the crime, and it never could be come near, I thought in my own thoughts, could Riderhood himself have done the murder, and did he purposely let father find the body? It seemed a'most wicked and cruel to so much as think such a thing; but now that he tries to throw it upon father, I go back to it as if it was a truth. Can it be a truth? That was put into my mind by the dead?'

       She asked this question, rather of the fire than of the hostess of the Fellowship Porters, and looked round the little bar with troubled eyes.

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       But, Miss Potterson, as a ready schoolmistress accustomed to bring her pupils to book, set the matter in a light that was essentially of this world.

       'You poor deluded girl,' she said, 'don't you see that you can't open your mind to particular suspicions of one of the two, without opening your mind to general suspicions of the other? They had worked together. Their goings-on had been going on for some time. Even granting that it was as you have had in your thoughts, what the two had done together would come familiar to the mind of one.'

       'You don't know father, Miss, when you talk like that. Indeed, indeed, you don't know father.'

       'Lizzie, Lizzie,' said Miss Potterson. 'Leave him. You needn't break with him altogether, but leave him. Do well away from him; not because of what I have told you tonight--we'll pass no judgment upon that, and we'll hope it may not be--but because of what I have urged on you before. No matter whether it's owing to your good looks or not, I like you and I want to serve you. Lizzie, come under my direction. Don't fling yourself away, my girl, but be persuaded into being respectable and happy.'

       In the sound good feeling and good sense of her entreaty, Miss Abbey had softened into a soothing tone, and had even drawn her arm round the girl's waist. But, she only replied, 'Thank you, thank you! I can't. I won't. I must not think of it. The harder father is borne upon, the more he needs me to lean on.'

       And then Miss Abbey, who, like all hard people when they do soften, felt that there was considerable compensation owing to her, underwent reaction and became frigid.

       'I have done what I can,' she said, 'and you must go your way. You make your bed, and you must lie on it. But tell your father one

       thing: he must not come here any more.

       'Oh, Miss, will you forbid him the house where I know he's safe?'

       'The Fellowships,' returned Miss Abbey, 'has itself to look to, as well as others. It has been hard work to establish order here, and make the Fellowships what it is, and it is daily and nightly hard work to keep it so. The Fellowships must not have a taint upon it that may give it a bad name. I forbid the house to Riderhood, and I forbid the house to Gaffer. I forbid both, equally. I find from Riderhood and you together, that there are suspicions against both men, and I'm not going to take upon myself to decide betwixt them. They are both tarred with a dirty brush, and I can't have the Fellowships tarred with the same brush. That's all I know.'

       'Good-night, Miss!' said Lizzie Hexam, sorrowfully.

       'Hah!--Good-night!' returned Miss Abbey with a shake of her head.

       'Believe me, Miss Abbey, I am truly grateful all the same.'

       'I can believe a good deal,' returned the stately Abbey, 'so I'll try to believe that too, Lizzie.'

       No supper did Miss Potterson take that night, and only half her usual tumbler of hot Port Negus. And the female domestics--two robust sisters, with staring black eyes, shining flat red faces, blunt noses, and strong black curls, like dolls--interchanged the sentiment that Missis had had her hair combed the wrong way by somebody. And the pot-boy afterwards remarked, that he hadn't been

       'so rattled to bed', since his late mother had systematically accelerated his retirement to rest with a poker.

       The chaining of the door behind her, as she went forth, disenchanted Lizzie Hexam of that first relief she had felt. The night was black and shrill, the river-side wilderness was melancholy, and there was a sound of casting-out, in the rattling of the iron-links, and the grating of the bolts and staples under Miss Abbey's hand. As she came beneath the lowering sky, a sense of being involved in a murky shade of Murder dropped upon her; and, as the tidal swell of the river broke at her feet without her seeing how it gathered, so, her thoughts startled her by rushing out of an unseen void and striking at her heart.

       Of her father's being groundlessly suspected, she felt sure. Sure. Sure. And yet, repeat the word inwardly as often as she would, the attempt to reason out and prove that she was sure, always came after it and failed. Riderhood had done the deed, and entrapped her father. Riderhood had not done the deed, but had resolved in his malice to turn against her father, the appearances that were ready to his hand to distort. Equally and swiftly upon either putting of the case, followed the frightful possibility that her father, being in-

       nocent, yet might come to be believed guilty. She had heard of people suffering Death for bloodshed of which they were afterwards

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       proved pure, and those ill-fated persons were not, first, in that dangerous wrong in which her father stood. Then at the best, the beginning of his being set apart, whispered against, and avoided, was a certain fact. It dated from that very night. And as the great black river with its dreary shores was soon lost to her view in the gloom, so, she stood on the river's brink unable to see into the vast blank misery of a life suspected, and fallen away from by good and bad, but knowing that it lay there dim before her, stretching away to the great ocean, Death.

       One thing only, was clear to the girl's mind. Accustomed from her very babyhood promptly to do the thing that could be done--

       whether to keep out weather, to ward off cold, to postpone hunger, or what not--she started out of her meditation, and ran home.

       The room was quiet, and the lamp burnt on the table. In the bunk in the corner, her brother lay asleep. She bent over him softly,

       kissed him, and came to the table.

       'By the time of Miss Abbey's closing, and by the run of the tide, it must be one. Tide's running up. Father at Chiswick, wouldn't think of coming down, till after the turn, and that's