Freedom Fries and Cafe Creme. Jocelyne Rapinac

in 20 Lessons of Stylish Cuisine. Needless to say, the book had been a great commercial success with men of all ages. But, even so, it hadn’t really helped Paul. He was just not into cooking at all and had no real talent for it. He didn’t have a clue how to prepare anything, having been raised on processed frozen meals, peanut butter and jelly, or bologna sandwiches.

      Adam, always optimistic, wanted to believe that Paul would develop an interest in cooking one day. Certainly living with Adam had been a real education for Paul. He’d discovered many foods from different cultures, as well as sophisticated dishes that he’d only vaguely heard of before. All this thanks to Adam, an amazing cordon bleu cook, able to adapt and improve almost any recipe, and who dined with so many friends from different cultural backgrounds.

      Adam, having lost interest in women, regarded them as simply too complicated and too hard to satisfy. He lived quite happily, having found a balance between his long-term secret relationship with a married man from Boston high society and his straight flatmate, Paul, who had become his best friend. Cooking remained his greatest passion, however.

      When Paul had asked Adam if he would cook a nice dinner for a new date he wanted to impress, Adam had found the idea amusing and accepted right away.

      What would his reward be? If the woman was seduced, the two friends would go to Quebec City for a weekend and Paul would treat Adam to dinner in some fine restaurants; a new one each time for another culinary discovery. This was now an established arrangement between the two friends. Adam loved Quebec City; for him, the beautiful Canadian city was the place to find unpretentious, authentic French gourmet food at its best.

      When Paul had a woman over for dinner, he and Adam had an agreement that Adam would go out. Most of the time, Adam went to Rita’s place, as she lived close by. Paul could then pretend that he was the one doing the cooking. Adam simply prepared everything in advance, and all Paul had to do was heat it up. The second reason for Adam not being there was that Paul feared that his dates might fall for Adam, who was quite good-looking and very fit.

      ‘You can’t blame the women,’ Rita had told Paul. ‘He is so gorgeous, like most gay men are. It’s not only their physical appearance, it’s the whole package: taking good care of themselves, and their fine manners.’

      Rita had actually had a bit of a crush on Adam when she’d first met him. Too bad he wasn’t attracted to women any longer.

      Rita was convinced that her son could learn so much from Adam. She still blessed the day she’d found the ad Adam had placed on the bulletin board at a fancy supermarket in the neighbourhood, seeking a flatmate. And she loved it that her son was becoming a little more sophisticated. Rita was aware she hadn’t been able to give Paul the best education, being a single working mother with two children. Since getting to know Adam, she tended to speak quite highly of gay men. In addition to being cultured and good-looking, she maintained, they usually had money. And why was that? Because they didn’t have to spend all their income on little brats, needing to satisfy their budding consumerist appetites! At times Paul even wondered if Rita would have preferred him, her own son, to be gay.

      It was true that Rita had always dated men who were a little effeminate. She hated the macho male chauvinist type and thought hairy chests and big muscles were repulsive.

      Paul was still talking about Lily-Fromage’s upsetting email.

      ‘… And she assured me that if she hadn’t met this new guy, she would have stayed with me.’

      Since the first meal Adam had cooked for Paul’s seduction of Lily-Fromage – needless to say, every dish was made with cheese, from appetiser to dessert, with the obligatory chilled bottle of root beer instead of wine for her – he’d regularly used cottage cheese, just to please Paul who, oddly, had taken to it as well. That was why Adam had decided to cook this evening’s pasta with cottage cheese and smoked salmon.

      ‘The guy even has a farm and makes his own cottage cheese. She said it’s the best she’s ever tasted in her entire life! She seems completely smitten by him. And she also says that he’s a kind of spiritual guide for her. She had the nerve to accuse me of never really being into cheese; that I was only pretending to like it to please her.’

      How could Paul ever triumph over Mr Cheese Guru, who makes his own cottage cheese? Adam wondered, trying to suppress a grin.

      The situation was ridiculous and rather comical, Adam thought. He had never been quite sure why Paul had fallen for that cheese-obsessed idiot in the first place. Ah, l’amour and its opaque mysteries.

      ‘And listen to this: the two of them have decided that they’re going to work on a cookbook of cottage cheese recipes.’

      ‘She won’t get mine,’ Adam said light-heartedly.

      Not that he really cared if someone stole his recipes; on the contrary, he would have taken it as a compliment. But Lily-Fromage? He didn’t think she should have any recipes from his kitchen after what she’d done to Paul.

      ‘Funny you should say that because she asked me in her email if I could help her a little.’

      ‘She’s got some nerve, hasn’t she?’ Adam mumbled. ‘Tell her that if she wants your recipes, they’re actually mine.’

      ‘Oh, I know they’re yours.’

      ‘She’ll have to reconstruct them from memory.’

      ‘Her memory is not her strongest feature …’

      What was her best feature, actually? She didn’t even speak English properly, Adam thought.

      It suddenly dawned on him that he and Paul should get out of the house tonight, and he woke Pastis from the digestive nap he was taking on his lap.

      ‘Let’s go out! How about a big, juicy steak and crispy French fries?’