AS YOU LIKE IT. Sidney Lee

As wit and fortune will.

       TOUCHSTONE

       Or as the destinies decrees.

       CELIA Well said: that was laid on with a trowel.

       TOUCHSTONE

       Nay, if I keep not my rank,—

       ROSALIND

       Thou losest thy old smell.

       LE BEAU

       You amaze me, ladies; I would have told you of good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.

       ROSALIND

       Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling.

       LE BEAU

       I will tell you the beginning, and, if it please your ladyships, you may see the end; for the best is yet to do; and here, where you are, they are coming to perform it.

       CELIA

       Well,—the beginning, that is dead and buried.

       LE BEAU

       There comes an old man and his three sons,—

       CELIA

       I could match this beginning with an old tale.

       LE BEAU

       Three proper young men, of excellent growth and presence, with bills on their necks,—

       ROSALIND

       “Be it known unto all men by these presents,”—

       LE BEAU

       The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the duke’s wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw him, and broke three of his ribs, that there is little hope of life in him: so he served the second, and so the third. Yonder they lie; the poor old man, their father, making such pitiful dole over them that all the beholders take his part with weeping.

       ROSALIND

       Alas!

       TOUCHSTONE

       But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies have lost?

       LE BEAU

       Why, this that I speak of.

       TOUCHSTONE

       Thus men may grow wiser every day! It is the first time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.

       CELIA

       Or I, I promise thee.

       ROSALIND

       But is there any else longs to see this broken music in his sides? is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking?— Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?

       LE BEAU

       You must, if you stay here: for here is the place appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.

       CELIA

       Yonder, sure, they are coming: let us now stay and see it.

       [Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, Lords, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and Attendants.]

       DUKE FREDERICK

       Come on; since the youth will not be entreated, his own peril on his forwardness.

       ROSALIND

       Is yonder the man?

       LE BEAU

       Even he, madam.

       CELIA

       Alas, he is too young: yet he looks successfully.

       DUKE FREDERICK

       How now, daughter and cousin? are you crept hither to see the wrestling?

       ROSALIND

       Ay, my liege; so please you give us leave.

       DUKE FREDERICK

       You will take little delight in it, I can tell you, there is such odds in the men. In pity of the challenger’s youth I would fain dissuade him, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if you can move him.

       CELIA

       Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.

       DUKE FREDERICK

       Do so; I’ll not be by.

       [DUKE FREDERICK goes apart.]

       LE BEAU

       Monsieur the challenger, the princesses call for you.

       ORLANDO

       I attend them with all respect and duty.

       ROSALIND

       Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?

       ORLANDO

       No, fair princess; he is the general challenger: I come but in, as others do, to try with him the strength of my youth.

       CELIA

       Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your years. You have seen cruel proof of this man’s strength: if you saw yourself with your eyes, or knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your adventure would counsel you to a more equal enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.

       ROSALIND

       Do, young sir; your reputation shall not therefore be misprised: we will make it our suit to the duke that the wrestling might not go forward.

       ORLANDO

       I beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts: wherein I confess me much guilty to deny so fair and excellent ladies anything. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial: wherein if I be foiled there is but one shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one dead that is willing to be so: I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me: the world no injury, for in it I have nothing; only in the world I fill up a place, which may be better supplied when I have made it empty.

       ROSALIND

       The little strength that I have, I would it were with you.

       CELIA

       And mine to eke out hers.

       ROSALIND

       Fare you well. Pray heaven, I be deceived in you!

       CELIA

       Your heart’s desires be with you.

       CHARLES

       Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous to lie with his mother earth?

       ORLANDO

       Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest working.

       DUKE FREDERICK

       You shall try but one fall.

       CHARLES

       No; I warrant your grace, you shall not entreat him to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him from a first.

       ORLANDO

       You mean to mock me after; you should not have mocked me before; but come your ways.

       ROSALIND

       Now, Hercules be thy speed, young man!

       CELIA

       I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by the leg.

       [CHARLES and ORLANDO wrestle.]

       ROSALIND

       O excellent young man!

       CELIA

       If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who should down.

       [CHARLES is thrown. Shout.]

       DUKE FREDERICK

       No more, no more.

       ORLANDO

       Yes, I beseech your grace; I am not yet well breathed.

       DUKE FREDERICK