The Martian. George du Maurier

De Paris à Versailles—

       Il y a de belles allées,

       Vive le Roi de France!

       Il y a de belles allées,

       Vivent les écoliers!"

      One sultry Saturday afternoon in the summer of 1847 I sat at my desk in the junior school‑room, or salle d'études des petits, of the Institution F. Brossard, Rond‑point de l'Avenue de St.‑Cloud; or, as it is called now, Avenue du Bois de Boulogne—or, as it was called during the Second Empire, Avenue du Prince Impérial, or else de l'Impératrice; I'm not sure.

      There is not much stability in such French names, I fancy; but their sound is charming, and always gives me the nostalgia of Paris—Royal Paris, Impérial Paris, Republican Paris! … whatever they may call it ten or twelve years hence. Paris is always Paris, and always will be, in spite of the immortal Haussmann, both for those who love it and for those who don't.

      All the four windows were open. Two of them, freely and frankly, on to the now deserted play‑ground, admitting the fragrance of lime and syringa and lilac, and other odors of a mixed quality.

      Two other windows, defended by an elaborate network of iron wire and a formidable array of spiked iron rails beyond, opened on to the Rond‑point, or meeting of the cross‑roads—one of which led northeast to Paris through the Arc de Triomphe; the other three through woods and fields and country lanes to such quarters of the globe as still remain. The world is wide.

      In the middle of this open space a stone fountain sent up a jet of water three feet high, which fell back with a feeble splash into the basin beneath. There was comfort in the sound on such a hot day, and one listened for it half unconsciously; and tried not to hear, instead, Weber's "Invitation à la Valse," which came rippling in intermittent waves from the open window of the distant parloir, where Chardonnet was practising the piano.

      "Tum‑te‑dum‑tum‑tum …

       Tum‑te‑dum‑di, diddle‑iddle um!"

      e da capo, again and again. Chardonnet was no heaven‑born musician.

      Monsieur Bonzig—or "le Grand Bonzig," as he was called behind his back—sat at his table on the estrade, correcting the exercises of the eighth class (huitième), which he coached in Latin and French. It was the lowest class in the school; yet one learnt much in it that was of consequence; not, indeed, that Balbus built a wall—as I'm told we learn over here (a small matter to make such a fuss about, after so many years)—but that the Lord made heaven and earth in six days, and rested on the seventh.

      He (Monsieur Bonzig) seemed hot and weary, as well he might, and sighed, and looked up every now and then to mop his brow and think. And as he gazed into the green and azure depths beyond the north window, his dark brown eyes quivered and vibrated from side to side through his spectacles with a queer quick tremolo, such as I have never seen in any eyes but his.

      

INSTITUTION F. BROSSARD

      About five‑and‑twenty boys sat at their desks; boys of all ages between seven and fourteen—many with closely cropped hair, "à la malcontent," like nice little innocent convicts; and nearly all in blouses, mostly blue; some with their garments loosely flowing; others confined at the waist by a tricolored ceinture de gymnastique, so deep and stiff it almost amounted to stays.

      As for the boys themselves, some were energetic and industrious—some listless and lazy and lolling, and quite languid with the heat—some fidgety and restless, on the lookout for excitement of any kind: a cab or carriage raising the dust on its way to the Bois—a water‑cart laying it (there were no hydrants then); a courier bearing royal despatches, or a mounted orderly; the Passy omnibus, to or fro every ten or twelve minutes; the marchand de coco with his bell; a regiment of the line with its band; a chorus of peripatetic Orphéonistes—a swallow, a butterfly, a humblebee; a far‑off balloon, oh, joy!—any sight or sound to relieve the tedium of those two mortal school‑hours that dragged their weary lengths from half past one till half past three—every day but Sunday and Thursday.

      (Even now I find the early afternoon a little trying to wear through without a nap, say from two to four.)

      At 3.30 there would come a half‑hour's interval of play, and then the class of French literature from four till dinner‑time at six—a class that was more than endurable on account of the liveliness and charm of Monsieur Durosier, who journeyed all the way from the Collége de France every Saturday afternoon in June and July to tell us boys of the quatrième all about Villon and Ronsard, and Marot and Charles d'Orléans (exceptis excipiendis, of course), and other pleasant people who didn't deal in Greek or Latin or mathematics, and knew better than to trouble themselves overmuch about formal French grammar and niggling French prosody.

      Besides, everything was pleasant on a Saturday afternoon on account of the nearness of the day of days—

      "And that's the day that comes between

       The Saturday and Monday". …

      in France.

      I had just finished translating my twenty lines of Virgil—

      "Infandum, regina, jubes renovare," etc.

      Oh, crimini, but it was hot! and how I disliked the pious Æneas! I couldn't have hated him worse if I'd been poor Dido's favorite younger brother (not mentioned by Publius Vergilius Maro, if I remember).

      Palaiseau, who sat next to me, had a cold in his head, and kept sniffing in a manner that got on my nerves.

      "Mouche‑toi donc, animal!" I whispered; "tu me dégoûtes, à la fin!"

      Palaiseau always sniffed, whether he had a cold or not.

      "Taisez‑vous, Maurice—ou je vous donne cent vers à copier!" said M. Bonzig, and his eyes quiveringly glittered through his glasses as he fixed me.

      Palaiseau, in his brief triumph, sniffed louder.

      "Palaiseau," said Monsieur Bonzig, "si vous vous serviez de votre mouchoir—hein? Je crois que cela ne gênerait personne!" (If you were to use your pocket‑handkerchief—eh? I don't think it would inconvenience anybody!)

      At this there was a general titter all round, which was immediately suppressed, as in a court of law; and Palaiseau reluctantly and noisily did as he was told.

      In front of me that dishonest little sneak Rapaud, with a tall parapet of books before him to serve as a screen, one hand shading his eyes, and an inkless pen in the other, was scratching his copy‑book with noisy earnestness, as if time were too short for all he had to write about the pious Æneas's recitative, while he surreptitiously read the Comte de Monte Cristo, which lay open in his lap—just at the part where the body, sewn up in a sack, was going to be hurled into the Mediterranean. I knew the page well. There was a splash of red ink on it.

      It made my blood boil with virtuous indignation to watch him, and I coughed and hemmed again and again to attract his attention, for his back was nearly towards me. He heard me perfectly, but took no notice whatever, the deceitful little beast. He was to have given up Monte Cristo to me at half‑past two, and here it was twenty minutes to three! Besides which, it was my Monte Cristo, bought with my own small savings, and smuggled into school by me at great risk to myself.

      "Maurice!" said M. Bonzig.

      "Oui, m'sieur!" said I. I will translate:

      "You shall conjugate and copy out for me forty times the compoundverb, 'I cough without necessity to distract the attention of my comrade Rapaud from his Latin exercise!'"

      "Moi, m'sieur?" I ask, innocently.

      "Oui, vous!"

      "Bien, m'sieur!"

      Just then there was a clatter by the fountain, and the shrill small pipe of D'Aurigny, the youngest boy in the school, exclaimed: