The Greatest Dramatic Works of Anton Chekhov: 12 Plays in One Edition. Антон Чехов

Who’ll go and help us, children? There’ll be something left over for your trouble!

      TIHON. There won’t be anything left over…. Let them sleep, the two of us can manage.

      COACHMAN. Foo, I am tired! It’s cold, and there’s not a dry spot in all the mud…. Another thing, dear…. Have you got a little room in here for the lady to warm herself in? The carriage is all on one side, she can’t stay in it….

      TIHON. What does she want a room for? She can warm herself in here, if she’s cold…. We’ll find a place [Clears a space next to BORTSOV] Get up, get up! Just lie on the floor for an hour, and let the lady get warm. [To BORTSOV] Get up, your honour! Sit up! [BORTSOV sits up] Here’s a place for you. [Exit COACHMAN.]

      FEDYA. Here’s a visitor for you, the devil’s brought her! Now there’ll be no sleep before daylight.

      TIHON. I’m sorry I didn’t ask for fifteen…. She’d have given them…. [Stands expectantly before the door] You’re a delicate sort of people, I must say. [Enter MARIA EGOROVNA, followed by the COACHMAN. TIHON bows.] Please, your highness! Our room is very humble, full of blackbeetles! But don’t disdain it!

      MARIA EGOROVNA. I can’t see anything…. Which way do I go?

      TIHON. This way, your highness! [Leads her to the place next to BORTSOV] This way, please. [Blows on the place] I haven’t any separate rooms, excuse me, but don’t you be afraid, madam, the people here are good and quiet….

      MARIA EGOROVNA. [Sits next to BORTSOV] How awfully stuffy! Open the door, at any rate!

      TIHON. Yes, madam. [Runs and opens the door wide.]

      MARIA. We’re freezing, and you open the door! [Gets up and slams it] Who are you to be giving orders? [Lies down]

      TIHON. Excuse me, your highness, but we’ve a little fool here… a bit cracked…. But don’t you be frightened, he won’t do you any harm…. Only you must excuse me, madam, I can’t do this for ten roubles…. Make it fifteen.

      MARIA EGOROVNA. Very well, only be quick.

      TIHON. This minute… this very instant. [Drags some string out from under the counter] This minute. [A pause.]

      BORTSOV. [Looking at MARIA EGOROVNA] Marie… Masha…

      MARIA EGOROVNA. [Looks at BORTSOV] What’s this?

      BORTSOV. Marie… is it you? Where do you come from? [MARIA EGOROVNA recognizes BORTSOV, screams and runs off into the centre of the floor. BORTSOV follows] Marie, it is I… I [Laughs loudly] My wife! Marie! Where am I? People, a light!

      MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away from me! You lie, it isn’t you! It can’t be! [Covers her face with her hands] It’s a lie, it’s all nonsense!

      BORTSOV. Her voice, her movements…. Marie, it is I! I’ll stop in a moment…. I was drunk…. My head’s going round…. My God! Stop, stop…. I can’t understand anything. [Yells] My wife! [Falls at her feet and sobs. A group collects around the husband and wife.]

      MARIA EGOROVNA. Stand back! [To the COACHMAN] Denis, let’s go! I can’t stop here any longer!

      MERIK. [Jumps up and looks her steadily in the face] The portrait! [Grasps her hand] It is she! Eh, people, she’s the gentleman’s wife!

      MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away, fellow! [Tries to tear her hand away from him] Denis, why do you stand there staring? [DENIS and TIHON run up to her and get hold of MERIK’S arms] This thieves’ kitchen! Let go my hand! I’m not afraid!… Get away from me!

      MERIK. [Note: Throughout this speech, in the original, Merik uses the familiar second person singular.] Wait a bit, and I’ll let go…. Just let me say one word to you…. One word, so that you may understand…. Just wait…. [Turns to TIHON and DENIS] Get away, you rogues, let go! I shan’t let you go till I’ve had my say! Stop… one moment. [Strikes his forehead with his fist] No, God hasn’t given me the wisdom! I can’t think of the word for you!

      MARIA EGOROVNA. [Tears away her hand] Get away! Drunkards… let’s go, Denis!

      [She tries to go out, but MERIK blocks the door.]

      MERIK. Just throw a glance at him, with only one eye if you like! Or say only just one kind little word to him! God’s own sake!

      MARIA EGOROVNA. Take away this… fool.

      MERIK. Then the devil take you, you accursed woman!

      [He swings his axe. General confusion. Everybody jumps up noisily and with cries of horror. SAVVA stands between MERIK and MARIA EGOROVNA…. DENIS forces MERIK to one side and carries out his mistress. After this all stand as if turned to stone. A prolonged pause. BORTSOV suddenly waves his hands in the air.]

      BORTSOV. Marie… where are you, Marie!

      NAZAROVNA. My God, my God! You’ve torn up my your murderers! What an accursed night!

      MERIK. [Lowering his hand; he still holds the axe] Did I kill her or no?

      HIGH ROAD

      TIHON. Thank God, your head is safe….

      MERIK. Then I didn’t kill her…. [Totters to his bed] Fate hasn’t sent me to my death because of a stolen axe…. [Falls down and sobs] Woe! Woe is me! Have pity on me, Orthodox people!

      Curtain.

      SWAN SONG, A Play in One Act

       Table of Contents

      A PLAY IN ONE ACT

      CHARACTERS

      VASILI SVIETLOVIDOFF, a comedian, 68 years old

      NIKITA IVANITCH, a prompter, an old man

      The scene is laid on the stage of a country theatre, at night, after the play. To the right a row of rough, unpainted doors leading into the dressing-rooms. To the left and in the background the stage is encumbered with all sorts of rubbish. In the middle of the stage is an overturned stool.

      SVIETLOVIDOFF. [With a candle in his hand, comes out of a dressing-room and laughs] Well, well, this is funny! Here’s a good joke! I fell asleep in my dressing-room when the play was over, and there I was calmly snoring after everybody else had left the theatre. Ah! I’m a foolish old man, a poor old dodderer! I have been drinking again, and so I fell asleep in there, sitting up. That was clever! Good for you, old boy! [Calls] Yegorka! Petrushka! Where the devil are you? Petrushka! The scoundrels must be asleep, and an earthquake wouldn’t wake them now! Yegorka! [Picks up the stool, sits down, and puts the candle on the floor] Not a sound! Only echos answer me. I gave Yegorka and Petrushka each a tip to-day, and now they have disappeared without leaving a trace behind them. The rascals have gone off and have probably locked up the theatre. [Turns his head about] I’m drunk! Ugh! The play tonight was for my benefit, and it is disgusting to think how much beer and wine I have poured down my throat in honour of the occasion. Gracious! My body is burning all over, and I feel as if I had twenty tongues in my mouth. It is horrid! Idiotic! This poor old sinner is drunk again, and doesn’t even know what he has been celebrating! Ugh! My head is splitting, I am shivering all over, and I feel as dark and cold inside as a cellar! Even if I don’t mind ruining my health, I ought at least to remember my age, old idiot that I am! Yes, my old age! It’s no use! I can play the fool, and brag, and pretend to be young, but my life is really over now, I kiss my hand to the sixty-eight years that have gone by; I’ll never see them again! I have drained the bottle, only a few little drops are left at the bottom, nothing but the dregs. Yes, yes, that’s the case, Vasili, old boy. The time has come for you to rehearse the part of a mummy, whether you like it or not. Death is on its way to you. [Stares ahead of him] It is strange, though, that I have been on the stage now for forty-five years, and this is the first time I have