Bedlam. Derek Landy

plans? Um, no. It’s the school term, and …”

      “Of course,” said Valkyrie. “Of course. Hey, can you do me a favour? Can you stay out of trouble?”

      “Sorry?”

      “Trouble,” she said. “If you could stay out of it, that would be great.”

      “What trouble am I in?”

      “None,” she said.

      “So … what trouble am I going to be in?”

      She laughed. “None! Wow, you are paranoid!”

      “I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking me to do.”

      Valkyrie turned to him. “OK, look. There’s something going on. A case. It’s got something to do with America, or, at the very least, Americans.”

      He looked doubtful. “Do you need my help?”

      “No. In fact, we need the opposite.”

      “You need my … hindrance?”

      “We need you to stay out of it.”

      This was puzzling Omen. That was plain to see. “But I’m not in it,” he said. “I don’t know anything about it. This is the first I’m hearing of it. I don’t even know what it is.”

      “I realise that this might be confusing.”

      “Oh, good. I was worried.”

      “But I need you to promise me.”

      “I … I promise,” he said. “Can I ask a question, though?”

      “No.”

      “Just one.”

      “If you know anything at all about it,” Valkyrie said, “telling you might involve you, and we don’t want that, do we?”

      “I suppose not.”

      “You just focus on having a boring, ordinary few weeks, and I’ll explain it all to you when it’s over, deal?”

      “I … suppose so.”

      She smiled. Finally, she’d done something right. “OK then, buddy. You’d better get back to class.”

      “School’s over.”

      “Oh,” she said. “Don’t you usually have detention, or something?”

      He sagged. “Yeah,” he said, and trudged off.

      

      Valkyrie knocked on the staffroom door.

      Militsa opened it, and grinned. “Well, this is a lovely surprise! My girlfriend’s come to pick me up from work!”

      Valkyrie winced. “Actually, I’m here to see Fletcher.”

      “No!” Militsa gasped, clutching her heart. “Mr Renn! Are you trying to sneak away with my woman?”

      “I’ll win her back if it’s the last thing I do!” Fletcher warbled from somewhere Valkyrie couldn’t see.

      Militsa grinned again, and gave Valkyrie a peck on the cheek. “He’ll be with you in a second,” she said. “I’ve got some students that need extra tutoring, though, so I shall see you tomorrow, my petal.”

      “Yes, you will,” said Valkyrie, giving her a squeeze before she let her walk away.

      The door opened further and Fletcher stood there with his ridiculous hair. “Hey,” he said.

      “Hey.”

      “Haven’t seen you in a while. Is it just you?”

      Valkyrie shook her head. “Skulduggery will be here once he’s stopped being mysterious.”

      “Fair enough,” Fletcher said, ushering her into the otherwise empty staffroom. “You want anything? We’re out of tea, but I can make you a coffee.”

      “Ha, no thanks. I’ve heard about the coffee here. So how are things going? How’s life?”

      “Ticking along,” he said. “And actually, now that you’re here … I have a question.”

      “OK.”

      He hesitated. “So … we dated.”

      “Yes, we did.”

      “We had fun.”

      “Loads of fun.”

      “You were my first serious girlfriend.”

      “And you were my first serious boyfriend.”

      “It didn’t end too well.”

      “This is true.”

      “You kind of cheated on me.”

      “Not my proudest moment.”

      “With a vampire.”

      “Which turned out to be a huge mistake.”

      Fletcher nodded. “It’s good of you to acknowledge that.”

      “Haven’t we been over this, though?” Valkyrie asked. “I’m pretty sure I apologised about a million times.”

      “Three times,” Fletcher corrected.

      “Is that all?”

      “I counted.”

      “Three times seems … less than I remember.”

      “Well, that’s how many it was.”

      “I’ll take your word for it.” She smiled. “I feel like you’re skirting round a subject, however, and it’s not about Caelan the sulky vampire.”

      “Did I, um … did I turn you gay?”

      Valkyrie laughed. Really, really laughed. She hadn’t laughed like that in a long time.

      “No,” she said when she’d finished. “No, you didn’t, you muppet.”

      “Because you never indicated that you were, you know, interested in girls when we were dating.”

      “I don’t see why I would have.”

      “Well, yeah,” said Fletcher, “but … like, is this a new thing? I mean, I’m thrilled for you, I really am. Militsa is so cool and so, so nice. I’m happy you’re happy, basically. But did you … was there an awakening or …?”

      “Wow,” said Valkyrie. “An awakening.”

      “I don’t really know what I’m trying to say.”

      “Do you want me to sit you down and go through it all?”

      Fletcher brightened. “Would you?”

      “No,” said Valkyrie. “I liked boys. And I appreciated how girls looked, but they never really registered with me in that way until I got a bit older.”

      “So there was no big bombshell moment when you realised?”

      “Not really. Just a growing certainty.”

      “And is Militsa your first—”

      “Not going to go into too much detail, Fletch.”

      “Right, yes, of course. Boundaries.”

      She smiled. “I have no boundaries, you should know that by now. But I’m not going to go into detail because Skulduggery’s just arrived.”

      “Ah,”