F*ck Feelings: Less Obsessing, More Living. Sarah Bennett

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Название F*ck Feelings: Less Obsessing, More Living
Автор произведения Sarah Bennett
Жанр Личностный рост
Серия
Издательство Личностный рост
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780008140588



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Stop Hating the Ones You Love

       Accepting the Inescapably Annoying

       Facing Fear

       Healing Heartache

       Accepting Enmity

       Chapter Six Fuck Love

       Finding Someone

       Getting to Commitment

       Changing for Love

       Enjoying Healthy Sex

       Salvaging Lost Love

       Chapter Seven Fuck Communication

       Nurturing Closeness

       Airing Trauma

       Venting Anger

       Life-Changing Conversation

       Chapter Eight Fuck Parenthood

       Not Ruining Your Baby

       Stopping Constant Parent/Child Conflict

       Raising a Jerk

       Living with a Learning Disability

       Rebuilding Divorce-Damaged Parenting

       Chapter Nine Fuck Assholes

       Fucked by Your Nearest and Dearest Asshole

       My Parent, the Asshole

       Rising Up from an Asshole Takedown

       Saving Assholes from Their Shit

       Living and Working with Inescapable Assholes

       Bonus Chapter Ten Fuck Treatment

       Getting Treatment

       Getting Your Fill of Treatment

       Getting Treatment for the Unwilling

       Afterword: Well, Fuck Me

       Suggested Bibliography

       List of Searchable Terms

       Acknowledgments

       About the Authors

       About the Publisher

       Introduction

       What’s Your Goal?

      Most people read self-help books, or come to see shrinks, because they can’t solve their problems after trying very, very hard to do it themselves. This is true whether they feel depressed, anxious, ill-treated, burdened with self-destructive behaviors, hurt by an unhappy relationship, too fat, too thin; you name it. They come expecting advice or treatment that will reduce symptoms, ease painful feelings, strengthen self-control, or mend broken relationships. Basically, they want a cure. These expectations are stoked by the public faces of therapy, particularly those telegenic, first-name-basis self-help gurus like Drs. Phil, Drew, Laura, Nick, etc.

      F*ck Feelings offers a more realistic approach from a medically trained, practicing psychiatrist who, over a forty-year clinical career, has treated hundreds of patients with intractable mental illness, bad habits, and troubled relationships—Dr. Lastname. That was the alias used by your authors—Dr. Michael Bennett, the aforementioned Harvard-educated psychiatrist, and his daughter Sarah Bennett, a writer who spent years writing sketch comedy at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York—as we developed our collaborative technique at our website, fxckfeelings.com.

      Observing the difference between what people expect from therapy and what they are actually likely to achieve, I, Dr. Bennett, came to believe that people use the very act of coming for help—and their overbelief in a cure for their problems—to deny the fact that there is much about life, others, and their own personalities that is beyond anyone’s power to change. They would rather see themselves as failures or as partially developed seekers who cannot properly begin their lives until they have found an answer that has so far eluded them. Clinging to the belief that they can be cured, they want to know what they or any prior therapists did to block them from achieving their treatment goals. Unfortunately, many therapists, eager to help patients realize these wishes, support their false hopes. I am not one of them.

      F*ck Feelings explains that, in most cases, you have not failed and do not need to try harder or wait longer for improvement to begin; instead, you need to accept that life is hard and your frustrated efforts are a valuable guide to identifying what you can’t change. After urging you to accept whatever it is you can’t change—about your personality, behavior, spouse, kid, feelings, boss, country, pet, etc.—the F*ck Feelings approach shows you how to become much more effective at managing life’s impossible problems, instead of vainly and persistently trying to change them. If you’re willing to accept what you can’t change, we have many positive suggestions for improving the way you manage the shit on your plate—beginning with not wasting time repeating what hasn’t been working.

      Your issue may be the love or hate you wish you could stop, the urge to drink or drug that you wish would go away, the blues you wish you could cure, or the spouse, kid, or parent you wish you could change.