The Complete Collection. William Wharton

it starts. It’s one-five-five; ours. Somebody must’ve given these trees as coordinates and called in division or corp artillery. I jump up and start running madly along the hill toward Reuth. The ground is bouncing and pieces of dirt fly around and thump into me. It’s hitting me in the face as I run, like running through a hailstorm or riding a bicycle behind a truckload of gravel. Then I feel something pull on my left arm and spin me around. I look down and there’s a small hole, shaped like an acorn, on the right side of my left wrist. A drop of blood is oozing slowly out of the hole. It’s dark red. I stop in the middle of the field and stare at it. I close my fist and the little finger stays stiff out. I turn over my hand and there’s no exit hole on the other side. Something breaks inside me and I’m crying. I can go back. I can go to a hospital and be operated on! I can talk to doctors, tell them I’m finished! The war is over!

      Another shell hits to the left and I’m knocked down. My ears are ringing and when I wipe my face, my hand comes away wet with blood. I feel all over my face but there’s nothing except where the dirt and pebbles have made little cuts. I start running again. I run till I come to a road on the outskirts of Reuth. I still haven’t seen anybody. I can hear small arms fire up ahead in the town. I see a hole dug on the side of the road. I’ll climb in there and wait till some medic comes for me. I have all the time in the world; the war’s over. Alfonso Columbato is going home as a wounded war hero. I hear another shell coming so I run forward and jump in the hole.

      The war isn’t over! There’re two krauts in the hole! I land right on top of them! They struggle out from under me and put their hands on top of their heads. I lean back in the hole and try to cover them with my rifle. I’m scared shitless and they’re smiling at me. The whole thing is crazy. They want me to end the war for them, too. Here we are, three guys in a hole, bucking for civilian.

      One’s an old guy, over forty; the other can’t be sixteen. Neither of them has a helmet, just field caps. They keep smiling at me. They’re glad I’m not killing them. I’m glad they’re there, now I have two excuses to go back. I’ll be the wounded war hero coming in with prisoners captured in hand-to-hand combat. Maybe this is the way all heroes are made.

      Then the stomping one-five-five starts creeping up the hill. Somebody’s changing the coordinates and marching it right up. The whole world seems to be coming down on us. One hits less than ten yards away and the walls of the hole begin crumbling. I feel panic. Here I am so close and now I’m going to get killed for nothing. I lean back and point my rifle at the krauts. I signal them to get up out of the hole. They’re not smiling now, they don’t want to go. I’m getting out of there and I’m taking them with me. I want to end the war for them and I’m going to be a big war hero on top of it all.

      They won’t move. I drive my rifle barrel into the ribs of the older guy and yell at him to get out. He jabbers away but he starts climbing and the young one follows him. They leave their rifles and keep their hands on top of their heads. I point with my rifle toward the trees. If anybody were actually looking, it really would look like some kind of war scene with the bloody hero forcing his prisoners back to the lines. I smile to show them that I’m on their side but I’m too scared to bring off a real smile. They have to trust me; we can’t hole up there with that heavy stuff coming in.

      We go about thirty yards down the road toward the trees when all sorts of shit comes down on us. This time it’s kraut artillery, not tanks; this is big. The two krauts hit the dirt, still with their hands on top of their heads. I’m sprawled behind them. The whole world is rocking. We’ve got to get the hell down to the woods and in a hurry. We’re going to be massacred if we stay out here in the open. I’m yelling for them to get up and get moving. They can’t hear me, they can’t understand me, and they wouldn’t move if they did. They push their heads deeper into the dirt. I could’ve just left them there and I should’ve. But I’ve got myself convinced I want these prisoners and I also think I know what’s best for them.

      I squeeze off a shot over the head of the older guy. He turns around and looks at me. There’s fear in his eyes all right. I give him the ‘get up’ signal with my rifle. He jumps up, then the young one, and they both start running with their hands still on top of their heads. I’m pushing myself up with the butt of my rifle when, BAM, it happens.

      I come to, covered with blood and gore. My rifle stock’s broken in two. I try to get up but I pass out again. When I come to a second time, I’m bleary-eyed, my ears are ringing, and my nose and mouth are full of blood. I sit and look up. The two krauts are on the ground in front of me. The shell hit between them and dug a huge hole there, at least one-five-five. I start checking myself out. Most of the gore is from the krauts. I feel a soggy soft spot in my groin, but it doesn’t hurt.

      I try to stand and I can’t. My head buzzes and I fall over. My leg won’t work. I crawl up to the two krauts and they’re both dead. I don’t know how long I was out but it was enough time for them to die; long enough for flies to find them. The sun is up full and it’s a sunny day. It’s the first sun we’ve had in two weeks. There’s no artillery. The world looks new. There’s no sound of fighting from Reuth. It all seems so quiet, I think I might be deaf. I try to say something to hear myself, but there’s something wrong with my jaw. I hear myself moaning as the blackness flows over me. It’s more like going to sleep when you’re really tired. As I pass out, I know that at least I’m not deaf; I heard myself moan.

      The next time I come to, I begin crawling toward the woods. I should just stay there and wait till somebody comes but I’m not thinking. I want to get off the road, out of the open, and into a shady place. I want to get away from the krauts. I hold my hand over the soggy spot and I can feel my intestines bulging against my hand when I move. I don’t have any bandage to put over it so I keep my hand there. It isn’t bleeding much. My head is getting clear. I’m thinking things out, trying to save my ass.

      I crawl down the field to where Richards is still stretched out. I crawl up to him and there’s no blood at all. I have just a minute when I think he might be ‘dogging it’, letting the war go by him, the way I am. His eyes are open and his mouth. He’s dead. I see the piece of shrapnel sticking out the side of his neck. It’s a long thin piece and it’s sticking out like a pen in a pen holder. The skin of his neck is bent in to fit around the rough edge of the cast metal. I’m seeing very clearly in the morning sunlight. I pull out the piece of shrapnel with my good hand. It comes out easily and there’s a short gush of blood. Richards’ neck bends so his face is against the ground. His eyes stay open.

      That’s when I begin cracking up seriously. I hear myself muttering ‘Richards is dead’ over and over like a prayer; it hurts and I can’t stop myself. I lie there beside Richards and can’t move.

      Next thing I remember, De John the medic is over me. He’s asking what’s the matter, where it hurts, but I keep muttering and crying. My jaw hurts up into my ears. Harrington is dead and I’m crying about Richards. Even while I’m crying I know it doesn’t make sense, but I can’t stop. De John tapes in my gut and puts on sulfa but doesn’t give me wound tablets. He looks at my face and pulls another bandage out of his kit. He starts wrapping up the bottom of my face and jaw down to the neck. I can see in his eyes that it’s bad and I’m glad. I’m glad for anything that’ll keep me out of combat. I know I’m even trying to section eight it now. I’m keeping on about Richards when it doesn’t make any sense at all. I’m trying to hold onto whatever advantage I’ve got. I don’t have any pride or honor or anything left. I just have a need to go on living.

      They get a litter to me, carry me back, and then there’s a ride on top of a jeep and into the field hospital. They put me down on a bloody cement floor. I see the dead ones piled in the corner, covered with blankets, boots sticking out. I look for Harrington, but all of them have two boots.

      Now I begin to get the idea that I’m not hurt enough, they’re going to send me back. A T-5 medic squats beside me. He asks me my outfit, name. It hurts too much to talk. I shake my head. He pulls out my dog tags and checks. He looks under the bandages. I feel myself sinking. I’m ready to cry again, to beg them not to send me back. This T-5 is being cheery and telling me it’s not too bad and I’ll be up and around in no time. I’m hating him. He makes out a ticket and wires it to