Welcome to My World. Miranda Dickinson

jaw made a swift bid to meet the brown carpet tiles. ‘Seriously?’

      ‘Seriously. My parents were scared of flying, so we always had holidays in Yorkshire, Wales or the Lake District. I love it there – don’t get me wrong – but I’ve always dreamed of travelling.’

      ‘So how come you’ve never just done it?’

      Harri loathed this question too. As usual, she dusted off the old excuses. ‘Life just didn’t turn out the way I planned it, that’s all. I got too involved in college, then Dad got sick and our holidays became respite care for him, with our relatives in Yorkshire and Cumbria.’

      Tom flushed a spotty shade of crimson. ‘Right, and then your mum . . .’

      Harri swallowed hard and looked down at the stack of brochures on the floor. ‘Yeah. So after everything with them I bought my house, got the job here and then I met Rob and started going camping with him.’

      ‘Camping?’ Tom laughed. ‘Wow, your fella knows how to give you a good time, doesn’t he?’ He ducked expertly, as Harri made a swipe at him with the last brochure.

      ‘Cheeky. I actually like camping, you know. Besides, Rob makes anywhere we go fun. I can’t tell you how lovely it’s been to have him in my life after feeling so alone without Mum and Dad. Yes, I’d love to travel, but right now, with Rob’s job the way it is, plus the recession and everything, going abroad just isn’t feasible for us. One day, it will be and then I’ll be off.’

      ‘Tell me about it. If I don’t save some money soon, I’m never going to be able to get out of this dump,’ Tom confided, lowering his voice in case their boss was earwigging from his office. ‘I mean, Georgie Porgie in there isn’t likely to give us a pay rise while he can use the “we’re in an economic downturn” excuse.’ His brown eyes twinkled and he jabbed Harri playfully with his elbow. ‘You really go camping with Rob?’

      Harri smiled. ‘Yep. Every year.’

      ‘Thomas! In the unlikely event that you actually decide to do anything resembling work today, that window display needs refreshing sometime before the end of the twenty-first century.’

      ‘Yes, boss.’ Tom winked at Harri. ‘Ever get the feeling that George was trained by the interception squad at MI5?’

      ‘I can hear your sarcasm from here, Thomas!’

      ‘Right, fine. Sorry, H, better go before George busts a blood vessel or shops us to the KGB.’

      Harri waved. ‘Have fun.’

      ‘Cheers. So – Rob does take you to different places camping, right?’

      ‘Of course! We’ve been all over – usually the Lake District but sometimes Snowdonia or Pembrokeshire too. We just drive around until we find a campsite and then explore the area for a couple of days before we move on. It’s nice to not be tied to a schedule, you know? And Rob’s great at planning little surprises for us. There was one time when we were staying at a site on a hill farm near Troutbeck and Rob arranged a candlelit meal for us, snuggled under travel blankets watching shooting stars in the sky over the mountains. I honestly couldn’t have been happier anywhere else on earth that night.’

      Tom’s spotty face was a picture as he walked away. ‘Ugh. Pass me the sick bucket, purrlease . . .’

      Harri’s tales of Rob’s makeshift romantic gestures were far better received by Stella, despite the fact that, as far as she was concerned, public displays of affection were nothing if they didn’t include luxury, indulgence and a hefty blow on a credit card.

      ‘I know your Rob is a sweetie, but why on earth hasn’t he taken you abroad yet?’ she asked, one Wednesday evening, when Harri had arrived for a chat after work. ‘He’s been in your life for seven years, Harri – you’d think he would’ve at least whisked you off to Paris or somewhere by now.’

      Harri dunked a chocolate digestive biscuit in her tea. ‘He says he just doesn’t feel comfortable being somewhere where he can’t speak the language. But I suspect it’s because he doesn’t like flying. His mum told me that a couple of years ago – I’m not supposed to know, but it makes sense when you think about it.’

      ‘I suppose so. Hey, maybe he’ll spring a big trip abroad on you when he pops the question.’

      Harri raised her mug. ‘I’ll drink to that!’

      Every year, Stella promised to take Harri abroad with her. Around January or February, she’d beg Harri to bring home the latest brochures from work so that they could spend happy evenings poring over impossibly gorgeous destinations. Over countless bottles of wine, takeaways and coffee-shop visits they would plan their Big Girly Adventure: ‘like Thelma and Louise without the death or guns,’ Stella would quip. But somehow, as summer approached, she would find a new man and get so caught up in romantic stuff that Harri would inevitably get invited for ‘a really nice meal out’ and receive a tearful confession somewhere around dessert. This would generally go something like: ‘I know I promised I’d take you with me this year, but before I could say no I’d agreed to go with [delete as appropriate] Joe/Mark/Matt/Juan [yes, really], but I completely, honestly promise we’ll go somewhere next year . . .’

      Despite the annual let-downs, Stella’s ill-timed romantic liaisons weren’t the problem. Neither was the recession, the weak pound or the rising cost of airport taxes. And, despite what Stella and Viv said, Rob wasn’t the problem, either. At the end of the day, it was down to her.

      Every year, Harri would entertain the notion of choosing a destination from a travel brochure at SLIT, packing a case and heading off somewhere on her own. But when she thought it through, the reality of spending two weeks by herself began to tarnish the dream. What was the point of seeing wonderful places if you had nobody to share them with? Unlike Viv’s son Alex, who seemed entirely at home in his own company, for Harri the prospect held no allure. Ever since her parents died, she had become all too familiar with the sense of aloneness – why would she want to take that with her to another country? One day, she knew she would be able to do this and love it. But until she could overcome the fear of the unknown, she was content to stay as she was. Surely holidaying with Rob in the UK was far more fun than being abroad alone, wasn’t it?

      In Harri’s world, there were two versions of herself: the confident, spontaneous one in her mind, who would throw caution to the wind and go wherever her heart desired; then the real Harri – thinking about things too much and planning imagin ary journeys from the safety of her little cottage at the far end of Stone Yardley village.

      One day, she frequently told herself, one day I’ll stop worrying about it and just go.

      So, instead, Harri would buy another travel book and spend hours poring over the intricate details of other people’s adventures across the world. She became an armchair traveller – fluent in three languages and a dab hand at pub quizzes whenever travel questions came up. The world in her mind was safe, constantly accessible and, most importantly, just hers – a secret place she could escape to without anyone else knowing. For years, this had been her solitary pursuit. Until she met Alex. Then, all of a sudden, she wasn’t alone.

      Chapter Three

       All About Alex

      A cold breeze blowing through the gaps in the grubby skylight above Harri’s head increases and small drops of rain begin to hit the toughened glass. She shivers and hugs her thin cardigan round her, feeling goose bumps prickling along her shoulders.

      Trying to take her mind off the cold, she looks around the vinyl walls of the cubicle, absent-mindedly reading the motley collection of graffiti. There’s quite a selection of revelations (‘Debbie is a dog’, ‘Kanye Jones luvs ur mutha’ and ‘Sonia likes it backwards’, to name but a few), along with some startling creativity (one wit has written ‘Escape Hole’, with an arrow pointing to a Rawlplugged scar where a toilet-roll holder once was). Over in one corner of the cubicle, by a rusting chrome door hinge, one small