Going Loco. Lynne Truss

fruity firmness about her, plus the easy elegance that is often found in people who, at a crucial moment in their teenage development, chose hockey club over Georgette Heyer. Paths divide at every moment of the day, of course. But Belinda believed in the universal hockey–Heyer divide most strongly. In her experience, those who at puberty chose solitary reading over group exertion may (oh, yes) have grown up to be brainboxes earning more money, but they could never quite catch up again in self-confidence with those hearty, practical girls, despite all their well-meant gym subscriptions in later years.

      Outside in the hall, Mrs Holdsworth ran her Hoover into a coat-stand, and said, ‘Shit,’ as it crashed to the floor.

      ‘I can’t sack Mrs Holdsworth,’ Belinda said.

      Linda shrugged. ‘I can leave her a patch of hall carpet. Where are the phones, by the way?’

      ‘What?’

      ‘The phones.’

      ‘One in my study, one in the hall.’

      ‘When I’m here, I’ll field your calls. Completely uninterrupted time is what you want, isn’t it? Shall I throw those newspapers away?’

      Belinda nodded. It was like a dream.

      ‘Okey-dokey.’ Linda smiled. ‘Well, the best thing I can do this afternoon is get some shopping and prepare the dinner. I’ll give you a bill at the end of each week. You’re in tonight? What time does Mrs Holdsworth finish?’

      ‘Four.’

      ‘I’ll return at four ten. And I’ll finish at six thirty. What are you working on this afternoon?’