Beg To Die. BEVERLY BARTON

follow her. As she descended the spiral staircase, her sister’s last question played itself over in her head. Or have you already been to town? Is that where you disappeared to last night after the party ended?

      What was Sheridan talking about? Laura had no memory of going anywhere after her engagement party ended. Why would she have driven into town alone? She wouldn’t have, would she? Don’t think about it. Just because you have no memory of the time between when you said good night to your parents and when you came to your room two hours later doesn’t mean you went to Cherokee Pointe to search for Jamie.

      But what if she had followed him to Jazzy’s apartment? What if during those two missing hours she’d done something stupid? Something terrible? She’d been so hurt and angry when she realized Jamie had deserted her on their special night and embarrassed that most of the people attending the engagement party suspected he’d left her to go to Jazzy.

      Just because years ago she lost several hours and had no memory of where she’d gone or what she’d done didn’t mean it had happened again. Just because she had done something bad that time didn’t mean she had this time. She wasn’t crazy!

      But what if I am? a frightened little voice inside her asked.

      Jazzy hadn’t slept a wink after Jamie finally left. He’d stayed two hours—an hour longer than she’d told him he could stay. And he’d tried his level best to convince her to let him spend the night in her bed. And truth be told, she’d been tempted. Maybe with Jamie, she always would be.

      But a person could overcome temptation. Although being tempted posed a problem, it was giving in to that temptation that wreaked havoc in her life. She supposed she was addicted to Jamie, the way another person might be addicted to tobacco or booze or drugs. You knew it was bad for you, knew it could kill you, but you still craved it.

      Although each time she turned Jamie away, it became just a little easier the next time, she knew in her soul that only death—his or hers—would ever free her completely. At this point in her life, she hated Jamie more than she’d ever loved him. And the perverse, sinister part of her wished him dead—but only in those darkest, most frightening moments when her instincts for survival overcame her common decency.

      There was no point mooning around in her apartment, wearing out the rug in her living room. All the restless pacing in the world wouldn’t take her mind off her predicament. She had to find a way—short of murder—to keep Jamie out of her life. Permanently. She could have Jacob or Dallas issue a restraining order, but that would probably have an adverse effect. Jamie would see it as a sign of weakness on her part and pursue her all the more, even if it meant his being arrested. With Big Jim Upton’s money, Jamie could afford the best lawyers and unlimited bail money.

      What she needed was to get out of the house, go down to Jasmine’s for breakfast, find as much work to do in the office this morning as possible. Jazzy showered hurriedly, then slung on jeans and a long-sleeved gold shirt. She grabbed a beige chenille sweater and her purse as she headed out the door. The air was crisp and chilly, the sky clear and bright. Already at six o’clock the little town was showing signs of activity. When she reached the bottom of the outside stairs that led from her upstairs apartment to the sidewalk that ran along the back of Jazzy’s Joint, she heard a horn honk. When she glanced up, she saw Dr. MacNair toss up his hand and wave at her. She waved back as he turned his SUV into a parking place in front of Jasmine’s, the restaurant she owned that was located beside her honky-tonk on the corner of Florence Avenue and Loden Street.

      Now why couldn’t she fall for a nice guy like Galvin MacNair? She’d bet her last dollar that he’d been as faithful as an old dog to his wife before she up and left him for her former high school sweetheart a couple of months ago. Why was it that nice guys seemed to finish last, when assholes like Jamie came out on top time and again?

      Poor Galvin. The whole town knew his personal business, knew his wife had left town, moved in with her former lover, and filed for divorce. Every motherly old woman in Cherokee County had made it her mission in life to console him and try to fix him up with their daughter or niece. So why didn’t she ask Galvin out? A new man in her life was just what she needed. But not Galvin. He just wasn’t her type. He was too damn nice. Too sweet.

      “Morning, Jazzy,” Galvin said as he got out of his truck. “You’re out and about mighty early.”

      “So are you,” she replied. “You don’t usually eat breakfast at Jasmine’s. What’s wrong, tired of hospital food?”

      “I decided to eat out to celebrate.” When Jazzy eyed him speculatively, he explained. “Nina went to Reno for a quickie divorce. It seems she couldn’t wait.”

      “Gee, Galvin, I don’t know what to say. Should I say congratulations or I’m sorry?”

      He shrugged. “Neither, I guess.”

      She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Come on inside. Breakfast is on me.”

      “That’s awfully nice of you, but not necessary.” He followed her into Jasmine’s.

      When she saw Tiffany, one of her waitresses, she called out to her, “Dr. MacNair’s breakfast is on the house.”

      “Sure thing.” Tiffany smiled warmly and showed the doctor to a table.

      Maybe Tiffany and Dr. MacNair might make a good couple. Forget it, she told herself. Don’t try to play matchmaker. You need to find yourself a man, somebody who’ll take your mind off Jamie.

      No sooner had the thought been processed than the door opened and Sheriff Butler entered the restaurant. Big, rugged Jacob. A six-five quarter breed who’d once been a Navy SEAL. Now there was a man for you. A real man, one hundred percent, through and through. She’d known Jacob all her life and loved him—like a brother. They’d tried dating back last year and found out after only a couple of months the reason they’d never dated before then. No sparks. Absolutely no sexual chemistry. She wouldn’t go as far as to say kissing him had been like kissing a brother, but they’d both figured out pretty quick that they were better off remaining good friends than risking their friendship by sleeping together.

      “Good God, has hell frozen over?” Jacob asked teasingly in his deep baritone voice.

      “Okay, so I recently said that hell would freeze over before I’d get up before seven, but there’s no need to be sarcastic so early in the morning.”

      Jacob removed his Stetson and nodded toward a booth in the back. “Join me for breakfast?”

      “Coffee, maybe.”

      By the time they slid into opposite sides of the booth, Tiffany appeared with a coffeepot. After she poured their cups full and took Jacob’s breakfast order, she headed toward the kitchen.

      “Want to tell me about it?” Jacob asked.

      “About what?”

      “I saw Jamie Upton’s Mercedes parked in front of Jazzy’s Joint in the middle of the night, after the place had closed.”

      “So?”

      “I thought you were finished with him.”

      Jazzy forced a smile. “Why couldn’t you and I have fallen in love? It would have made my life so much simpler. And so much better.”

      “I know it’s none of my business, but…did you let him spend the night?”

      “You’re right—it’s none of your business. But no, he stayed two hours and left. I have no doubt that he found somebody to soothe his disappointment.”

      “Maybe he went home to his fiancée. He is getting married in a few weeks, isn’t he?” Jacob lifted his cup to his lips.

      “That’s what they say.”

      After taking several swigs, he set the cup down. “Genny called me right before I left the house. I figure she’ll be getting in touch with you today.”

      “Is something