It’s Me or the Dog: How to have the Perfect Pet. Victoria Stilwell

Accentuate the positive

      Reward good behavior. Good things happen when your dog does well! Ignore or correct behavior you don’t want to encourage. Sounds simple, but many people do exactly the opposite without meaning to. Never, ever use harsh punishment.

      5 Perfect timing

      Get the timing right when rewarding or correcting. Dogs won’t associate a reward or correction with an action if you leave it too long to respond. You need to give feedback within one second of the behavior.

      6 He says, she says

      Be consistent at all times – and that goes for everyone in the family. Use the same commands and agree on your house rules. Can the dog sit on the sofa or not? Mixed messages confuse dogs and make them anxious because they can’t work out what they’re supposed to do.

      7 Know your dog

      Your dog is an individual with his own strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Whether he’s purebred or a mixed breed, there are breed characteristics to take into account, too. Go with the flow.

      8 Vary the picture

      Offer a variety of different experiences to stimulate your dog’s brain and senses. Dogs like to play and they get bored, just like we do. Don’t just train in the same place or using the same posture. Teach your dog to respond to you in every situation.

      9 Lifelong learning

      Start training early and keep reinforcing the learning all through the dog’s life. You can, and should, teach an old dog new tricks.

      10 Easy does it

      Make it easy for your dog to do well and succeed. Manage his environment. Put the shoes away so he can’t chew them. When you’re training your dog, accept failure as part of the learning process. Successful training requires patience.

Think Dog understanding your dog

      In order to train your dog, you first have to see the world from his point of view. Dogs aren’t human beings, but many people treat them as if they were – and the problems start right there. Your dog may be living with humans in a human world, but his instincts remain pure dog.

      Let’s take one example. You take your dog to the park, he runs around for a while, sniffing the ground, and then he stops and rolls in the grass. If you see the scene through human eyes, you assume the dog is rolling in the grass for the sheer pleasure of it. Maybe you think he’s found a new way to scratch his back. Both interpretations may be partially correct, but it’s also likely that he is rolling in the grass to cover himself in a particular, appealing scent (and one that you probably can’t even smell). Experts aren’t entirely sure, but it is thought that wolves cover themselves in scent to reinforce their status within the pack, or to disguise their own scent when hunting prey.

      That’s a simple example of misunderstanding dog behavior, and one that has no particular impact on your relationship with your dog. In many other circumstances, however, getting the signals wrong can give rise to more serious problems. Understanding how a dog learns and how he perceives the world will provide you with a solid foundation upon which to base your training, and a means of communicating effectively with your pet.

      Your dog may be living with humans in a human world, but his instincts remain pure dog.

      The pack

      Dogs and people are able to live together so successfully because in some ways the two species are very similar. Like us, dogs are social creatures. In the wild, the wolf, the domestic dog’s ancestor, lives in packs composed of extended family groups. It nurtures its young for a relatively long period, and it communicates with its pack members using a wide range of signals – both gestures and sounds. The pack is structured in a clear order or hierarchy, with a dominant male and female pair at the top of the group and other members ranked lower down, depending on age, sex, and abilities.

      Communication is vital for the survival of the pack. It allows members to coordinate attacks on prey, and it plays a key role in establishing bonds within the group. Just as important, it reinforces the pecking order so that each pack member knows its place in the scheme of things. Many people wrongly assume that if left to their own devices, dogs would constantly fight for control and dominance. The reverse is actually true. Violence is an exception in wild dog or wolf behavior; deference is the norm. In fact, the hierarchy in packs is expressly designed to prevent the disruption of fighting, as well as to ensure that in times of crisis, the strongest survives to the benefit of the species as a whole.

      Why you have to be top dog

      When you bring a puppy or dog into your home, he becomes an important part of the family unit. In order for your dog to thrive, he needs a leader – and that leader has to be you.

      You are your dog’s guide to the weird and wonderful domestic environment in which he finds himself. Dogs may have been human companions for thousands of years, but that does not make it any easier for them to live by your rules without clear direction. When you are the leader, the dog will take his cues from you and settle much more confidently into your home.

      Some breeds are naturally more dominant than others, as are some individual dogs. But all dogs are happier and better behaved when they have constructive direction and clear boundaries to follow. If they know all good things in life come through you – including food, toys, praise, petting, and attention – they are more likely to listen to you.

      Many people wrongly think that punishment is the best way to show their dog who’s boss. In the past, a lot of dog training was overly corrective, using painful choke chains, for example, or the occasional smack. Hurting a dog is always wrong. It is also counterproductive. When you hit a dog, you teach him to fear you, you break his trust, and you weaken his confidence. Insecure dogs are the ones who are more likely to lash out in an aggressive display. It’s understandable – you’ve given them nowhere else to go.

      So how do you show the dog that you’re the leader? Well, this is where an understanding of dog behavior really comes into its own.

      Calm authority

      As a leader you must show calm authority. Think of yourself as the managing director of your company. It is much easier for people to follow a boss who is calm and in control. Dogs pick up every nuance of human behavior. When we’re upset, anxious, nervous, or stressed, our moods rub off on our four-legged friends. Projecting a calm, confident, and happy image will speak volumes to your dog.

      Attention

      Dogs, as social creatures, thrive on attention and are miserable when they are isolated. Attention can be a powerful reward for some dogs, so use it wisely in order to reinforce good behavior. Initiate contact on your terms. In the same way, ignoring your dog can help him to calm down if he is overly boisterous when he greets you. Wait until he has settled himself and then reward his calm with your attention.

      Relationship

      A good relationship is based on cooperation, not dominance. There is still a big trend in the United States to use more dominant training methods such as leash jerks and choke chains to stop pulling, “Alpha rolls” (where a dog is forcefully put on its side in an attempt to make the dog submissive and correct negative behavior), and other harsh punishments such as hitting and shouting. This kind of training has proven not only to be dangerous (many people get bitten as a result) but psychologically damaging (most negative behavior is due to a dog’s insecurity, not dominance, so using harsh punishment serves to heighten that insecurity and make the negative behavior worse). The real sadness, though, is that dominance training teaches a dog to respond out of fear, damaging that important human-animal bond. Harsh punishment