Home Truths. Freya North

      Penny looked up. The waitress behind the counter was offering her a pink plastic spoon on which was a furl of ice cream the colour of butter and the texture of suede.

      ‘It’s a new flavour. Banudge-Nudge.’

      ‘Banudge-Nudge,’ Penny marvelled at the appetizing name, accepting the sample.

      ‘Banana, double fudge – half fat. Delicious, hey? You want a scoop?’

      Penny glanced swiftly along across the colourful tubs like a pianist travelling the length of a keyboard with a single finger. ‘You know what,’ she said, ‘actually I think I’ll sit and have a sundae.’

      ‘You take a load off,’ the woman encouraged her. ‘Menus are on the tables. Juliette’ll be right over.’

      Aren’t the staff great, Penny thought, they give you long enough with the menu so that you’re truly salivating and desperate to order. ‘I’ll have Chippy Chippy Bang Bang, please,’ she said, just as soon as she was aware that the waitress hovered, ‘with hot chocolate sauce. And nuts. And Lucky Charms. Hell, why not.’

      The waitress brought over the sundae, perfectly presented in a pretty frosted dish, oozing with sauce and smothered in extras.

      ‘Enjoy,’ she said.

      ‘Oh, I will,’ Penny assured her, ‘thank you very much.’ She sensed the waitress linger, so with the long elegant spoon she dug up a glut of sundae and held it aloft as if to say cheers. Penny experienced a sensory burst that was delicious and exquisitely sweet and intensely painful. She closed her eyes. She closed her eyes to appreciate the taste. She closed her eyes because it hurt, because she suffered from sensitive gums and always seemed to forget the fact where ice cream was concerned. She closed her eyes because she used to bring Bob here when ice cream was the only thing he found digestible and that didn’t taste metallic from the chemotherapy. That was the sweetest thought, and that’s what hurt the most.

      When Penny left, leaving an empty dish and a grateful tip, the waitress Juliette who had served her turned to Gloria behind the counter.

      ‘I recognize her – do you?’

      ‘Not especially,’ Gloria said.

      ‘Sure you do – she used to come in, with her husband I guess. You do remember him. He was sick. They used to sit right there. Sometimes she’d spoon it for him, feed him. Like a child.’

      ‘Hey, I do remember,’ said Gloria, ‘but that was a few months back.’

      ‘Yes. But today she comes in on her own,’ Juliette said.

      ‘You think he died?’

      ‘I guess,’ said Juliette. ‘Sad.’

      Noni invited Penny to the cinema again the following week but Penny thanked her and declined, citing other plans. She took herself back to the ice-cream parlour, which was no less empty though the day was dull and the weather was now too cold to snow.

      ‘Hi,’ said the counter waitress, ‘have a taste.’ The pink spoon, today laden with an ice cream the colour of coal, was passed to Penny.

      ‘Liquorice,’ Penny said, having assessed it with the commitment of a sommelier.

      ‘And?’ said the waitress.

      Penny tasted it again. ‘I’m not sure – there’s something. I can’t—’

      ‘Raspberry.’

      ‘Raspberry,’ Penny marvelled, ‘and liquorice. Fancy that.’ And she went to the same table she’d sat at the week before. The one in the window, furthest from the table in the corner she used to seat Bob at.

      ‘Hi, I’m Juliette,’ the younger waitress came over to take her order. ‘How are we today? You set?’

      ‘I’m good,’ said Penny, ‘and I’d like a scoop of that liquorice one.’

      ‘You should get a sherbet with that – brings out the flavour.’ Juliette was quite forthright about that. Penny looked up. The girl looked like a confection herself, in her uniform striped the colours of apricot and strawberry, her hair in a high pony-tail, a jaunty little pink-peaked thing on her head, her name in copperplate across it. ‘I’d recommend lychee,’ Juliette said and Penny nodded.

      When Juliette brought the bowl over, Penny took a small taste and nodded her approval. Her gums didn’t seem so sensitive today. She didn’t have to close her eyes so often. But there again, she’d abstained from hot chocolate sauce or candy toppings. And Bob had not liked liquorice at all. She felt relaxed, as though she needn’t scurry away just as soon as she finished. So when the waitress suggested a cup of coffee, Penny accepted.

      ‘Excuse me, ma’am,’ the waitress said after placing the cup and turning the saucer so that the handle was correctly placed. Penny looked up and read the girl’s name again. Juliette. Well, Juliette looked a little concerned. ‘I don’t mean to – well, Gloria and I, we just. We remember you from the summer, from the fall. You used to come in with the gentleman? He was – he was.’

      How old? Penny thought. Early to mid-twenties, she guessed. Nice-looking in a plain way, perhaps nicer-looking on account of her politeness and her slightly shy sweetness.

      ‘Is he?’ Juliette was bending down a little, as if in a reverential curtsy. ‘Was he?’

      ‘He was my husband,’ Penny told her. ‘He died. Near enough two months ago.’

      ‘Oh I’m so sorry,’ said Juliette, instinctively clutching her heart for emphasis. It touched Penny. It was as if everyone, no matter how little they knew Bob, had been rooting for him to pull through.

      ‘Thank you,’ said Penny. ‘He sure loved this place.’

      Penny returned two days later. Not to avoid any social invitation, nor because she had a craving for ice cream, but because Fountains felt like a nice place and seemed a good space to be. Comfort and warmth. Lovely warm chocolate sauce. Beautiful, pastel-coloured candy. Ice creams whose names brought a smile. Everything sweet. If you licked the blossom-coloured walls or bit the backs of the chairs, you’d probably discover they were made from candy. Everything there was sweet. The staff especially. They were like a personification of some of the ices. Pink Wink. Smile Sweetie.

      When Juliette brought over Honey in Heaven, with chocolate sauce and marshmallows, Penny spooned into it but then spoke before tasting. ‘We were married thirty years nearly,’ she said. She looked up. Juliette didn’t seem taken aback by the information, her expression invited Penny to continue. ‘He called me dear. Always did, right from the start. Good morning, dear. Well dear, I’ll be off to work now. I’m home, dear. What a nice supper, dear, shall I fix the coffee? It may have sounded formal, but I always heard it as charming and old-fashioned.’ Penny tasted the ice cream. Heavenly indeed. She had two more spoonfuls but Juliette stood beside her, quietly attentive. ‘I guess you wouldn’t call us a lovey-dovey couple. But we were a good team.’

      Juliette was shaking her head shyly. ‘I watched you feed him,’ she said very quietly. ‘That’s far more beautiful than lovey-dovey. It must be so hard – but I guess it’s a blessing that his suffering should be over, that he is at peace.’

      ‘I’m not a superstitious type,’ Penny said, working her spoon busily against the sundae as she spoke, ‘I don’t believe in astro-mumbo-jumbo, I pooh-pooh voices from the dead, I don’t do karma and yin-yang spirit guides; you know? But when Bob was fading I’d whisper to him, over and over, Find a way, Bob, find a way to be with me. Stay in touch. Send a message. Show me a sign. Promise me?’

      ‘I believe,’ Juliette confided with quiet earnestness, while Penny ate.

      ‘Nothing,’ Penny said gruffly as if disappointed by Juliette’s response. ‘I haven’t seen any signs, I haven’t felt warmth – nothing at all. Just the icy emptiness of being on my own.’ Her hand formed a fist around