The Idol. Vadim Kycherenko

you really can’t live without it. But please, don’t blame me in case the news is bad.

      Levan. I won’t, don’t worry.

      Mikhalych. Hey guys, you see, I’ve warned him!

      Sumyatov. Sure. You can refer to us as witnesses just in case.

      Mikhalych. Absolutely! Can I learn your names?

      Sumyatov. Cyrill Sumyatov.

      Alla. Alla Bokova.

      Mikhalych. You can call me Мikhalych. You have done me a favor I won’t forget it. (Leaves).

      Levan. What a man he is, I can’t understand…

      Sumyatov. An odd fellow, I would say.

      Alla. Or maybe another madman?

      Sumyatov. It looks like. I am afraid I could go crazy here myself. The ambience and the landscape are quite suitable.

      Alla. Do not worry, it’s not going to happen with you.

      Sumyatov. Then what is going to happen?

      Alla. It’s a secret. However, if you kindly ask me maybe I am going to open it.

      Sumyatov. Please do me a favor. You have really intrigued me!

      Alla. Okay, listen. And don’t say that you haven’t heard. For example, you, men, desperately need beauty contests…

      Sumyatov. What for?

      Alla. Come on, you are not a kid… Take a guess. Well, don’t interrupt me!

      Сумятов. Okay, I am as dumb as a fish.

      Alla. However we, women, also need some kind of consolation in our lives, don’t you think so?

      Sumyatov. It’s up to you.

      Alla. Believe me, this is true.

      Sumyatov. So, what can console you? I have no idea.

      Alla. A mere trifle.

      Sumyatov. So, what is it?

      Alla. It is enough for us to know there real men still exist in this world, and they haven’t died out like mammoths.

      Sumyatov. You are talking about the tamers of mammoths?!

      Alla. Let it be your way. And don’t look at me so ironically.

      Sumyatov. Not at all, I assure you!

      Alla. I would say more. If such men don’t exist they should be invented.

      Sumyatov. I guess modern men have done a bad turn to you…

      Alla. Oh, those modern men! These sad and tiresome creatures are enable to bring happiness even in bed, not to mention other things.

      Sumyatov. What are you talking about?

      Alla. I say what I think.

      Sumyatov. Then poor you…

      Alla. Oh, don’t mention it. You’d better feel sorry for you.

      Sumyatov. Why?

      Alla. In case If we, women, would suddenly give up our romantic dreams. Who knows, where could it lead?

      Sumyatov. Most likely to the fine aggressive amazons?

      Alla. That’s why I am saying: don’t attempt upon dreams!

      Sumyatov. Is it so dangerous?

      Alla. Do not look so scared. I am not threatening you so far.

      Sumyatov. Thanks a lot.

      Victor Mancev enters.

      Mancev. Levan, was there an evening mail today?

      Levan. Sure there was, dear.

      Манцев. What about me? Is it a letter or a telegram?

      Levan. Sorry, my friend. Maybe tomorrow, eh?

      Mancev. Let’s hope for the best.

      Anna and Vasil Korobko, as well as Oleg Tomov enter.

      Tomov. Oh, what a nice walk we just had, guys! (Singing). «A division was moving forward through the valleys and hills…”

      Anna. It’s so quiet in the mountains by the evening, isn’t it, Vasil

      Vasil. \speaking with a Ukrainian accent\ It sure is, my sweat heart!

      Anna. I’d like some tea! I am feeling cold a bit.

      Vasil. Levan, two cups of tea, please!

      Levan. Would you like some cakes? They are absolutely fresh.

      Vasil. No, I don’t need them.

      Levan. Don’t need, don’t need! Again, the cakes are going to get dry. Take your tea and go, got it?!

      Vasil. Annushka, please drink your tea while it’s hot.

      Anna. Thanks, my dear!

      Tomov. I’d have a stiffener now, what about you, Vasil? Just a little bit, since I am so tired.

      Vasil. That’s true. But I don’t need it.

      Tomov. Or maybe your wife makes you save money? So, just tell me the truth, don’t wag the tail like a dog.

      Anna. Shame on you, Oleg!

      Tomov. Go, tell me!

      Vasil. Yes, a wife is a wife.

      Anna. Got it?!

      Tomov. You are such boring people. One can’t even have fun with you.

      Anna. Why can’t? You are welcome but mind your jokes. Levanchik, dear, was there some mail?

      Levan. Are you also waiting for a letter, eh?

      Anna. Don’t be so curious. It doesn’t become to you!

      Levan. What have I said? Why are you getting angry? Would you like a newspaper?

      Anna. Take a guess!

      Levan. You think I spare it, eh?

      Tomov. Anna, Levan is a good guy. Don’t beat him, you will need him in future.

      Anna. Go on, the floor is yours… (taking a newspaper).

      Vasil. What are they saying, Annuska?

      Tomov. What can they say? Just some idle things for emotional girls and old people.

      Anna. Oleg, you are a pain in the neck. How many people told you this?

      Tomov. Surprisingly, you are the only for today. Oh man! And she is my best friend’s wife!

      Alla. Aren’t you going to defend honor?

      Sumyatov. No, thanks.

      Alla. Are you consoling yourself with the thought that It wasn’t addressed to you?

      Sumyatov. It might be to me also. Whatever!

      Anna. Oh, guys, I can’t believe it!

      Levan. Hey, what’s that? Why are you shouting, eh?

      Vasil. Can I look at it?

      Tomov. It’s him! He looks so real.

      Mancev. What’s the matter?

      Anna. (reading). «On the photo: an adventurous conqueror of the forbidding Devil’s Fang mountain-climber Victor Mancev».

      Tomov. Vityok, can I shake your brave hand?

      Mancev. Why is there me only?

      Vasil. Don’t get upset, we don’t mind at all.

      Mancev. But why?!

      Anna. Oh, there is an urgent message here.

      Tomov. What’s that?

      Anna. Don’t tear up the newspaper!

      Mancev. Anna, read aloud.

      Anna. (reading). «Avalanche in Mountains».

      Tomov. Hey, everybody get silent!

      Anna.