Dumps – A Plain Girl. Meade L. T.

were a sop in the pan; but oh, how we did long for a piece of the steak! That was the worst about father; he really was a most kindly man, but he was generally, when not absorbed in lecturing – on which occasions, I was told, he was most animated and lively and all there – in a sort of dream. He ate his steak now without in the least perceiving that his children were dining off cold mutton. Had he once noticed it, he would have taken the mutton bone for himself and given us the steak. I heard Alex mutter, “It’s rather too bad, and he certainly won’t finish it!”

      But I sat down close to Alex, and whispered, “Alex, for shame! You know how he wants it; he isn’t at all strong.”

      Then Alex’s grumbles subsided, and he ate his own dinner with boyish appetite.

      After the brief and very simple meal had come to an end the boys left the room, and the Professor, as we often called him, stood with his back to the fire. Now was my opportunity.

      “Father,” I said, “I had a visitor this afternoon.”

      “Eh? What’s that. Dumps?”

      “Father, I wish you wouldn’t call me Dumps.”

      “Don’t fret me, Rachel; what does it matter what I call you? The thing is that I address the person who is known to me as my daughter. What does it matter whether I speak of her as Dumps, or Stumps, or Rachel, or Annie, or any other title? What’s in a name?”

      “Oh father! I think there’s a good deal in a name. But never mind,” I continued, for I didn’t want him to go off into one of those long dissertations which he was so fond of, quite forgetting the person he was talking to. So I added hastily, “Miss Grace Donnithorne called. She said she was a friend of yours. Do you know her?”

      “Miss – Grace – Donnithorne?” said father, speaking very slowly and pausing between each word. “Miss – Grace – Donnithorne?”

      “Why, yes, father,” I said, and I went close to him now. “She was, oh, so funny – such a fat, jolly sort of person! Only she didn’t like this house one bit.”

      “Eh? Eh?” said my father.

      He sank into a chair near the fire.

      “That is the very chair she sat in.”

      My father looked round at it.

      “The shabbiest chair in the whole house,” he said.

      “But the most comfy, father.”

      “Well, all right; tell me about her.”

      “She sat here, and she made me have a good fire.”

      “Quite right. Why should you be cold, Dumps?”

      “But I thought, father, that you did not want us to be extravagant?”

      “It is far more extravagant, let me tell you, Dumps, to get a severe cold and to have doctors’ bills to pay.”

      I was startled by this sentiment of father’s, and treasured it up to retail to Hannah in the future.

      “But tell me more about her,” he said.

      Then I related exactly what had happened. He was much amused, and after a time he said, with a laugh, “And so you got tea for her?”

      “Yes; she insisted on it. She wouldn’t let me off getting that tea for all the world. I didn’t mind it, of course – indeed, I quite enjoyed it – but what I did find hard was bringing up the hod of coal from the coal-cellar.”

      “Good practice, Dumps. Arms are made to be useful.”

      “So they are,” I answered. “And feet are made to run with.”

      “Of course, father.”

      “And a girl’s little brain is meant to keep a house comfortable.”

      “But, father, I haven’t such a little brain; and I think I could do something else.”

      “Could what?” said father, opening his eyes with horror. “What in the world is more necessary for a girl who is one day to be a woman than to know how to keep a house comfortable?”

      “Yes, yes,” I said; “I suppose so.”

      I was very easily stopped when father spoke in that high key.

      “And you have complained to me that you find life dull. Did you find Miss Grace Donnithorne dull?”

      “Oh no; she is very lively, father.”

      Father slowly crossed one large white hand over the other; then he rose.

      “Good-night, Dumps,” he said.

      “Have you nothing more to say?” I asked.

      “Good gracious, child! this is my night for school. I have to give two lectures to the boys of the First Form. Good-night – good-night.”

      He did not kiss me – he very seldom did that – but his voice had a very affectionate tone.

      After he had gone I sat for a long time by the fire. The neglected dinner-things remained on the table; the room was as shabby and as empty as possible, but not quite as cold as usual. Presently Hannah came in. She began to clear away the dinner-things.

      “Hannah,” I said, “I told father about Miss Grace Donnithorne’s visit.”

      “And who in the name of wonder may she be?” asked Hannah.

      “Oh, a lady. I let her in myself this afternoon.”

      “What call have you to be opening the hall door?”

      “Didn’t you hear a very sharp ring at the hall door about three o’clock?” I said.

      Hannah stood stock-still.

      “I did, and I didn’t,” she replied.

      “What do you mean by you did and you didn’t?”

      “Well, you see, child, I wasn’t in the humour to mount them stairs, so I turned my deaf ear to the bell and shut up my hearing one with cotton-wool; after that the bell might ring itself to death.”

      “Then, of course, Hannah, I had to go to the door.”

      “Had to? Young ladies don’t open hall doors.”

      “Anyhow, I did go to the door, and I let the lady in, and she sat by the fire. She’s a very nice lady indeed; she’s about your age, but not scraggy.”

      “I’ll thank you, Miss Dumps, not to call me names.”

      “But you are scraggy, for that means thin.”

      “I may be thin and genteel, and not fat and vulgar, but I won’t have it said of me that I’m scraggy,” said Hannah; “and by you too, Miss Dumps, of all people!”

      “Very well, Hannah. She was fat and vulgar, if you like, and you are thin and genteel. Anyhow, I liked her; she was very jolly. She was about your age.”

      “How d’you know what age I be?”

      “Didn’t I see father put it down at the time of the last census?”

      “My word! I never knew children were listening. I didn’t want my age known.”

      “Hannah, you are forty-five.”

      “And what if I be?”

      “That’s very old,” I said.

      “’Tain’t,” said Hannah.

      “It is,” I repeated. “I asked Alex one day, and he said it was the age when women began to drop off.”

      “Lawks! what does that mean?” said Hannah.

      “It’s the way he expressed it. I don’t want to frighten you, but he said lots of people died then.” Hannah now looked really scared.

      “And that’s why, Hannah,” I continued, “I don’t like to see you in your grandmother’s shawl, for I am so awfully afraid your bad cold will mean your dropping off.”

      “Master