Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious. Marsh Richard

not guilty along of me?"

      "I don't care what I brings him in. It don't make no odds to me. It ain't none of my affair. I've got my own business to 'tend to, and when a man's got to my years he don't care to meddle in no one else's. I'm willing to bring him in not guilty along of you, Jacob Longsett."

      "That's more like it. If there was more like you and me, George Parkes, we'd soon be outside of this."

      Captain Rudd, who had listened to this short dialogue without evincing any signs of approbation, once more endeavoured to urge the foreman to action.

      "Don't you think, Mr. Foreman, that the time has arrived for you to communicate the fact of our disagreement to the court?"

      Mr. Longsett made haste to differ.

      "Excuse me, Mr. Foreman, but, if Captain Rudd will allow me, I don't think it has. We haven't been here hardly any time. There's no hurry, so long as we're doing our duty. I daresay we'll all agree yet before we've finished. All we want is a little patience."

      "And something to eat," said Mr. Timmins.

      "Then do you mean to say," exclaimed Mr. Longsett, as he commenced upon another sandwich, "that you'd send a young lad to gaol, and blast his good name for ever, just because you're hungry?"

      "May I be permitted to make a remark?" The inquiry came from Mr. Tyler. He was holding his handkerchief to his ear; his general expression was one of suffering. "Considering how little of the evidence I really heard I don't wish it to be supposed that I have any objection to a verdict of not guilty. And I may add that not only is my earache driving me nearly mad, but my health, as a whole, as some of you know, is bad, and I am easily exhausted. Had I supposed that any of this sort of thing would have taken place I should have procured a medical certificate excusing me. I appeal to gentlemen to arrive as rapidly as possible at a decision, which will enable me to obtain measures of relief."

      "Hear, hear!" Mr. Longsett rapped with his knuckles on the table.

      "I'd never have come," declared old Parkes, "if I'd a known I was going to be kep' all day without my dinner. When a man gets to my years he wants his victuals regular. I didn't have hardly no breakfast, and I ain't had nothing since."

      "I tell you what it is," cried Slater; "I want my dinner, and I've got my business to attend to-this is the busiest day of the week for me. So far as I can see it doesn't make much difference how we bring it in. You say that if you bring him in guilty you're going to get him off: then why shouldn't you bring him in not guilty right away? If you bring him in guilty I can't help thinking that he ought to be punished-he won't care nothing for your bringing him in guilty if he isn't; while, if you bring him in not guilty, he'll thank his stars for the narrow squeak he'll think he's had, and it'll be a lesson to him as long as he lives."

      "There is," allowed Mr. Plummer, "a good deal in what Mr. Slater says."

      "There is one thing against it," murmured Mr. Moss. His voice was rather squeaky, and, as if conscious of the fact, he generally produced it as softly as he could.

      "What's that?"

      "The evidence. We are supposed to be influenced by the evidence, and by that only."

      "It struck me that the evidence was all one-sided."

      "Precisely-on the side of the prosecution. Since the case was practically undefended the presumption is that the prisoner had no defence to offer."

      "But, as practical men," persisted Mr. Plummer, "does it not occur to you that there is a good deal in what Mr. Slater says? If we find the lad not guilty we shall teach him a lesson, and, at the same time, not be placing on his character an ineffaceable slur. We might, for instance, state in open court, through the mouth of our worthy foreman, that we are willing to give the prisoner the benefit of the doubt."

      "But there is no doubt. Let us do justice though the heavens fall. Have you yourself any doubt that James Bailey stole Samuel Nichols's corn and hay?"

      "Ah, dear sir, there is only One who can say. He has no doubt. We are not omniscient."

      "That sort of talk may be all very well in a pulpit, Mr. Plummer. It is out of place in a court of law when we are dealing with ascertained facts."

      Mr. Plummer raised his hands and shook his head, as if he was sorry for Mr. Moss.

      "Let us show mercy, that we may be shown it," he all but whispered.

      "In other words," struck in Captain Rudd, "we are to do evil in order that good may come-even to the extent of prostituting truth."

      "I am afraid, in our present situation, these things are not arguable. Some of us, thank Heaven, see things through eyes of our own."

      "Precisely, and it is because they don't appear to be arguable that I once more suggest to the foreman that the court be informed that we are unable to agree."

      "And I again take leave to differ. Why now, there's" – Mr. Longsett pointed with his finger-"one-two-three-four-five of us as says not guilty. We're agreeing more and more every minute. I dare bet any money we'll all be like one family before we get outside this room. If the foreman ain't got no particular objection I'll have a moistener. I never could eat dry." Taking a black bottle out of an inner pocket in his overcoat he applied it to his lips. Such of the eleven as were not keenly observant ostentatiously turned their eyes another way. He took a long and hearty pull, then he smacked his lips. "Good stuff that; I always like a drop when I've been eating-helps digestion."

      "This is more than human nature can stand," groaned Mr. Timmins. "Mr. Foreman, I move that the magistrates be informed that we are unable to agree, and I request that you put that motion without further delay."

      "I second that motion," said Captain Rudd.

      "And I say no!"

      Jacob flourished his bottle. Mr. Timmins's visage, as he confronted Mr. Longsett, became slightly inflamed.

      "We don't care what you say. Do you think we're going to sit here, watching you guzzling, as long as ever you please? If you want to give a proper verdict you give one which is according to the evidence-we're not going to let you play the fool with us, Jacob, my boy."

      Extending the open palm of his left hand, Mr. Longsett marked time on it with the bottle which he was holding in his right.

      "Excuse me, Mr. Foreman, but perhaps I know a bit of law as well as the rest of you, and I say that the law is this, that before a jury can tell the court anything it's got to agree upon what it's going to tell. And what I mean by that is this, that before any one of us-I don't care if it's the foreman, or who it is! – can tell the court that we disagree we've got to agree to disagree-and I don't agree!"

      Mr. Moss put a question to the foreman.

      "Is that really the case?"

      The foreman smiled a wintry smile-and temporised.

      "I shouldn't positively like to say."

      "But I do say positively. You can ask the magistrates, if you like, and see if I'm not right. Why, if you go into court now and say that we disagree I shall say we don't! I shall say that if we only have a little more time we shall agree yet; all we want's a chance of talking it over."

      The foreman, pressing his fingers together, addressed Mr. Longsett with an air that was acid.

      "Then, according to you, if one member of a jury chooses to make himself objectionable his colleagues are at his mercy?"

      Jacob rose from his seat in such a flame of passion that it almost seemed he was going to hurl his bottle at the foreman's head.

      "Don't you call me objectionable, Mr. Grice! I won't have it! I'm no more objectionable than you are! I've got as much right to an opinion as you, and because my opinion don't happen to be the same as yours you've no right to call me names. If we all start calling each other names a nice state of things that'll be. A pretty notion of a foreman's duties you seem to have!"

      Mr. Grice, who was not pugilistic, turned a trifle pale; he did not seem happy. Captain Rudd, tilting his chair backwards, and thrusting his hands into his trouser pockets, looked up at the ceiling.

      "This is the sort of thing which