Melina Breaking Free. Dimitra Mantheakis

follow. And what was to follow, followed, and Mary’s thirst was again not quenched this time either. She felt anger well up inside her, looking at her husband who was satiated and rid of his load, smiling with satisfaction while she was still in suspense and hungry, with a sense of pressure in her vagina that had not found a way out to release her. She wanted to shout out, to tell him something, to make him concentrate on her problem, but, seeing his contentment, she did not dare. “Next time maybe things will be different. I’ll get used to accepting him inside me, I will get used to his rhythm, and doing that I will climax too!” she thought, and hung her hopes on it…

      But even this hope ended in disappointment in the times that followed, and they were many, as Anesti was brimming with youthful vigour and sexual release was a pressing issue for him. The fact that he wanted her and sought to copulate with her, excited Mary, but for her an orgasm had become a rarely stumbled-on treasure, or rather something belonging to an unseen world. The woman tried all possible positions since Anesti was particularly inventive, liking variety and whatever was different. The result was the same. Mary was driven to a frenzy by her desire to climax, with a fire burning her private parts that could not be extinguished by the entry of her husband’s organ, slowly or quickly, into her, or in any permutation. And the woman found refuge in the bath after their encounters, finding release by masturbating. “What do I need a man for if I can satisfy myself?” she asked herself cynically and in anger on occasion. Immediately afterwards she would repent for being unfair to Anesti. It wasn’t Anesti’s fault. His private parts were well formed and of generous proportions, and he was experienced in this field; even the frequency and variety he brought to their bed was enough to prove that he excelled in the sexual game. It was more than clear that the problem was hers. It was impossible for her to climax with a man inside her, even one who was dynamic and vigorous, and this realization almost brought her to a point of despair. She decided not to think about the matter in order for it not to become an obsession with her, and, additionally, to never tell Anesti about her inability to climax. She pretended to experience release, assuming a facial expression of ecstasy so as not to upset him, since, despite the fact that Mary discreetly guided him many times to do what she wanted and he followed her instructions willingly, there was never however a cure to her sexual problem…She would leave things as they were for it would be a pity to disturb the equilibrium of her otherwise harmonious marriage because of what, clearly now to her, was her own physical dysfunction.

      CHAPTER 5

      The day after Mary’s wedding Sarantos, not being able to get a moment of sleep because of the excitement of his unexpected and epic coming together with Melina, went to wait in a café on the edge of the town square since Melina would have to go by there to go to the street market.

      Sarantos knew that every Saturday Melina bought vegetables for her family. They didn’t shop in the town greengrocers’ shops except on exceptional occasions because their financial difficulties made it necessary for her to buy provisions from the street vendors’ stalls. Today was Saturday and Sarantos hoped that the girl would not sleep in as a result of last night’s wedding and the late night. And his hopes were not disappointed. At ten thirty he saw Melina approaching from a distance carrying her shopping net, and his heart skipped a beat in excitement. He stood up quickly and crossed the main street to accidentally – supposedly - find himself in her path. When she approached him he greeted her with an engaging smile, full of love and tenderness. She blurted out a dry “Good Morning” and moved as if to continue on her way. Sarantos was upset and started to walk alongside her.

      “Are we going to get together later, Melina?” he asked her. She stopped and turned to look at him with such a frozen look that one would have thought she was addressing some undesirable, and said to him. “No, Sarantos, we won’t meet today, nor in the future.”

      Sarantos was stunned. “But Melina dear, last night we…” he didn’t manage to finish the sentence.

      “Last night we both gave in to the madness of the moment, Sarantos,” she replied to him. “What happened was a mistake and can’t be repeated. Besides, you know that I am not in love with you and last night’s happenings were only physical. I don’t want to have a relationship with you and I would like, if you too have no objection, for us to forget everything and go back to the day before yesterday when we were just friends. I don’t want anything more than that,” she said, and turning to her right she walked away, leaving him stunned in the middle of the street. Sarantos almost collapsed from shock. He could not believe what he had just heard a few moments earlier. How could a woman abandon herself unconditionally with such sexual frenzy, and as a virgin at that, and the next day be able to utter such harsh words? “But what have I done to her to make her treat me like a stranger, like an enemy? I neither forced her, nor did I do something without her consent, nor did I insult her. She knows that I have adored her for years. Oh God, what can I do now? What has bitten her to make her throw me aside like used goods, talking to me about friendship and other nonsense?” he asked himself in desperation. Tremors ran up and down his spine. His kneed buckled, unable to hold him upright. Breathing as if someone were choking him he collapsed onto the first café chair he saw and ordered a coffee to recover. He was so agitated that he scalded himself drinking it, hot as it was, spilling half of it onto his trousers, his trembling hand unable to keep the cup still.

      This unexpected rejection was strange, unheard of, but primarily illogical he thought, if one took into account what had taken place the previous night. Sarantos tried to find an explanation, repeating her words over and over again in his head, but could find none. And suddenly his wounded pride made him angry.

      “If she wants to lie down with everyone for a night and then not to say even good morning to them, it’s her problem!” he thought, so primed with anger that he felt his cheeks burning as if they were on fire. He immediately regretted his cynical silent words, the result of the humiliation he felt at her harsh and unexpected rejection of him. For a second he thought of approaching her again to ask for an explanation, even to beg her, but her words – like knife stabs – came back to him. “I am not in love with you. Last night was physical.”

      There was no need to talk to her again on this subject. It was closed forever for him, following her declaration. Any attempt to approach her would humiliate him even more and would ridicule him. He wanted to have a friend at that moment to share a few words with him, Iakovos for instance. But he couldn’t share his thoughts because he didn’t want to expose Melina. He loved her deeply, you see, despite the deep wound she had made in his heart…

      He got up from the chair after cleaning his trousers with his handkerchief and a little water and with slow steps, like that of a convict, started off for home. Entering the yard he saw Eleni, his mother, digging among the geraniums. When she lifted her head and saw him she was surprised by his appearance. His face was deathly pale, his tall proud bearing was gone and instead she saw his hunched shoulders, his brown eyes looking dark, huge, and full of sadness. Eleni wiped the sweat off her forehead and ran to put her arms round him.

      “What’s wrong, my son? Are you ill?” she asked him.

      Sarantos shook his head in negation.

      “Come, tell me what is happening?” his mother said, drawing him to the wooden bench in the shade. Sarantos was so bound to her that he knew that she would listen to him with her heart and mind. He told her in a few words what had transpired with Melina and the developments that morning. Eleni listened without speaking. When he finished recounting his story she said to him.” My son, I have known Melina from when she was born. She is neither superficial nor a girl to indulge in casual sex. She has been through hard times in her life and both you and I know of these difficulties. Perhaps she is afraid of committing herself because she hasn’t got the strength to continue living in poverty and misery. And you, Sarantos, even if you married her, couldn’t change her life for the better. You haven’t got the means to do so. I know that you have been in love with her from the time you were a child but it seems that for Melina that is not enough. What is most likely is that she has exhausted her reserves of strength and doesn’t want to take you on board only to dump you later. Don’t bear a grudge against her, my son. Don’t let your pride