Babaji - Meeting with Truth. Shdema Goodman

happening. For example, I started experiencing new states of ecstasy or, as some call it, body orgasms in the absence of sex. My whole body would start melting into some kind of energy field and I would vibrate with delicious feelings that reached very high peaks. I certainly didn't expect it to be that good.

      While I was in India, I remember thinking of Babaji and calling his name. I felt a little foolish yet open to the possibility of his appearing to me.

      "Babaji, I am in India now. It is really you that I want to meet."

      At the end of my visit, I wondered if it would be healthier and a more genuine life for me to stay in India for good. I was very tempted. In the end, I decided to return home. Now that I knew what ecstasy was like, I would try to find a way to maintain it and to bring it home with me to my family and friends.

      I remained a disciple of this tantric teacher for one year. At times, I felt embarrassed and even ashamed of the idea of having a guru. Most of the time, however, I was able to feel high and content. Although I encountered a lot of resistance at home, for the most part my friends were intrigued and supported me in my new venture, at least at first. Later on they felt scared of my new knowledge (so I thought) and avoided me. I felt scared, too. At first I did not trust my judgment enough and longed for support. In contrast, now I feel certain and the results in my life are a good proof that this path is valid.

      I did not want to handle being considered a kook. So after one year of struggling with it, I decided either to totally commit myself to it or drop it. I didn't feel hon­est being considered a disciple to some and hiding it from others. So I decided to drop it.

      I conduct therapeutic workshops and educational seminars for people, like myself, who do not need deep rooted psychological work but who would like to improve the quality of their lives. In the middle of one of the workshops I was conducting, I announced that I was changing my name back to Shdema and that I was no longer a disciple.

      Within that very same week, I met Leonard Orr, who started talking about his meeting with Babaji. I nearly jumped out of my chair in excitement and disbelief.

      "You don't mean the Babaji from Autobiography of a Yogi, do you?"

      Yes, that is the one I am talking about."

      "Yippie," I shouted. "He is in a body?"

      "Yes, he materialized a body in 1970."

      I could not help feeling skeptical. It was too good to be true. Was it possible that Babaji was not a fairy tale after all? I felt both elated and suspicious.

      I have come to give, only to give. Are you ready to receive? I give everything, but few ask for the real thing I have come to give." Shri Babaji (1970-1984)