The Female Leader. Sonja Becker

values glitter on the surface and hide the inner being of a person. They are based on vanity, on false pride or false self-estimation. Of course it’s fun to dress up and go out and turn men’s heads, or to tell stories where we come across quite by chance as high principled heroes. But other ego values are simply vitriolic. Basically the ego always strives to bring together people who think like us, gets them to follow us and at the same time excludes people who don’t think as we do. This way of thinking can lead to the end of a career.

      The ancient Greeks called the masks that they used in tragedy “persona”. They represent a character that can’t be found in the original face. Many cultures have believed in such masks. There are the Melanesian peoples for whom there is no death, as their dead live on in demons: small carved figures who lie in the demon house. They don’t just represent the ancestors, they are the ancestors.

      In our culture it only depends on whether we see through the masquerade or not. We all bring forward superficial values in society and project ourselves, as we would like to be: great guys, good human beings, the social mask, our image. Many people use the laws of marketing and develop another character to become someone by ham acting an artificial figure that is constantly onstage. If the “persona” is the mask that we show in society, the ego is the make-up. We paint nice colors on our faces to appear more interesting and more important and to hide our true face. It is a childish way of drawing attention to yourself. To develop into a person you only need to wipe the character cosmetics off your cheeks and just lower your guard to see yourself as others see you. The mirror that shows you how you really are is society.

      You need courage to find and develop your own values. For often other values determine our lives. Possibly we have pursued a course of studies which our parents are proud of, not us. Perhaps we have shone in a subject so that we were forced into it rather than choosing it ourselves. At the moment when you come out with your real values and goals – often after a tragedy – people around you will be shocked. But when the puzzle stage is over your dream begins. You have established the first roots of the performance scale tree. Now strictly speaking it can only lead upwards.

      Partners worth their weight in gold

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      hen you build up a network of people, you look around for people who have the same values as yourself – which is not to be confused with a peer group which takes everything you say as gospel and excludes everything else. Sharing the same values means having the same desires and perceptions.

      This is how you can recognize the compatibility between people. If their values, desires and perceptions don’t correspond to those of their potential partners, they will not be suited fundamentally. Sympathy has more power than you think. As a rule cooperation doesn’t last long if you are not on the same wavelength.

      To find the right people you have to communicate your real values – the values of your personality! Explain what is important to you without pretending. Let everyone know where you stand or you risk deeply disappointing others. Surrounded by the wrong people, people who have other values than you, you can’t build a successful career or live a satisfying life.

      A good way of finding out what kind of person a business partner or a new member of the team is is through the proverbial bottom line: money. The way people handle money shows a great deal about their character. Business conduct, payment practice and generosity are indicators of the culture of the firm, and you will either have a bad time with customers and colleagues or will surf with them on the same wave, as the case may be.

      As soon as a new player joins the team his character is crucial for the setup. Someone comes along who is supposed to take over the sales department and is at the same of the opinion that you have to drive up in front of customers in a BMW Model 7 to make an impression – long before you have earned enough money for such a car. He has to have the smart suit because it’s essential for winning over customers. In a restaurant he goes to the toilet just before the bill arrives and only resurfaces when it has been paid. Others keep money back until it no longer works, to the chagrin of their suppliers.

      Others on the other hand are so generous that they don’t notice that they are ruining themselves…Frequently this is a result of a way of winning others over. So there are countless possibilities of inferring the inner worth of a person from the palpable worth of money. Test it out.

      Protect yourself from great disappointment in this manner. And also from yourself. With the right people at your side you automatically build a protective shield around you that defends you from threats from within and without.

      If you like being generous, you can be happy that you have a treasurer who can tell you what you can and can’t write off against tax. Other team players tell you when a business partner is being airy-fairy. If your greatest value is your family for whom you exhaust yourself day after day so that you are too tired in the evening to play with your children, you must delegate the job onto reliable shoulders. If you know your priorities consciously and early enough you will develop a lifestyle that suits you and that protects what is important to you.

      Universal values: trust and sympathy

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      wo values stand right at the beginning of a successful career: trust and sympathy. You have to gain the trust of your customers before you can earn money. Trust in business means reliability.

      No one gives money to someone they don’t trust. Every customer has to feel right from the start that they can rely on you.

      As soon as money starts flowing someone is investing trust in you. Sincerity and reliability are the bases of integrity. Corrupt or dishonest enterprises are considerably more threatened with going to hell in a handcart.

      A devious person in his private life will also run a devious company. Whoever fails to stick to certain rules which have developed in markets, villages, tribes, bazaars and stock exchanges over millennia holds bad cards. “Business is sympathy” is one rule which unfortunately is increasingly ignored. Sympathy means to put yourself in the place of another.

      The vulgar neo-liberal thesis that the accumulation of capital by any means is right because the complete earning population gives back to benefit others through taxation is all too enthusiastically followed. But no one who only knows Adam Smith’s “The Wealth of Nations” from a distance believes that. In reality you have to look at the market with the eyes of an “impartial observer” who represents exactly the same morals that society maintains. They function according to the good old golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

      Treating your fellow human beings as you would like to be treated is not only a good philosophy but also makes a good company. How people perceive your company and your team is decisive for whether your product or service will be in demand. Never before has the sympathy factor been so decisive for commercial success.

      No one in modern business has to give money to someone he cannot stand. That goes for the greengrocer on the corner as much as for the car manufacturer. Both are only attractive to people who hold the same values. We all want good products and a measure of sympathy.

      When our basic needs are satisfied, the soul comes into play. We become like babies: we need recognition, devotion and tender loving care. Humans are through and through social beings, after all. Unpleasant people get what they deserve, standing on their own at the end – the greatest punishment there is.

      People who can stand on their own without having to assert themselves go into the service industry for others and are richly rewarded.

      People need tangible presents and heart-felt reality as much as they need air to breathe. That is why there are so many Hollywood films. They are based solely on sympathy. And entertainment is always good for the soul.

      Higher values: quality and service

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      ur modern culture is at last no longer based on the idea of exploitation, but on the idea of quality and service: the entrepreneurs of today think about the question of what people lack and which