Pirandello's Henry IV. Luigi Pirandello

(hurried and anxious) Hey . . . psst—Franco! Lolo!

      HAROLD What’s up?

      BERTOLD Hey. What’s he doing here?

      LANDOLF Wrong century—get out!

      ORDULF Get thee hence!—emissary of Gregory VII!

      HAROLD Be gone!

      GIOVANNI Leave off!

      ORDULF ’Tis forbidden!

      HAROLD This be sorcery!

      LANDOLF (to Bertold) A spirit conjured up by the Wizard of Rome! Quick, draw your sword.

      GIOVANNI (yelling) Stop taking the piss. The young Count has arrived . . . with a party . . .

      LANDOLF Ah! Great! Any women?

      ORDULF Good-looking?

      GIOVANNI There’s two gentlemen.

      HAROLD What about the women?

      GIOVANNI The Countess and her daughter.

      LANDOLF (surprised) Oh!—how come?

      ORDULF The Countess?

      GIOVANNI That’s right—the Countess.

      LANDOLF (to Bertold) Her daughter is engaged to the young Count.

      HAROLD And the men?

      GIOVANNI I don’t know them.

      HAROLD (to Bertold) A bit of content.

      ORDULF Messengers from the Pope—this is more like it.

      GIOVANNI Will you let me tell you?

      HAROLD Go on, then.

      GIOVANNI I think one’s a doctor.

      LANDOLF Oh, right, another doctor.

      HAROLD (to Bertold) You brought us luck!

      LANDOLF Watch us work the doctor.

      BERTOLD I think I’m out of my depth.

      GIOVANNI Listen—they want to come in.

      LANDOLF Here? She can’t come in here.

      HAROLD Now that’s what I’d call content.

      LANDOLF We’d have a real tragedy on our hands.

      BERTOLD Why’s that?

      ORDULF (pointing at the portrait) It’s her, don’t you see?

      HAROLD What do they want in here?

      ORDULF If Himself sees her he’ll blow his lid.

      LANDOLF That’s if he still knows her.

      GIOVANNI If he wakes up, you’re to keep him out.

      ORDULF Oh, easy!—and how’re we supposed to do that?

      GIOVANNI Bloody hell—use force if you have to. I’ve been told—get on with it.

      HAROLD He could already be awake.

      ORDULF Let’s go.

      LANDOLF Tell us later what’s going on.

      GIOVANNI Lock the door and take the key out.

      Landolf, Harold, Ordulf, and Bertold leave. DI NOLLI comes in.

      DI NOLLI All clear?

      GIOVANNI Yes, my lord.

      Di Nolli exits for a moment to invite the others in. The first to enter is BARON TITO BELCREDI, followed by DOCTOR DIONISIO GENONI, then COUNTESS MATILDA and her daughter FRIDA. Giovanni bows and exits. Matilda is about forty-five years old; she is still beautiful although she repairs the inevitable damage with heavy but expert makeup. Belcredi is lean, prematurely grizzled, slightly younger. Frida is only nineteen. She’s already engaged to Count Carlo Di Nolli, a stiff young man in full mourning. They enter nervously, looking at the room with curiosity (except for Di Nolli) and almost whispering to begin with.

      BELCREDI Incredible . . .

      DOCTOR Fascinating! The dementia carried through to the last detail.

      MATILDA Ah, there it is. Yes, yes . . . Look at it . . . My God . . . Frida, look . . .

      FRIDA Oh, your portrait!

      MATILDA No. Look. It’s not me, it’s you.

      DI NOLLI What did I tell you?

      MATILDA But it’s uncanny! Look, Frida—can’t you see it’s you?

      FRIDA Well . . . really I . . .

      MATILDA Look, Tito.

      BELCREDI Wouldn’t dream of it, on principle.

      MATILDA Idiot! He thinks he’s being gall-ant. You tell her, Doctor.

      BELCREDI Psst—Doctor—for pity’s sake—don’t get involved in this.

      DOCTOR In what?

      MATILDA Ignore him. He’s insufferable.

      FRIDA He plays the fool for his supper, didn’t you know?

      BELCREDI Watch where you’re putting your feet!

      DOCTOR Why?

      BELCREDI Hobnailed boots.

      DOCTOR Really?

      BELCREDI And you’re about to step on somebody’s toes.

      DOCTOR Oh . . . come on . . . what’s so strange about a daughter looking like her mother?

      BELCREDI Crunch, too late!

      MATILDA Why, what did he say?

      DOCTOR Nothing special.

      BELCREDI He said there was nothing strange about it. In which case, why did you act so stunned?

      MATILDA (enraged) For the very reason that the resemblance is so natural—fool!—because that’s my portrait and to see my daughter looking back at me was an amazing thing, so I was amazed—all right?—and you can keep your insinuations to yourself.

       Embarrassed silence.

      FRIDA Oh God, it always ends in a row.

      BELCREDI (apologetically) I wasn’t insinuating anything. I just happened to notice you didn’t share your mother’s amazement. If you were surprised at anything, it was at your mother being amazed.

      MATILDA Well, obviously! She didn’t know me when I was her age. But I caught sight of myself and I saw I was . . . just like she is now.

      DOCTOR No more than one would expect. Because for the daughter it’s just a picture, a moment caught and complete in itself. . . while for the mother it comes with