Crainquebille, Putois, Riquet and Other Profitable Tales. François-Anatole Thibault

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       François-Anatole Thibault

      Crainquebille, Putois, Riquet and Other Profitable Tales

      Published by Good Press, 2021

       [email protected]

      EAN 4064066462499

Table of Contents

       CRAINQUEBILLE

       CRAINQUEBILLE’S MISADVENTURE

       AN APOLOGY FOR PRESIDENT BOURRICHE

       THE FINAL RESULT

       PUTOIS

       RIQUET

       THE MEDITATIONS OF RIQUET

       THE NECKTIE

       THE MONTIL MANŒUVRES

       ÉMILE

       ADRIENNE BUQUET

       THE INTAGLIO

       LA SIGNORA CHIARA

       UPRIGHT JUDGES

       THE OCEAN CHRIST

       JEAN MARTEAU

       MONSIEUR THOMAS

       A SERVANT'S THEFT

       EDMÉE, OR CHARITY WELL BESTOWED

       ANATOLE FRANCE

      ​

CRAINQUEBILLE

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      I

      N every sentence pronounced by a judge in the name of the sovereign people, dwells the whole majesty of justice. The august character of that justice was brought home to Jérôme Crainquebille, costermonger, when, accused of having insulted a policeman, he appeared in the police court. Having taken his place in the dock, he beheld in the imposing sombre hall magistrates, clerks, lawyers in their robes, the usher wearing his chains, gendarmes, and, behind a rail, the bare heads of the silent spectators. He, himself, occupied a raised seat, as if some sinister honour were conferred on the accused by his appearance before the magistrate. At the end of the hall, between two assessors, sat the Président Bourriche. The palm-leaves of an officer of the Academy decorated his breast. Over the ​tribune were a bust representing the Republic and a crucifix, as if to indicate that all laws divine and human were suspended over Crainquebille’s head. Such symbols naturally inspired him with terror. Not being gifted with a philosophic mind, he did not inquire the meaning of the bust and the crucifix; he did not ask how far Jesus and the symbolical bust harmonized in the Law Courts. Nevertheless, here was matter for reflection; for,after all, pontifical teaching and canon law are in many points opposed to the constitution of the Republic and to the civil code. So far as we know the Decretals have not been abolished. To-day, as formerly, the Church of Christ teaches that only those powers are lawful to which it has given its sanction. Now the French Republic claims to be independent of pontifical power. Crainquebille might reasonably say:

      "Gentlemen and magistrates, in so much as President Loubet has not been anointed, the Christ, whose image is suspended over your heads, repudiates you through the voice of councils and of Popes. Either he is here to remind you of the rights of the Church, which invalidate yours, or His presence has no rational signification."

      Whereupon President Bourriche might reply:

      ​"Prisoner Crainquebille, the kings of France have always quarrelled with the Pope. Guillaume de Nogaret was excommunicated, but for so trifling a reason he did not resign his office. The Christ of the tribune is not the Christ of Gregory VII or of Boniface VIII. He is, if you will, the Christ of the Gospels, who knew not one word of canon law, and had never heard of the holy Decretals."

      Then Crainquebille might not without reason have answered:

      "The Christ of the Gospels was an agitator. Moreover, he was the victim of a sentence, which for nineteen hundred years all Christian peoples have regarded as a grave judicial error. I defy you Monsieur le Président, to condemn me in His name to so much as forty-eight hours' imprisonment."

      But Crainquebille did not indulge in any considerations either historical, political or social. He was wrapped in amazement. All the ceremonial, with which he was surrounded, impressed him with a very lofty idea of justice. Filled with reverence, overcome with terror, he was ready to submit to his judges in the matter of his guilt. In his own conscience he was convinced of his innocence; but he felt how insignificant is the conscience of a costermonger in the face of the panoply of the law, ​and the ministers of public prosecution. Already his lawyer had half persuaded him that he was not innocent.

      A summary and hasty examination had brought out the charges under which he laboured. ​

      II

CRAINQUEBILLE’S MISADVENTURE

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      P and down the town went Jérôme Crainquebille, costermonger, pushing his barrow before him and crying: "Cabbages! Turnips! Carrots!" When he had leeks he cried: "Asparagus!" For leeks are the asparagus of the poor. Now it happened that on October 20, at noon, as he was going down the Rue Montmartre, there came out of her shop the shoemaker's wife, Madame Bayard. She went up to Crainquebille’s barrow and scornfully taking up a bundle of leeks, she said:

      "I don’t think much of your leeks. What do you want a bundle?"

      “Sevenpence halfpenny, mum, and the best in the market!"

      "Sevenpence halfpenny for three wretched leeks?"

      And disdainfully she cast the leeks back into the barrow.

      ​Then it was that Constable 64 came and said to Crainquebille: