The Story of My Life. Egerton Ryerson

assembled to see the distribution of presents. The Christian Indians were requested to separate from the others, that they might read and sing. The company was much pleased, and Dr. Strachan prayed with them. On the following Sabbath, the Dr. visited the Credit settlement, and attended one of the meetings which was addressed by Peter Jones. Dr. Strachan proposed their coming under the superintendence of the Church of England; but after holding a council, they declined, deciding to remain under the direction of the Methodists. May the Lord greatly prosper his work amongst them, preserve them from every delusive snare, and may their happy souls be kept blameless unto the day of Jesus Christ!

      August 1st.—This day I have been admitted into the Methodist Connexion, licensed as a Local Preacher, and recommended tn the Annual Conference to be received on trial. How awful the responsibility! How dreadful my condition if I violate my charge or deal deceitfully with souls! Oh, God, assist me to declare Thy whole counsel! and help me to instruct by example as well as precept. How swiftly am I gliding down time's rapid stream! I am daily reminded of the uncertainty and shortness of life. I went to-day to visit a friend, and (as usual) smilingly came to the door, when behold! all was mourning and sorrow! An infant son had just taken its everlasting flight to the arms of Jesus. He was a fine boy, active and promising, but he had suddenly gone to return no more! The father's philosophy forsakes him now; parental feeling has uncontrolled sway. I recommended religion as the only sufficient support and comfort. I touched on the mysterious government of God; that truly "Clouds and darkness are round about him." yet "righteousness and judgment are the habitation of his throne." I pointed out the happiness of the beloved babe, which should lead us to devote our all to His service, that we might eventually share in the unspeakable blessedness to which the lovely infant is now raised.

      Aug. 10th.—My soul rejoices at the news I have heard from home, that my eldest brother (George) has resolved to join the Methodists, and become a missionary among the Indians. How encouraging and comforting the thought that four of us are now united in the same Church, and pursue the same glorious calling. My Father has become reconciled, and my Mother is willing to part with her sons for the sake of the Church of Christ.

      Aug. 14th—Sabbath.—Never did I feel my pride more mortified in the discharge of public duty. I was desirous of delivering a discourse, in Niagara, which would meet the approbation of all, after carefully adjusting the subject, by the assistance of a variety of authors; but through fatigue (having rode twelve miles), and embarrassment, I was scarcely able to finish. My heart felt hard and my mind barren, conscience reproached me that I had not acted with a single eye to the glory of God. In the afternoon, I threw myself on the mercy of God; my tongue was loosened and my heart warmed. Surely, "They that trust in the Lord shall not be confounded."

      Aug. 17th.—This morning a lady died with whom I had considerable conversation on the subject of Methodism, and on the propriety of her daughters joining the society contrary to her wish. She appeared to be satisfied with my account of the principles and nature of Methodism, but did not like to acknowledge the propriety of her daughters' proceedings, although her judgment seemed convinced as I adverted to the principles of her own church. I am informed that yesterday she said, "The girls are right and I am wrong." How comforting this must be to her daughters, who have entirely overcome her opposition by their kindness, affection, and gospel simplicity.

      Aug. 22nd.—Yesterday I delivered a discourse on the subject of Missions, for the purpose of forming a Missionary Society in this place (Niagara).

      September 3rd, 1825.—I took tea this afternoon at Youngstown, U.S., for the first time.

      Sept. 6th.—Had the pleasure of meeting my brother to-day, whom I have not seen for a year. How comforting to meet with those who are not only near by the ties of nature, but much more by the changing power of divine grace.

      Sept. 9th.—Have been greatly benefitted to-day by hearing Bishop Hedding preach from Rev. iii. 5.

      Sept. 16th.—I bless God for what mine eyes hath seen, and mine ears have heard to-day, being the first anniversary of the Canadian Missionary Society. The Hon. John Willson, M.P.P., was requested to take the chair. Several Indians, who had been brought to a knowledge of the truth, through the efforts of this Society, were present and spoke. How delightful to see the warlike Mohawk, and the degraded Mississauga, exchanging the heathen war-whoop for the sublime praise of the God of love! This is the commencement of greater things which the Lord will do for the aboriginies of Canada.

      Sept. 23rd.—I have this day received my appointment for York and Yonge street. Never did I feel more sensibly the necessity of Divine help. Help me, O God, to go forth in Thy strength, and contend manfully under the banner of Christ! Amen.

      FOOTNOTES:

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      [3] These voluminous diaries and journals are full of detail, chiefly of Dr. Ryerson's religious experience. They are rich in illustration of the severe mental and spiritual disciplinary process—self-imposed—through which he passed during these eventful years of his earlier life. They are singularly severe in their personal reflections upon his religious shortcomings, and want of watchfulness. They are tinged with an asceticism which largely characterized the religious experience of many of the early Methodist preachers of Mr. Wesley's time—an asceticism which strongly marked the Methodist biography and writings, which were almost the only religious reading accessible to the devoted Methodist pioneers of this country—J. G. H.

[4] In a previous and subsequent chapter Dr. Ryerson refers more particularly to this illness (pp. 28, 39, and elsewhere). It was a turning point in his life, and decided him to enter the ministry on his twenty-second birthday.—J. G. H.

[5] Dr. Ryerson refers in another chapter to the overtures which were made to him at this time to enter the ministry of the Church of England.—J. G. H.

CHAPTER III.

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      1825–1826.

      First Year of my Ministry and First Controversy.

      My first appointment after my admission on trial was to the (what was then called the York and Yonge Street Circuit), which then embraced the Town of York (now the City of Toronto) Weston, the Townships of Vaughan, King, West Gwillimbury, North Gwillimbury, East Gwillimbury, Whitchurch, Markham, Pickering, Scarboro', and York, over which we travelled, and preached from twenty-five to thirty-five sermons in four weeks, preaching generally three times on Sabbath and attending three class meetings, besides preaching and attending class meetings on week days. The roads were (if in any place they could be called roads) bad beyond description; could only be travelled on horse-back, and on foot; the labours hard, and the accommodations of the most primitive kind; but we were received as angels of God by the people, our ministrations being almost the only supply of religious instruction to them; and nothing they valued more than to have the preacher partake of their humble and best hospitality.

It was during the latter part of this the first year of my itinerant ministry (April and May, 1826) that I was drawn and forced into the controversy on the Clergy Reserves and equal civil and religious rights and privileges among all religious persuasions in Upper Canada.[6] There had been some controversy between the leaders of the Churches of England and Scotland on their comparative standing as established churches in Upper Canada. In my earliest years, I had read and studied Blackstone's Commentaries