The Anatomy of Melancholy: Philosophy Classic. Robert Burton

chaplain in a gentleman's house, as it befell [2007] Euphormio, after some seven years' service, he may perchance have a living to the halves, or some small rectory with the mother of the maids at length, a poor kinswoman, or a cracked chambermaid, to have and to hold during the time of his life. But if he offend his good patron, or displease his lady mistress in the mean time,

      [2008] "Ducetur Planta velut ictus ab Hercule Cacus, Poneturque foras, si quid tentaverit unquam Hiscere"———

      as Hercules did by Cacus, he shall be dragged forth of doors by the heels, away with him. If he bend his forces to some other studies, with an intent to be a secretis to some nobleman, or in such a place with an ambassador, he shall find that these persons rise like apprentices one under another, and in so many tradesmen's shops, when the master is dead, the foreman of the shop commonly steps in his place. Now for poets, rhetoricians, historians, philosophers, [2009]mathematicians, sophisters, &c.; they are like grasshoppers, sing they must in summer, and pine in the winter, for there is no preferment for them. Even so they were at first, if you will believe that pleasant tale of Socrates, which he told fair Phaedrus under a plane-tree, at the banks of the river Iseus; about noon when it was hot, and the grasshoppers made a noise, he took that sweet occasion to tell him a tale, how grasshoppers were once scholars, musicians, poets, &c., before the Muses were born, and lived without meat and drink, and for that cause were turned by Jupiter into grasshoppers. And may be turned again, In Tythoni Cicadas, aut Lyciorum ranas, for any reward I see they are like to have: or else in the mean time, I would they could live, as they did, without any viaticum, like so many [2010]manucodiatae, those Indian birds of paradise, as we commonly call them, those I mean that live with the air and dew of heaven, and need no other food; for being as they are, their [2011]"rhetoric only serves them to curse their bad fortunes," and many of them for want of means are driven to hard shifts; from grasshoppers they turn humble-bees and wasps, plain parasites, and make the muses, mules, to satisfy their hunger-starved paunches, and get a meal's meat. To say truth, 'tis the common fortune of most scholars, to be servile and poor, to complain pitifully, and lay open their wants to their respectless patrons, as [2012]Cardan doth, as [2013]Xilander and many others: and which is too common in those dedicatory epistles, for hope of gain, to lie, flatter, and with hyperbolical eulogiums and commendations, to magnify and extol an illiterate unworthy idiot, for his excellent virtues, whom they should rather, as [2014]Machiavel observes, vilify, and rail at downright for his most notorious villainies and vices. So they prostitute themselves as fiddlers, or mercenary tradesmen, to serve great men's turns for a small reward. They are like [2015]Indians, they have store of gold, but know not the worth of it: for I am of Synesius's opinion, [2016]"King Hieron got more by Simonides' acquaintance, than Simonides did by his;" they have their best education, good institution, sole qualification from us, and when they have done well, their honour and immortality from us: we are the living tombs, registers, and as so many trumpeters of their fames: what was Achilles without Homer? Alexander without Arian and Curtius? who had known the Caesars, but for Suetonius and Dion?

      [2017] "Vixerunt fortes ante Agamemnona

       Multi: sed omnes illachrymabiles

       Urgentur, ignotique longa

       Nocte, carent quia vate sacro."

      "Before great Agamemnon reign'd,

       Reign'd kings as great as he, and brave,

       Whose huge ambition's now contain'd

       In the small compass of a grave:"

      "In endless night, they sleep, unwept, unknown,

       No bard they had to make all time their own."

      they are more beholden to scholars, than scholars to them; but they undervalue themselves, and so by those great men are kept down. Let them have that encyclopaedian, all the learning in the world; they must keep it to themselves, [2018]"live in base esteem, and starve, except they will submit," as Budaeus well hath it, "so many good parts, so many ensigns of arts, virtues, be slavishly obnoxious to some illiterate potentate, and live under his insolent worship, or honour, like parasites," Qui tanquam mures alienum panem comedunt. For to say truth, artes hae, non sunt Lucrativae, as Guido Bonat that great astrologer could foresee, they be not gainful arts these, sed esurientes et famelicae, but poor and hungry.

      [2019] "Dat Galenus opes, dat Justinianus honores,

       Sed genus et species cogitur ire pedes:"

      "The rich physician, honour'd lawyers ride,

       Whilst the poor scholar foots it by their side."

      Poverty is the muses' patrimony, and as that poetical divinity teacheth us, when Jupiter's daughters were each of them married to the gods, the muses alone were left solitary, Helicon forsaken of all suitors, and I believe it was, because they had no portion.

      "Calliope longum caelebs cur vixit in aevum?

       Nempe nihil dotis, quod numeraret, erat."

      "Why did Calliope live so long a maid?

       Because she had no dowry to be paid."

      Ever since all their followers are poor, forsaken and left unto themselves. Insomuch, that as [2020]Petronius argues, you shall likely know them by their clothes. "There came," saith he, "by chance into my company, a fellow not very spruce to look on, that I could perceive by that note alone he was a scholar, whom commonly rich men hate: I asked him what he was, he answered, a poet: I demanded again why he was so ragged, he told me this kind of learning never made any man rich."

      [2021] "Qui Pelago credit, magno se faenore tollit,

       Qui pugnas et rostra petit, praecingitur auro:

       Vilis adulator picto jacet ebrius ostro,

       Sola pruinosis horret facundia pannis."

      "A merchant's gain is great, that goes to sea;

       A soldier embossed all in gold;

       A flatterer lies fox'd in brave array;

       A scholar only ragged to behold."

      All which our ordinary students, right well perceiving in the universities, how unprofitable these poetical, mathematical, and philosophical studies are, how little respected, how few patrons; apply themselves in all haste to those three commodious professions of law, physic, and divinity, sharing themselves between them, [2022]rejecting these arts in the mean time, history, philosophy, philology, or lightly passing them over, as pleasant toys fitting only table-talk, and to furnish them with discourse. They are not so behoveful: he that can tell his money hath arithmetic enough: he is a true geometrician, can measure out a good fortune to himself; a perfect astrologer, that can cast the rise and fall of others, and mark their errant motions to his own use. The best optics are, to reflect the beams of some great man's favour and grace to shine upon him. He is a good engineer that alone can make an instrument to get preferment. This was the common tenet and practice of Poland, as Cromerus observed not long since, in the first book of his history; their universities were generally base, not a philosopher, a mathematician, an antiquary, &c., to be found of any note amongst them, because they had no set reward or stipend, but every man betook himself to divinity, hoc solum in votis habens, opimum sacerdotium, a good parsonage was their aim. This was the practice of some of our near neighbours, as [2023]Lipsius inveighs, "they thrust their children to the study of law and divinity, before they be informed aright, or capable of such studies." Scilicet omnibus artibus antistat spes lucri, et formosior est cumulus auri, quam quicquid Graeci Latinique delirantes scripserunt. Ex hoc numero deinde veniunt ad gubernacula reipub. intersunt et praesunt consiliis regum, o pater, o patria? so he complained, and so may others. For even so we find, to serve a great man, to get an office in some bishop's court (to practise in some good town) or compass a benefice, is the mark we shoot at, as being so advantageous, the highway to preferment.

      Although many times, for aught I can see, these men fail as often as the rest in their projects, and are as usually frustrate of their hopes. For let him be a doctor of the law, an excellent civilian of good worth, where shall he practise and expatiate? Their fields are so scant, the civil law with us so contracted with prohibitions, so few causes, by reason of those all-devouring municipal laws,