The Anatomy of Melancholy: Philosophy Classic. Robert Burton

how should one please all?

      [114] "Quid dem? quid non dem? Renuis tu quod jubet ille."

      ———"What courses must I choose?

       What not? What both would order you refuse."

      How shall I hope to express myself to each man's humour and [115]conceit, or to give satisfaction to all? Some understand too little, some too much, qui similiter in legendos libros, atque in salutandos homines irruunt, non cogitantes quales, sed quibus vestibus induti sint, as [116]Austin observes, not regarding what, but who write, [117]orexin habet auctores celebritas, not valuing the metal, but stamp that is upon it, Cantharum aspiciunt, non quid in eo. If he be not rich, in great place, polite and brave, a great doctor, or full fraught with grand titles, though never so well qualified, he is a dunce; but, as [118]Baronius hath it of Cardinal Caraffa's works, he is a mere hog that rejects any man for his poverty. Some are too partial, as friends to overween, others come with a prejudice to carp, vilify, detract, and scoff; (qui de me forsan, quicquid est, omni contemptu contemptius judicant) some as bees for honey, some as spiders to gather poison. What shall I do in this case? As a Dutch host, if you come to an inn in. Germany, and dislike your fare, diet, lodging, &c., replies in a surly tone, [119]aliud tibi quaeras diversorium, if you like not this, get you to another inn: I resolve, if you like not my writing, go read something else. I do not much esteem thy censure, take thy course, it is not as thou wilt, nor as I will, but when we have both done, that of [120]Plinius Secundus to Trajan will prove true, "Every man's witty labour takes not, except the matter, subject, occasion, and some commending favourite happen to it." If I be taxed, exploded by thee and some such, I shall haply be approved and commended by others, and so have been (Expertus loquor), and may truly say with [121]Jovius in like case, (absit verbo jactantia) heroum quorundam, pontificum, et virorum nobilium familiaritatem et amicitiam, gratasque gratias, et multorum [122] bene laudatorum laudes sum inde promeritus, as I have been honoured by some worthy men, so have I been vilified by others, and shall be. At the first publishing of this book, (which [123]Probus of Persius satires), editum librum continuo mirari homines, atque avide deripere caeperunt, I may in some sort apply to this my work. The first, second, and third edition were suddenly gone, eagerly read, and, as I have said, not so much approved by some, as scornfully rejected by others. But it was Democritus his fortune, Idem admirationi et [124]irrisioni habitus. 'Twas Seneca's fate, that superintendent of wit, learning, judgment, [125]ad stuporem doctus, the best of Greek and Latin writers, in Plutarch's opinion; that "renowned corrector of vice," as, [126]Fabius terms him, "and painful omniscious philosopher, that writ so excellently and admirably well," could not please all parties, or escape censure. How is he vilified by [127] Caligula, Agellius, Fabius, and Lipsius himself, his chief propugner? In eo pleraque pernitiosa, saith the same Fabius, many childish tracts and sentences he hath, sermo illaboratus, too negligent often and remiss, as Agellius observes, oratio vulgaris et protrita, dicaces et ineptae, sententiae, eruditio plebeia, an homely shallow writer as he is. In partibus spinas et fastidia habet, saith [128]Lipsius; and, as in all his other works, so especially in his epistles, aliae in argutiis et ineptiis occupantur, intricatus alicubi, et parum compositus, sine copia rerum hoc fecit, he jumbles up many things together immethodically, after the Stoics' fashion, parum ordinavit, multa accumulavit, &c. If Seneca be thus lashed, and many famous men that I could name, what shall I expect? How shall I that am vix umbra tanti philosophi hope to please? "No man so absolute" ([129]Erasmus holds) "to satisfy all, except antiquity, prescription, &c., set a bar." But as I have proved in Seneca, this will not always take place, how shall I evade? 'Tis the common doom of all writers, I must (I say) abide it; I seek not applause; [130]Non ego ventosa venor suffragia plebis; again, non sum adeo informis, I would not be [131]vilified:

      [132]———"laudatus abunde,

       Non fastiditus si tibi, lector, ero."

      I fear good men's censures, and to their favourable acceptance I submit my labours,

      [133]———"et linguas mancipiorum

       Contemno."———

      As the barking of a dog, I securely contemn those malicious and scurrile obloquies, flouts, calumnies of railers and detractors; I scorn the rest. What therefore I have said, pro tenuitate mea, I have said.

      One or two things yet I was desirous to have amended if I could, concerning the manner of handling this my subject, for which I must apologise, deprecari, and upon better advice give the friendly reader notice: it was not mine intent to prostitute my muse in English, or to divulge secreta Minervae, but to have exposed this more contract in Latin, if I could have got it printed. Any scurrile pamphlet is welcome to our mercenary stationers in English; they print all

      ———"cuduntque libellos In quorum foliis vix simia nuda cacaret;"

      But in Latin they will not deal; which is one of the reasons [134]Nicholas Car, in his oration of the paucity of English writers, gives, that so many flourishing wits are smothered in oblivion, lie dead and buried in this our nation. Another main fault is, that I have not revised the copy, and amended the style, which now flows remissly, as it was first conceived; but my leisure would not permit; Feci nec quod potui, nec quod volui, I confess it is neither as I would, nor as it should be.

      [135] "Cum relego scripsisse pudet, quia plurima cerno

       Me quoque quae fuerant judice digna lini."

      "When I peruse this tract which I have writ,

       I am abash'd, and much I hold unfit."

      Et quod gravissimum, in the matter itself, many things I disallow at this present, which when I writ, [136]Non eadem est aetas, non mens; I would willingly retract much, &c., but 'tis too late, I can only crave pardon now for what is amiss.

      I might indeed, (had I wisely done) observed that precept of the poet———nonumque prematur in annum, and have taken more care: or, as Alexander the physician would have done by lapis lazuli, fifty times washed before it be used, I should have revised, corrected and amended this tract; but I had not (as I said) that happy leisure, no amanuenses or assistants. Pancrates in [137]Lucian, wanting a servant as he went from Memphis to Coptus in Egypt, took a door bar, and after some superstitious words pronounced (Eucrates the relator was then present) made it stand up like a serving-man, fetch him water, turn the spit, serve in supper, and what work he would besides; and when he had done that service he desired, turned his man to a stick again. I have no such skill to make new men at my pleasure, or means to hire them; no whistle to call like the master of a ship, and bid them run, &c. I have no such authority, no such benefactors, as that noble [138]Ambrosius was to Origen, allowing him six or seven amanuenses to write out his dictates; I must for that cause do my business myself, and was therefore enforced, as a bear doth her whelps, to bring forth this confused lump; I had not time to lick it into form, as she doth her young ones, but even so to publish it, as it was first written quicquid in buccam venit, in an extemporean style, as [139]I do commonly all other exercises, effudi quicquid dictavit genius meus, out of a confused company of notes, and writ with as small deliberation as I do ordinarily speak, without all affectation of big words, fustian phrases, jingling terms, tropes, strong lines, that like [140]Acesta's arrows caught fire as they flew, strains of wit, brave heats, elegies, hyperbolical exornations, elegancies, &c., which many so much affect. I am [141]aquae potor, drink no wine at all, which so much improves our modern wits, a loose, plain, rude writer, ficum, voco ficum et ligonem ligonem and as free, as loose, idem calamo quod in mente, [142]I call a spade a spade, animis haec scribo, non auribus, I respect matter not words; remembering that of Cardan, verba propter res, non res propter verba: and seeking with Seneca, quid scribam, non quemadmodum, rather what than how to write: for as Philo thinks, [143]"He that is conversant about matter, neglects words, and those that excel in this art of speaking, have no profound learning,"

      [144] "Verba nitent phaleris, at nullus verba medullas Intus habent"———

      Besides, it was the observation of that wise Seneca, [145]"when you see a fellow careful about his words, and neat in his speech, know this