The Life and Legacy of George Müller. George Muller

time before or since, I was often far from being in a spiritual state. I was not now, indeed, indulging in gross outward sins, which could be noticed by my brethren; but often—very often, the eye of my kind loving Father must have looked on me with much grief. On this account, I have no doubt, the Lord now, in great compassion, sent this heavy blow. I had not seriously thought of the great danger connected with childbearing, and therefore had never earnestly prayed about it. Now came this solemn time. The life of my dear wife was hanging, as it were, on a thread, and, in the midst of it, my conscience told me, that my state of heart made such a chastisement needful. Yet, at the same time, I was much supported.—When the child was still-born, I saw almost immediately afterwards, that this could not have been expected otherwise, for I had not looked on the prospect of having a child as on a blessing, which I was about to receive from God, but rather considered it as a burden and a hindrance in the Lord's work; for I did not know then, that, whilst a wife and children may be in certain respects, on the one hand, a hindrance to the servant of Christ, they also may fit him, on the other hand, for certain parts of his work, in teaching him things which are important to be known, especially for the pastoral work. The Lord now brought, in addition to this, very great sufferings upon my beloved wife, which lasted for six weeks, combined with a partial lameness of the left side.—Immediately after the eventful time of August 8th and 9th, the Lord brought me, in His tender mercy, again into a spiritual state of heart, so that I was enabled to look on this chastisement as a great blessing. May this my experience be a warning to believing readers, that the Lord may not need to chastise them, on account of their state of heart! May it also be a fresh proof to them, that the Lord, in His very love and faithfulness, will not, and cannot let us go on in backsliding, but that He will visit us with stripes, to bring us back to Himself!

      There was one point, however, in which, by grace, I had continued to be faithful to God, i.e. in my mode of living, and, therefore, in as far as I had been faithfully sowing, I now reaped abundantly; for the Lord most graciously supplied, in rich abundance, all our temporal wants, though they were many. Another reason for this may have been, that the Lord never lays more on us, in the way of chastisement, than our state of heart makes needful; so that whilst He smites with the one hand, He supports with the other.—We saw it to be against the Lord's mind to put by any money for my wife's confinement, though we might have, humanly speaking, very easily saved £20. or £30. during the six months previous to August 7th. I say, humanly speaking, and judging from what we had received during all these months, we might have laid by as much as the above sums; but I have every reason to believe, that, had I begun to lay up, the Lord would have stopped the supplies, and thus, the ability of doing so was only apparent. Let no one profess to trust in God, and yet lay up for future wants, otherwise the Lord will first send him to the hoard he has amassed, before He can answer the prayer for more. We were persuaded, that, if we laid out our money in the Lord's service, He would send more when we needed it; and this our faith, His own gift, He graciously honoured, inasmuch as He not merely gave us what we needed, but much more.

      On August 6th, just before this time of need, the Lord sent us £5. from a distance of about forty miles, and that from a sister, whom, up to this day, neither of us know personally. On August 7th I received £1. 0s. 9 1/2d. out of the box. August 15th, from a distance of twenty-five miles was sent £5., and from a distance of about seventy miles £1. August 18th, whilst preaching at Chudleigh, £1. was sent to me, and a brother sent from Exeter £2. August 21st was again sent from a distance of seventy miles £5., and August 23rd another £5. from the same place. Also, August 22nd, 16s. 9d. was given out of the box. August 24th, a brother, who is a day labourer, gave me 2s. 6d. August 31st, 5s. was given to me. September 3rd, whilst preaching at Chudleigh, £3. 10s. was given to me by a brother and three sisters. September 4th, a sister gave me a guinea, and also out of the box was given 9s. 8d. September 10th, £6. was given to me. Thus, within about one month, the Lord not only sent us nearly £40., but likewise all sorts of suitable provisions and refreshments, needful at such a time; and, in addition to this, the two medical gentlemen who attended my wife would not take any remuneration for their unwearied attention and kindness, during the space of six weeks. Thus the Lord gave us even more than we could have saved, if we had endeavoured to do so.

      November 16th. This morning I proposed united prayer respecting our temporal wants. Just as we were about to pray, a parcel came from Exmouth. In prayer we asked the Lord for meat for dinner, having no money to buy any. After prayer, on opening the parcel, we found, among other things, a ham, sent by a brother at Exmouth, which served us for dinner. Thus not only our own family was provided for, but also a sister in the Lord then staying with us.

      November 17th. Today we had not a single penny left. We had asked the Lord yesterday and today. We desired only enough money to be able to buy bread. We were reduced more than ever we had been before. But our gracious and faithful Lord, who never lays more upon His children than He enables them to bear, delivered us again this time, by sending us £1. 10s. 6d., about an hour before we wanted money to buy bread.

      November 19th. We had not enough to pay our weekly rent; but the Lord graciously sent us again today 14s. 6d. I would just observe, that we never contract debts, which we believe to be unscriptural (according to Romans xiii. 8;) and therefore we have no bills with our tailor, shoemaker, grocer, butcher, baker, &c.; but all we buy we pay for in ready money. The Lord helping us, we would rather suffer privation, than contract debts. Thus we always know how much we have, and how much we have a right to give away. May I entreat the believing reader, prayerfully to consider this matter; for I am well aware that many trials come upon the children of God, on account of not acting according to Rom. xiii. 8.

      November 27th, Lord's day. Our money had been reduced to 2 1/2d.; our bread was hardly enough for this day. I had several times brought our need before the Lord. After dinner, when I returned thanks, I asked Him to give us our daily bread, meaning literally that He would send us bread for the evening. Whilst I was praying, there was a knock at the door of the room. After I had concluded, a poor sister came in, and brought us some of her dinner, and from another poor sister, 5s. In the afternoon she also brought us a large loaf. Thus the Lord not only literally gave us bread, but also money.

      In reading about all these answers to prayer, the believing reader may be led to think that I am spiritually minded above most of the children of God, and that, therefore, the Lord favours us thus. The true reason is this. Just in as many points as we are acting according to the mind of God, in so many are we blessed and made a blessing. Our manner of living is according to the mind of the Lord, for He delights in seeing His children thus come to Him (Matt. vi.); and therefore, though I am weak and erring in many points, yet He blesses me in this particular, and, I doubt not, will bless me, as long as He shall enable me to act according to His will in this matter.

      After we had, on December 31st, 1831, looked over the Lord's gracious dealings with us during the past year, in providing for all our temporal wants, we had about 10s. left. A little while after, the providence of God called for that, so that not a single farthing remained. Thus we closed the old year, in which the Lord had been so gracious in giving to us, without our asking any one:—

      1. Through the instrumentality of the box, £31. 14s.—

      2. From brethren of the Church at Teignmouth, in presents of money, £6. 18s. 6d.

      3. From brethren living at Teignmouth and elsewhere, not connected with the Church at Teignmouth, £93. 6s. 2d. Altogether, £131. 18s. 8d.

      There had been likewise many articles of provision and some articles of clothing given to us, worth at least £20. I am so particular in mentioning these things, to show that we are never losers by acting according to the mind of the Lord. For had I had my regular salary, humanly speaking, I should not have had nearly as much; but whether this would have been the case or not, this is plain, that I have not served a hard Master, and that is what I delight to show. For, to speak well of His name, that thus my beloved fellow-pilgrims, who may read this, may be encouraged to trust in Him, is the chief purpose of my writing.

      We had now in the new year to look up to our kind Father for new mercies, and during the year 1832 also we found Him as faithful and compassionate as before, not laying more on us than He enabled us to bear, though space will only permit me to mention a few particulars.

      January 7, 1832. We