The Complete Novels of Lewis Carroll (Illustrated Edition). Lewis Carroll

not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.

      ‘How should I know?’ said Alice, surprised at her own courage. ‘It’s no business of mine.’

      The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed ‘Off with her head! Off—’

      ‘Nonsense!’ said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.

      The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said ‘Consider, my dear: she is only a child!’

      The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave ‘Turn them over!’

      The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

      ‘Get up!’ said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.

      ‘Leave off that!’ screamed the Queen. ‘You make me giddy.’ And then, turning to the rosetree, she went on, ‘What have you been doing here?’

      ‘May it please your Majesty,’ said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, ‘we were trying—’

      ‘I see!’ said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. ‘Off with their heads!’ and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.

      ‘You sha’n’t be beheaded!’ said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.

      ‘Are their heads off?’ shouted the Queen.

      ‘Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!’ the soldiers shouted in reply.

      ‘That’s right!’ shouted the Queen. ‘Can you play croquet?’

      The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently meant for her.

      ‘Yes!’ shouted Alice.

      ‘Come on, then!’ roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering very much what would happen next.

      ‘It’s—it’s a very fine day!’ said a timid voice at her side. She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

      ‘Very,’ said Alice: ‘—where’s the Duchess?’

      ‘Hush! Hush!’ said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered ‘She’s under sentence of execution.’

      ‘What for?’ said Alice.

      ‘Did you say “What a pity!”?’ the Rabbit asked.

      ‘No, I didn’t,’ said Alice: ‘I don’t think it’s at all a pity. I said “What for?”’

      ‘She boxed the Queen’s ears—’ the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little scream of laughter. ‘Oh, hush!’ the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. ‘The Queen will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the Queen said—’

      ‘Get to your places!’ shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.

      The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.

      The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting ‘Off with his head!’ or ‘Off with her head!’ about once in a minute.

      Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, ‘and then,’ thought she, ‘what would become of me? They’re dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there’s any one left alive!’

      She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself ‘It’s the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to.’

      ‘How are you getting on?’ said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth enough for it to speak with.

      Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. ‘It’s no use speaking to it,’ she thought, ‘till its ears have come, or at least one of them.’ In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared.

      ‘I don’t think they play at all fairly,’ Alice began, in rather a complaining tone, ‘and they all quarrel so dreadfully one ca’n’t hear oneself speak—and they don’t seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them—and you’ve no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there’s the arch I’ve got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground—and I should have croqueted the Queen’s hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!’

      ‘How do you like the Queen?’ said the Cat in a low voice.

      ‘Not at all,’ said Alice: ‘she’s so extremely—’ Just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, ‘—likely to win, that it’s hardly worth while finishing the game.’

      The Queen smiled and passed on.

      ‘Who are you talking to?’ said the King, going up to Alice, and looking at the Cat’s head with great curiosity.

      ‘It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat,’ said Alice: ‘allow me to introduce it.’

      ‘I don’t like the look of it at all,’ said the King: ‘however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.’

      ‘I’d rather not,’ the Cat remarked.

      ‘Don’t be impertinent,’ said the King, ‘and don’t look at me like that!’ He got behind Alice as he spoke.

      ‘A cat may look at a king,’ said Alice. ‘I’ve read that in some book, but I don’t remember where.’

      ‘Well, it must be removed,’ said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, ‘My dear! I wish you would have this