Chesapeake Crimes: Invitation to Murder. Donna Andrews

swallowed hard. “That does explain how you would know.”

      A massive vein bulged down the middle of Skunk’s forehead. “You crackin’ I’m some kind of dope?”

      Unsure of what he just asked, Amelia tried to stay calm and think fast. “Well…about that scroll—the one worth thirty G’s—why don’t you ask Ziva if she knows where it is? She’s Jimmy’s girl, right?”

      Both Kitty Kats and Skunk looked at Amelia with questioning brows.

      Amelia offered information to clarify. “A sophisticated dame named Ziva. With long blond hair and a roller-coaster body.” Amelia hoped to heaven she wasn’t fictional.

      “Do you know this Ziva?” Skunk asked Kitty.

      “Nope. Never heard of her.”

      “Mr. Skunk, I think I have an idea, but would it be all right if I put my arms down now?”

      “I never told ya to put ’em up, doll.”

      Amelia found herself oddly flattered that Skunk had called her a doll and that worried her greatly. But she had more on her mind at the moment, like how to get herself out of this potentially deadly scenario. “As I mentioned, I am aware of a dame named Ziva with whom Jimmy had been keeping company. If you would allow me a phone call, I could contact this Ziva and ask her about the scroll.”

      “Seems like you’re the kind who’d call the cops,” Skunk said.

      “Sir, you have a gun and I do not. My only intention is to assist you in locating this Egyptian or Roman relic as quickly as possible so I might return home to my child and husband.”

      Skunk tapped a dapper shoe a few times while sizing up Amelia and her offer. “All right. One ring on the blower. That’s all ya get. Make it profitable.” He reached over the bar with his free hand and produced a black telephone with a gold dial, then motioned her over.

      Amelia stood and inched her way warily toward the telephone, which, in her opinion, was far too near the weapon held by an admitted killer.

      “You tell me the number, I’ll do the dialin’,” Skunk ordered.

      After giving him the phone number for her own home, she put the heavy receiver to her ear and said a silent prayer. One ring, two rings, three. Her prayers were answered before the fourth ring. “Hello, you have reached the Birdwhistle residence, Thaddeus Birdwhistle speaking.”

      Teddy only answered the telephone if she or Angus was unavailable; it was the key rule in their household. This made her job much easier. “Hello, Teddy, this is Mommy. Where is Daddy at the moment?” She felt Skunk shove the pistol into her side, reminding her no monkey business.

      “He is in the garden tending to some weeds. Will you be home soon?”

      “Hopefully, darling. Tell me, where is your book? The one you are writing?”

      “I have it in my hand. You caught me in the middle of what I feel will be a turning point in the plot. A gangster named Skunk has Mac and Kitty Kats on the ropes. He’s copped to killing Jimmy for an ancient Egyptian artifact known as the Golden Scroll.”

      This was an interesting turn of events, indeed. Amelia had rung Teddy hoping his story would be further written to the point of revealing Ziva’s whereabouts or, even better, that of the scroll. But it seemed that while he penned his tale, she was living it. Playing the role of Mac himself. She found this both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. Of course, there was also the possibility that she teetered on the brink of insanity, but she’d deal with that later.

      “Do you have your pencil handy?” she asked Teddy.

      “Get to it, lady, I ain’t got all day,” Skunk warned her.

      “Yes, I have my pencil,” Thaddeus answered.

      “Teddy, listen carefully. I need you to write Ziva into the story right now. Have her walk into Skunk’s parlor—have her walk in and offer the Golden Scroll to Skunk in return for the release of Kitty and me—I mean, Kitty and Mac.”

      “That would make for a very short book,” Thaddeus argued.

      “Just do it. Trust me. Write the words in the book now, I implore you.”

      “Yes, Mommy.”

      Amelia listened in the receiver as Teddy put his end down. She heard the faint scratching of pencil on paper.

      “I ain’t so sure you’re on the up and up here, lady,” Skunk said. He appeared ready to take some action to end Amelia’s call when his attention was drawn to commotion on the other side of the door across the room.

      A woman’s voice could be heard through the door. “Out of my way, you brute. I am here to see a man by the name of Skunk.” The door opened with a swoosh. In the entrance stood a striking woman with long blond hair, and yes, a roller-coaster body. In her hands, she held a wooden box only slightly larger than a cigar box.

      “Are you Ziva?” Amelia asked.

      “I am. I have brought the Egyptian scroll for you, Skunk, in exchange for your hostages.”

      More commotion rang from the hallway, and before the exchange could take place freeing Amelia and Kitty Kats, a sickly thin man with a rat on his shoulder appeared with a gun in his hand. “Not so fast there,” he said. “I’ll be taking that, if you don’t mind.”

      Kitty gasped. “Rat Man!”

      Amelia whispered into the phone. “Teddy, I told you to bring Ziva in with the scroll. Why are you sending the Rat Man in as well?”

      “I told you, Mommy, these characters just seem to write themselves.”

      “Teddy, I don’t like being cross with you, but I am telling you now, young man, take control. You have the pencil, not Rat Man. Erase him now.”

      “But Mommy… ”

      “Now, erase the Rat Man!”

      A moment later, the thin man collapsed on the floor in a heap. Skunk, thrown off guard by the sudden turn of events, knelt to test Rat Man’s pulse, and conveniently, his pistol went with him, allowing Amelia to whisper further directions to her son.

      “Here, Kitty!” Ziva said, throwing the box to Kitty Kats. “Jimmy would have wanted you to have the Golden Scroll. Sell it and use the money to start a new life in Paris like you’ve always dreamed. You won’t have to remove your clothes and writhe in front of foul men any longer.”

      A smile blossomed across Kitty’s face. “Thank you, Ziva!”

      Right then, three uniformed policemen pushed through the doorway, guns drawn. “William ‘Skunk’ Snodgrass,” one of them announced. “You are under arrest for the murder of Jimmy Jiggs and the Rat Man.”

      “I didn’t kill Rat Man. He just croaked right here in front of me!”

      “Yeah, yeah,” another cop said. “Likely story.”

      Ziva sashayed out of the parlor with the same grace as she had entered.

      “I guess this is goodbye,” Kitty said to Amelia. “Here, have your twenty back. And thanks. I hear Paris is beautiful this time of year.”

      “Goodbye, Kitty,” Amelia said. “Be well.”

      * * * *

      Amelia drove home in a daze after leaving Handsome Eddie’s. The police didn’t ask her questions. In fact, it was as if they did not even know she was there.

      Upon arriving home, she snatched the paperback book from Thaddeus’s hands and threw it into the fireplace, lighting a corner with a match, and setting the dreaded thing ablaze.

      She took her son into her arms. “Teddy, I love you very much, but I had to do that.”

      Angus wandered in,