Ain't No Way. Jerry Milam

between understanding, admiration, and guilt. Yes, it was John who had fallen asleep on guard duty.

      “John, how could you fall asleep on duty while so many lives were in your hands?” scoffed Bernie Douglas.

      “Ain’t no way!” shouted Luke.

      “Yes, there was a way,” John admitted. “And you are quite right, Mr. Douglas, I made a very bad mistake. Luckily we were all unharmed this time.”

      “Well, I hope you—” started Mr. Douglas.

      “Honest mistake. Honest humans make honest mistakes,” Matt mumbled as he put up the stick that he was whittling on and meandered off toward the horses. Bernie Douglas pouted as the rest of the group only grinned.

      “Well, that’s a human error that I hope will never happen again,” remarked John as a small whimpering yelp came from the unhuman who was lying near Barney T. John reached over to pet Do-What and said, “You too, uh, boy?”

      Chapter Three

      Stagecoach or No Stagecoach

      “Young lady, may I have some more coffee while I am waiting for an answer to my question?” Barney asked. “I trust that I answered your question satisfactorily, Mrs. Douglas?”

      Martha politely nodded, and Beth brought over the big, heavy, hot coffee pot to pour Barney another cup. There was silence for a brief period as it seemed that no one wanted to take the task of relating the long story to the new member of the group.

      John, seeing that Luke was about to open his mouth, began to tell of the journey.

      “Well,” John hesitantly started. “My home was near Green River, Wyoming. My wife and I had a small place there. One day while I was in town getting seed for corn, a skunk got after our chickens. Nellie, my wife, got after the skunk with an old broom, just like she had done many times before. But this time, the skunk did not run. Instead, it turned on her, bit her on the ankle, and then ran off. A fortnight later, Nellie came down with a high fever. The skunk was rabid, and two days later, Nellie died, leaving me by myself.”

      The whole camp was listening intently because this was the first time that John had mentioned that he even had a wife. Matt thought to himself, “John must really have a lot of respect for Barney.” John was a good judge of character, and to tell Barney this story, John must think that Barney was one very fine person.

      “To make a short story long,” John tried to ease the tension, “Nellie’s people were from St. Louis, so I took her there to be buried. On the way home, I met the Douglases and Beth on the stage at Independence, Missouri. I really didn’t have nothing to come home to, so when they mentioned that they were going to California for a while, I decided to just head that way myself.”

      Seeing that John was thinking of Nellie somewhat, Martha took over. “Bernie and I had just gotten married, so we decided to take a month and go to San Francisco for a honeymoon. Since our parents have passed on, we brought Beth along on the trip. So far, she seems to be enjoying the trip better than either one of us.”

      “Me too,” Luke butted in on the conversation. “Me and Matt—”

      “Matt and I,” Martha corrected.

      “You wasn’t with Matt, I was,” Luke insisted.

      “Oh, never mind,” Martha conceded.

      “Anyways,” Luke continued. “We got on the stage in Denver. We drove a string of horses up there. Boy, did we have a rough drive! When we started up there, I knew it was going to be rough. You remember me telling you that it wasn’t going to be an easy drive, Matt? I could just feel it. You remember me telling you we ain’t gonna make it? Ain’t no way. But we did, then—”

      “Then,” John took over the reins to keep Luke from rambling on and on about nothing. “We got as far as Provo, and the stage line decided that they weren’t going to cross the desert again until late August or early September. Personally I could have waited ’til then, but not Martha. When Martha sets her mind to doing something, you have three choices: get out of the way, get run over, or help out. At the time, the utter seemed to be the best choice. So we got a couple of wagons and some provisions together and started on our way, stagecoach or no stagecoach.”

      Chapter Four

      Just A-wantin’ to Breathe

      “Well, Mr. Beast, where is your home? Do you live in these woods? Do you live by yourself other than Do-What there? Why do—” Luke was starting to ramble.

      “Lu-uke,” Martha halfway scolded.

      “It’s okay, ma’am,” Barney took up for Luke. “You all have the same questions but are too embarrassed to ask, especially all at once.”

      “Nope,” said Matt with a chew of tobacco in his mouth. “Luke was fixin’ to start jabbering, and Martha figured, ‘Ain’t no bay.’” Matt had to spit. “We are gonna ask them questions in due time.”

      Looking over at Luke, Barney answered, “Son, I guess you must like to talk?” Luke nodded as Barney continued, “And I bet that you’re very good at it too.”

      Luke saw another opening and took advantage of it, “Yes, sir, but not as good as Mr. Douglas over there. Why, I saw him talk a lady into buying an undergarment from him when she was fifty cents short of two-bits. Well, the way he explained to her how good she would look in that thing, I thought she was going to buy two of ’em. Then—”

      Bernie Douglas came scampering out from behind his wagon with one side of his suspenders up and the other side down. “Damn it, boy, did anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?”

      “Now, Bernie,” Martha admonished, “don’t scold the boy for telling the truth. I knew who you were and what you were before I married you. By the way, I sure hope that you were finished with what you were doing.”

      “One of these days, Martha, I’m going to—” Mr. D growled.

      “Yeah, yeah, don’t make promises that you can’t keep,” returned Martha.

      When Bernie stomped off, the rest of the group just shook their heads and gave little smirks to one another. Even Do-What thought that his behavior was unbecoming. The dog raised his ears and turned his head to watch the man’s departure. Occasionally Do-What would turn and look up at Barney T. as if to ask, “What’s his problem?” When Bernie had gotten out of sight, Do-What laid his head back down between his two front paws, only shifting his eyes in the direction of the man’s exit. He looked as though he was hoping that the man would not return.

      Meanwhile, Barney was taking up where he had left off, explaining, “I am a coal miner and a coal miners’ son and grandson and so forth. But I didn’t want to be a coal miner. Well, in my family, that was totally unheard of. So I packed a bag and headed west to find out who I was and what I wanted to be.

      “At first, I had intended to go visit an old friend of the family in California, a man by the name of Sutter. Ol’ Sutter has a small lumber mill out there, so I thought I might give that a try for a spell. Well, I guess someone smarter than I am decided that they knew more about me than I did, ’cause when I reached that valley over there, I knew that my journey had come to an end. This was the most beautiful place that I had ever seen. The smell of the pine trees, the sound of the wind blowing through the trees and the grass, the sight of an old hawk circling and looking for prey, and the taste of the clean, clear water, all of which put new life back into my body like a breath of…I guess it was the breath of me and my lungs just a-wanting to breathe.”

      Chapter Five

      Let’s Go