BAD (Begin Again Differently). Claudette Yarbrough

twice.

      For fifteen years, I worked for a not for profit agency in Buffalo, NY providing services to persons with intellectual disabilities and mental illness. I was in charge of the oversight and management of multiple residential and day habilitation services throughout my tenure. I was in charge of not only the daily monitoring and oversight, but also the supervision, hiring, and oversight of employees who worked in the programs I was leading. I was directly responsible for multiple 24/7 operations. As you can imagine, this was not always the easiest job, and it required a tremendous amount of carefully thought out strategic planning. My role could not be taken lightly because other people’s lives were at stake. It was a huge responsibility, but I loved my job and I loved the people I served. Everything was always about serving others. I put so much love into the work that I was doing, that eventually it burned me out. I was the typical person who loved to please. I was so busy working that I did not have time to stop and think, let alone stop to reflect on what I was doing or why I was doing. I did not know any better. All I knew was that I was responsible, and I had big shoes to fill.

      Just like a fire without a fuel source, I burned out. I was exhausted. I was so tired of working two jobs, trying to manage all of these people and things, trying to pay off my mounting debts and taking care of my mother who suffers from several debilitating and ongoing medical conditions that I started to lack passion. I began to lose focus, and I had lost sight of the things that really mattered. I struggled daily to get up, get dressed, and go to work. I remember breaking down in tears often because I was trying my best but feeling my worst. After several conversations with my significant other, I finally decided that it was time to make a change.

      It did not take me long after that to set my plan for change in motion. Although it was a difficult decision, and I would encounter many speed bumps along the way. I turned in my resignation, and, I listed my mother’s house for sale. I terminated the lease on our apartment, sold many of our belongings including two vehicles and we called my husband’s parents to assist us in locating a new place to live 1550 miles away in San Antonio, Texas.

      A few months later, I put my mother on a plane and we packed up two households and drove across the country in our U-hauls with our remaining vehicles in tow. I began the process of starting over. It took several months to adjust to our new surroundings and to re-establish new medical providers. In my downtime, I took a much-needed break! For me, this was not an easy adjustment. I did not even know how to take a break, I found myself looking for things to keep me busy. Eventually, my savings were depleted, and I needed to start looking for a new job. At first, I reached out and applied to positions in the same field. I went to a few interviews and received a few offers, but something inside of me was telling me not to take that same path. I struggled with myself because I loved that field but somehow that field just did not love me back in a way that was healthy. I continued to explore. I came across a listing online for a job in my community that really compelled me to apply. This may sound cliché, but I feel as though a higher power called me to this opportunity and therefore, I applied. Have you ever decided to do something just because something from within you was calling you to it? That was me! I almost lost hope along the way because the process took longer than I had ever experienced, however, as soon as I stopped worrying, the call came through. I was notified that I was selected as a finalist for the position, and I was asked to meet and interview with the CEO of YES Inc., Ms. Claudette Yarbrough.

      I knew right when I met Ms. Yarbrough for the first time, that I had found a new calling. She had something to offer me shortly after that meeting, but it was not only a job that she was offering me, it was an opportunity to change. Everything about the position I was hired for was vastly different than anything I had ever done. In fact, I had asked the question, “What a typical day might look like for me?” Ms. Yarbrough said, “I can’t answer that for you, everything is different, and every day is new.” One of the first things her team members had communicated with me was that if I were going to be successful, I would need to be able to “embrace change” and “to trust the process.” At first, I did not fully understand what was meant by “trust the process” but I soon came to understand that I needed to believe in what I was doing and everything that is done or asked of me, is done with purpose. The second thing I was told to do was to be purposeful about keep and reflecting in a daily journal. I had never really written in a journal consistently and I thought at first, what an odd way to conduct business, and why would this be a good use of my time. I soon realized that the journal I was keeping was the key to my growth and success. I filled my first 168-sheet front and back hardcover journal up in less than a month. I am still amazed at what I was able to learn and accomplish within just a few weeks. I have always had confidence, but it is really something when you find out that you do not know all there is to know about yourself. It is an expectation that I write in my journal each day. I have made a habit of writing in my journal now, not because it is expected, but because it has become a part of me and has made me more effective in all areas of my life.

      After being introduced to her organization’s mission, vision, and core values, I was quickly able to align myself with the noble goal. Having a noble goal is highly important to being successful. When you have a noble goal, you want to ensure that everything you do in life is aligning with that goal. When you know why you are doing it, it becomes easier to get it done. I remember when I was younger, my mother used to call me the “why child”. I was always asking my mom “why” most of the time, I ended up hearing “because I said so” after I asked her several why is in one conversation. I have always been concerned with the “why” behind the motive to do, or not to do. When you know why it becomes easier to understand the purpose. When I grew up and life happened, somehow, I stopped asking why, because I thought it did not matter so much, and I really did not think I had time to continue to ask “why.” I realized after meeting Ms. Yarbrough, and having the time provided to do that type of thinking, that it is important. It is also important to make sure your goals and your “why” aligns. When you are in alignment, it is easier to be the same person at work, as you are at home and in the community. It is possible to be one whole person, instead of being one way while at work and being another when you are at home. When you are not in alignment with your noble goal, you will find yourself off track. Ms. Yarbrough instilled the importance of setting and writing goals not just for the company, but also for ourselves. When we are able to write our goals down, it gives us a way to hold ourselves accountable for the work and effort that we must do to achieve the goal. Writing your goals make it much easier to manage the process and to know exactly where we are. It also allows us to check each other to make sure we are on track and allows us to push each other up!

      Have you ever been in a place where you did not understand why someone was telling you all of their business? Have you ever been that person who wishes someone had let you know in advance that something was coming up, or wished someone kept you in the loop on something that was important? Have you ever been that person who was told to stop asking so many questions? For years, I did not understand why it was necessary to let others know exactly what I was doing, nor did I pay too much attention to what everyone else was doing, except for when something was not done. For years, I was criticized for asking too many questions that is until I met and began working for Ms. Yarbrough. She has taught me that it is important to communicate what you know when you know it. She encourages others to ask as many questions as needed to get clarity, as long as they are relevant questions. When you over-communicate the need for asking excessive questions lessens. When you over-communicate, no one is left in the dark. You do not have to waste time repeating yourself like a broken record. Over-communicating gives you the responsibility for the clarity of the message. When you over-communicate you get your needs met, and you reduce the opportunity for gaps.

      When I started to implement the things, Ms. Yarbrough has coached me on, I saw immediate growth in myself. She has inspired me to stop worrying over making simple decisions. It used to take me sometimes, days, to make a decision because I was always worried about what others might think, or how it might affect others. I would sleep on it, worry about it, and for me, making decisions was never a comfortable thing to do. After a few weeks, and informal lessons from Ms. Yarbrough, I had built more confidence and I found myself making decisions. She let me know that if I did not like the decision I made, or if I decided I could have made a better decision, that I still could and that I should just simply make another decision. It was